my version of history

2 in 1 day- Cry me a river- preferably the river Niger!

2009-08-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

Back to friggin square 1!! see my life...and there is this other guy thats chasing me- but im not interested...I want that one.lol!

Life mehn, I thought this whole relationship thing was easy- liking someone is just 10% of it, the remaining 90% is a combination of wahala, trips and other random stuvvs...I love it though...the drama that is...

Oh, by the way- between me and you, I have started crying...it doesnt happen very often but when I do I break down...lol!!

Wow, so I bumped into this guy the other day I went to school with...OMG- I think cos I was such a tramp in school- I used to be such a tom boy...anyhow, the guy saw me and his jaw dropped...lol! He was looking at me like 'Who the heck is this babe'?? then when he saw it was moi his eyes really lit up...lol! I laughed- Confirmation babes were looking tew mad! lol! As in, I didnt even tell him to stop drooling! lol! I just laughed at him...bless him sha... guy has always been a little shy...guy couldnt even look at me- lol! I was like 'dude. Im not on the other side of the road o' lol! Jokes...

I have only ever been the fool for one person and I think thats why Im still holding on to him like a bad smell...

K, 2 blog entries in one day- I dont know who is the lucky person- me for still having the opp for writing this (God keeping me safe) or you reading the usual garb of jumbled up ish...anyhow, Nothing has changed...I still am just the biggest idiot for him...whatevvvzzz mehn...You have to fall at one point, why not head first from a bridge 2 miles high eh??

Anyhow, people are telling me to acquire feelings for this guy- my best friend- sort of...He is cool but he is not my cup of gari at allllllllllllllllll... He is too emotional and I am not, he gets annoyed about my blaze attitued, I get annoyed that he takes things personally all the time- We work so well as friends...anything else? Abeg- you will need to have a fire truck, abulanzzzz and a hospital on standby mehn! lol! He is cheap, I am very generous...

Oh, my friends bro is fine...like FINE!! And that ish is WRONG- SO WRONG... anyhow, hes a good look sha... different, rude confident but not an idiot...well put together- like my friend in many ways- Cool babe all round...

Oh no, someone just saw me pat the weave at wek! lol! never mind- til tomorrow.

I love his Ego....Such a big ego-

2009-07-13T02:22:00.000-07:00

OMG!! LOHHHNGGGG TIME!!!!

...youre going to kill me if you know what I did- think this might have to be inbox moves...I went where I shouldnt have, felt what I shouldnt and said what I wasnt meant to...lol! not dirty talk...this is all emotions...Im really trying to sort this out in my head...trying to really hone in on the feelings and what they mean...

So you remember HIM of old- Older than old of old! Anyhow, I introduced HIM into my life but I dunno- Its not really the same as I am more in control? lol! Question mark is cos I dont know if Im just lying to myself...

Its annoying that he is a cool guy. It really is...

Stupid ass furst crushes... why dont they just dissapear...I mean I dont even know why...is it like a reversion of the mean? I mean, Im not bored- I have enough on my plate to deal with and there is someone I actually like- I suppose its one of those 'im not done' things whereby I just never said what I meant to - its like when you put a tin of baked beans under pressure...and then when it comes down to it you just explode!!

So I said what I should have like a million years ago and now i feel better but a whole lot worse...like I dont any resentment towards him- think now I have it more for myself for two reasons-

1)WTF am I doing with someone elses property?? Guilty conscience...I shouldnt like him but I do...but I dont know how I like him- Like at first I wasnt sure if liking him was LIKING him as per like having feelings towards or just as in platonic...but we get on enough for me to know that its probably the latter and Ill be very annoyed if its something else (like having feelings towards...)
2) why do i like him? Im usually the voice of reason. the logical sensible one so I am real mad at myself!

Anyhow, I spoke to him- yessir- I called him (apparantly meaning I want something from him- friendship maybe? but as my dear friend told me, after all this going backward and fwd, you think the guy wants friendship? )- It was no biggie- I call my mates in nige (so I told myslef...) we spoke- It was oddly too easy to talk to him- up until the conversation veered towards emotions...I was lost for words and I never am- I didnt really think about my feelings- what they meant and all cos I didnt have a clue what I was feeling? you understand? probably not...

so as it is- first crush...trying to wean myself off him- If he was an idiot, I suppose it would make it easier- but he is not...I NEVER am doting over guys- I wont lie and say its always the other way round but I dont chase- never have never will- NO! Im not chasing him cos I dont want anything from him- I dont want to have some sort of funny duddy relationship that cannot be defined. I dont even want to do any stuvvs with him- I dont know how I would be able to explain that to God...I already have a lot of explaining to do as it is...I dont want any more to the list...

Haha! Think whats really funny is that he probably thinks I cant help myself with him- but I can- lol! Think I have way more self control than I like to think- Im so good at saying no that im sure some guys think I invented the word!lol...

But really- think I have sussed me out...I love people(guys sha- babes dont really cut it for me-lol0 with egos and swagger but are also educated/enlightened enough to know they arent the only smartie pants in the world...its a very fine line mayte...

but I cant talk about my feelings here anymore- think its about time the world knew what was going on up in herr up in hurr...

Anyhow, this is one of many...I have a record to beat peeps...

Random bit of info

2009-02-14T17:46:00.000-08:00

Okay, anyone who lives in North West london or north london you will know what I am talking about. Okay. I cannot drive let me point this out.

Anyhow, I was being driven to brent Cross-yes driven...and no, not by the big Red limousine called Metroline bus!! A Car- A sexy car aCTUALLY!! Not a DB7, or a 911 or a Mc Laren SLR or a Bugatti...
anyhow, I was ssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo distracted by this Mahusive poster of this rugby player in action...not 'in action' in action o....you derry people...I meant catching a rugby ball (a real one- These are not coded yarns...Im not trying to describe a dude wobbly bits gone wrong/mutated)!!

THIS IS THE STAPLES CORNER ROUNDABOUT IF YOU WANNA LOOK FOR IT..OMG...IT IS SOO BIG...I CAN STILL SEE IT WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES...A BIT LIKE HOW I SEE TYSON BECKFORD WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES...BUT WITH CLOTHES ON!!LOL!!

I was sooo distracted. The guy was catching a rugby ball NAKED!!! With his bothy all greased up..It was distracting and I wasnt even driving...I felt sorry for my prudish sister who was trying her hardest to continue to drive...

I have decided to post something as soon as it happens...I was gonna put Blogger on my BB but Mehn- if it gets lost...I might as well be lost!! you get me...
I trust you lot had a fab vals day- Mine was dry but its the last dry one in gonna have in my life...FOREVER!!! Y'all hear me? FOREVER!!!

FOr a second today I thought of all the people I have 'missed road' with...as per, the ones that got away...I didnt want to say it like that cos it makes it sound naff- when you say miss road you picture it like sat nav... 'after 300meters, turn left' in that annoying american accent- dont get me wrong, I totally dig the americana accent...I picked it up a few times while there (Same way I picked up hausa in nige) ...lol!! anyhow, The 'miss road' is derived from the grammatically incorrect 'you don miss road' saying often used to abuse someone as opposed to calling them a retard,cretin, heeediat,ode, mumu, ...and the list goes onnnnnnnnnnn!!

what else happened?? oh yeah...Does anyone work with people whose first language is not english...This does not include Yoruba btw... but sometimes it should cos mehn...dropping grenades...naw- im not just gonna diss Youba peep...I love you like Gari- and you know the love is deep mehn!! most languages ae like that o...anyhow, I was speaking to a work colleague who wanted me to organise something for him and h kept saying the client and the CEO of this company were 'playing with my toes' on this issue..lol!!and when you say that in a thick french accent while grunting and groaning down the phone..you cannot expect chicks not to laugh...I wanted to mute the phone and burst into laughter...it was ryediculous!!

SO ANY VLS STORIES...???

Omo you don make me fall in...cough cough I cant even say it!! lol!

2009-02-03T13:38:00.000-08:00

Oh mah gash dudes- as in, I actually have time to BLOG!! Okay thats cos I have not been starbucksing again!! Those people are thieves!! £3 for a small cup of cocoa- im sure you have heard about our 6inch snow that stopped everything...

Well I had a fab night out this weekend...aside from receiving a very unnecessary message from my mate- I wasnt even pissed off though- Its like this- if you cant be bothered to halla and even say 'btw im alive but I wont be picking up my phone' that is cool... but dont just cut yourself off and then reattach yourself when its okay- Im not asking you to compromise your first class- Not at friggin all!! I'd love for you to get your first class and go out with a bang but the way you just dropped me around exam time was deep-

Not even a word blad!! Allow it mahn!! I dont mean to sound all homo but you dont just pick and drop me when there are trips to be caught!! Im not even that much fun so when you initiate meeting up, dont expect me to be all up on it!! Yes, I do sound like a homo getting all upset- maybe I'm bored...I dunno mehn!!

Anyhow, Whats new??? Oh yeah, I finally remembered the guys name- I dont know how sha but I do now- but he is mates with my mate mentioned aboves brother.

Talking of brothers, is 2009 the year when all the brothers are out and about????

As in, its like there is an obscene amount of talent!! Its sooo bad I dont know where to look- I suppose its time to start building up your portfolio before they start going into hiding again!!

But mehn!!I think I have found the one- like OMG- guy fine pass gari- and you know thats major- I have checked out our mutual friends so ill just have to be working within that circle...lol!! I sound desperate right??? hahaha!! Its cos I AM!! lol!!- Im playing...Nah, its cos I have not really like someone at first glance like that in a hot minute!!

Can I just ask though, if you farted and you just ate indomie (I know im a lazy sod- but gari was too much to eat this late!) what would it smell like....?? I think my fart smells of indomie but I only just ate it an hour ago...weird and Im sure you really didnt wanna know that!

Anyhow,
There is this other one that keeps staring when I dance when Im out- I dont know what it is and it is slightly unnerving- this weekend I saw him and cos we have a mutual friend but werent introduced, it was a bit awkward!! Anyhow, this weekend omo was out...when I say omo I am referring to him and not MR stare-at-vindi! I am not imagining things I tell you...
Anyhow, he was looking so much I lost my rhythm!! lol!! It was BAAAADDDD!!! I was cracking up in my head but it wasnt funny!!

Anyhow, Imma holla!

Peace...

Mankolet found...CIA field agents investigating!

2009-01-31T04:35:00.001-08:00

Before we get into the gist, I did something random- I added LP on my FB- loike Ohhh moiiii gawwwsshhhh!! yah- so now you can see all my random notes on all the jazz that I have been writing if I aint been on blogger...

Okay- that was my big thing last week as well as crashing into the doors of a commuter train...Ill start typing it now and post it on wed...

With 14 days to go till the big day, the search is on!! There was one I found the other day- lol!! people were talking about the Mankolet drought but I on the other hand have found my friggin oasis!! Okay, I cant remember his name -no, I wasnt drunk! I was just checking goiz and got busted...lol!! It was one of those 'slow motion' situations!lol!!

Anyhow, Mr IB as I will call him cos I forgot his name- it stands for Investment Banker/Incredibly Beautiful. So, in he came with his clean understated swagger...but he came with a girl- a really lovely girl...I was like skeen- I knew the babe- shes lovely so I didnt bother myself again...but then the babe-lets call her Abi, Abi left to go somewhere with another IB friend...so I thought, hey!!

If you have ever been to a 9ja networking event, youll know that there are some pretentious people...but i was shocked last week- people were approachable, friendly and most of all....(drum roll...) really nice!!

So anyhow, as I am who I am, I subtly checked out the swagger, the shoes...everything seemed okay...but there was no way I could just walk over and just be like wassup - Im not that babe...lawl...anyhow, so my friends sister, lets call her Suliat for the sake of it...lol!! So Suliat walked up to him and started talking to him- I was like skeen, Ill get the gist from my friend, Jennibaby!!lol!

Anyhow, after my designer fish and chips, I went on the train home...on my way home, I text Suliats sister,my friend, Jennibaby!!lol! I said 'I didnt realised Suliat knew hot mankolets you know- but I wont tell you cos youll just crack my egg open'...anyhow, so she now calls me and is like...

'oh so, do you like him?'

I was like the dude is okay now- nothing major!! Then I had a bit of a BF (bitch fit) lol! I now said
'Why did you go and open my nyash to your sister??'
she was now like 'back the heck down mehn- I didnt tell her- she called me and asked if i was interested in someone there, that there was a mankolet and she wanted to play cupid' - I was like 'are you lying to me?' she said 'no now!!- whats wrong with you??'

anyhow, we ended up having a talk on how I dont get excited by goiz again...I mean I do but I dont at the same time!!
After the last fiasco of 'guy-with-girlfriend-but-pretended-not-to-and-then-made-me-fall-for-him' I told myself I wouldnt get excited or get ahead of myself!
I dont think people realise how risk averse I am of falling for someone, devoting your whole life to someone only to reap disappointment- but I think my friend realised how reluctant I was when she was like 'should I investigate?' and my instant reaction was 'hell-to-the-NOOOOO' - She really let it rip about my 'just say no' policy- telling me that just cos you been burnt cooking doesnt mean you should stop cooking...otherwise youll starve...- lol!! okay she didnt say that- she said something gay and i thought naff off even though it was true!lol!!

What made it worse, was that I got a severe case of butterflies when I saw him- it was like you know when you watch 'extreme makeover' and youre like 'OH MY OGSHHHHHIII'(i think Jenifa would say it like this)...I had my usual 'sheepish grin' on my face...I dont think ive had that for well over a year - ok maybe 2 but im in denial! allow me jor...anyhow, as soon as I got that butterfly nonsense, I was like 'err, butterflies, back the hell off my stomach' ...the goi fine o!!
anyhow, I need to pick up my shoes from the cobbler- going out so i will finish this later- maybe MR IB is TBC...lol!! Maybe not- Ill soo have to find his name and stalk him...its necessary- lol!! Im joking o!!

MO TI DE O

2009-01-07T01:35:00.000-08:00

Hahahaha!! That is as far as my youruba goes- that and kini?

hahaha- Happy New year all!! I have been writing notes on FB instead but chicks are bizack!!!!
I have learnt so much Yoruba this year- thanks to 9ice and D'banj! Gongo aso, ma je, and all sorts- Still dont know what they actually mean...I am not yoruba as you can tell!

My lil sis is soo funny- she was singing 'gimme deep drills, gimme deep chills, say me say me we on fire...'- I was like huh?? lol!!

I thought party rider was batty rider for the longest time- until i looked for it on youtube! I was like 'eh hen!!- no wonder people were looking at me!'

I was reading a few peoples blog and realised how far we have come...lol!!- 'Together we made it...'

Music wise, I am liking Weezy for some reason- sorry but his old lyrics are wack!! His freestyle lyrics show someone that is full of white stuff- and Im not referring to milk!!

So who went to nige? I didnt! and I dont care so ha!!- obviously someone that is bitter!

I made a dress the other day- lol!! Please before you abuse me- I am no designer nor a budding one- I had an idea and I put it in action- I am not jumping on that fashion designer bandwagon that several 9ja babes have jumped on!! lol!!If I did, it would be called vindilicious- so look out for it homie!

As you can see, random disjointed bits of my life as usual- nothin change!
Lolly P- Where you at gurl!??as per, you've bounced babes from you blog with your purple rope VIP runz!!

And Slater, you're telling me you dont have a story???- anything from the last few months?? Oh, I wont lie, I do miss the one and only hardguy...I remember doing my dissertation and thinking-'lemme just blog quickly' by the time I knew it, it would be 4am and I would have done 1 page on my dissertation!! Have you started driving yet- Im sure you have a story abount picking up chicks or something! hehehe
Also I read in your blog you are salami- but you are muslim!! I thought Salami was pork?

Hengish Khan!- Where are you dude!??? As in, youve just forgotten babes in freezing Jand! minus 10 degrees bruv!That is what you call deep chills...

No man drama for once- no man sef...2008 was really the great famine! Like I dont think I have ever had a famine like this!! It was bbaaaaaaaaddddddddddddddd!! But this year, only a week in- I am committed to getting so Mankoletts!! Yes- that is the new word for the year!!
MANKOLET

This is our agenda- Just a nice guy- Is that too much to ask for? Maybe- as I am told that I am a bit of a rude gial when it comes to dudes- but to be honest, why settle? Why am I gonna disturb myself with dudes who I dont feel are up to the challenge?? As in, there are levels now!!

Anyhow, I am alive, And Slater, How am I gonna poke you when we are not even friends? See your head!!

tin tin- I take it uni is a biache? No update no nothing...dont worry-Vindi got your back!

I was gonna add you to my FB cos some of you are more friends than the people I have on FB but then that would expose my identity! I dunno sha...send me your email and Imma look for you...

Happy New Year people- Luv you like friend sweet potato with stew! peace out A town down- Yes- I am razz- sue me!!

Question time....

2008-09-27T07:59:00.000-07:00

1) How old are you?

Older than you think...22 amd 363 days- i think sha...

2) What characteristics would put you off a guy?

Easy.
*Nasty shoes
*Nasty Breath to go with it
*An ugly face with an arrogant personality
*Yellow boys- that being said, it wont TOTALLY put me off- as life would have it
*Short (i mean below 5:10- my mates understand yyyyyyy)
*No swagger- even if its goofy, they carry it well...
*Does not thing Jesus is a big deal
*does not think I'm a big deal (lol- im playing)
*Someone that is what i call dry
*Eager to the point where its verging on desperado
*H-factor- Sorry mate...hir haint appunin
*Someone who is only about the stuvvs (either subtle or blatant)- this is a complete NO NO!!
*Champagne popping type of personality- they also somehow tend to have the last two also...
*No qualification
*No prospects

I think that completes that for now

3) Taking your personality & physical attributes into consideration what would you rate yourself out of 10 & why?

Ok. Ive never rated myself...so this may be a little hard.
*Hmm- so we start off with academia- think ill give myself 1.5 (miss P is one of those people Id give a 2 or 2.5- clever clogs)
*Then character- I think im patient, random and tend to be a serial clowner at the most inappropriate times(ie - when everyone is doing effizi, Vindi is trying to toast the shortest guy with the razzest lagos accent) ( Ill give myself 2.5- the 0.5 is for the fact that i aint a biach and I always have my friends best interest at heart.
*Looks wise....hmmm- Well Im not an 'acquired taste' so ill get at least one point.Last i checked, i was looking aight- i look good with or without make up and i dont look like a scarecrow in the morning so on that note...Aesthetically, id give myself another 3 points
and 1.5 for swagger-

The total is-8.5...hmmm- maybe I calculated wrong but anyhow...8.5 aint bad right...but i think id give myself a 7.99...noone is perfect...Id give myself an 8 but my christian life aint as bounz as id like (yeah, its my fault) but to be honest- i dont think im 7.99 or 8.5- Id like to see what you think...what would you give me out of 10?

4) If you could change one thing about your personality what would you change?

*Easy- to be that bit more open (NOT easy oooo) I said open - as per saying what is in my mynd...but apart from that, I think God did a pretty fantastic job

5)If you could change one thing about your body what would you change?

*I could easly write something here but Ill leave you with Psalm 139:14- I aint gonna knock the Creators work...
*Also, i think im so used to my body being this way that I am now very satisfied with my body- before i used to be soooo conscious and paranoid about my bathy but now I know that this is what im stuck with- I aint so sad...especially knowing that it could be a lot worse...and also knowing that...as missy elliot says...'im really really hot'...hehehe- im playing

6) What do you seek in life?

Alright...deep question...lets hope I can answer it as fully as I can...
*World peace(I know right? I should really enter for Miss World)
*A good life for my fam and friends...i always have my friends and fams best interest at heart- no matter how angry i get...I dont know how my parents did it but even when someone has done me greazy, Ill still go all out for them- I suppose if Jesus was betrayed by his comrades and he still died for their sins, I dont see why I should be any different- after all- I dont need to die for their sins
*Success and everything that God has ordained for me...

7) Whats your favourite song?

* I have many so youll have to just wait on a sista...hers some off the top of my head
*ace of base- all that she wants
*Boyz 2 Men- Thank you in advance
*A whole lotta 90s music and 80's and 70's... 'you got to have a JOB if you wanna be with me'...
(talking of videos, did you see the official girl vid for cassie??-when lil wayne takes off his glasses he looks like a right crackhead...- i hope he is ok and sorts himself out soon)moving on...
*Musiq Soulchild -Just friends
*Common- the list is endless- electric circus album- As much as people say it was when dude was mad, i thought is was bananas...- maybe unwritten is right...as per 'I fly like paper, get high like planes'- but on a real...Ive never done weed- that is not for me...
*Other songs- Big Pun 100%- mad jam...
*Noreaga- Super thug ( what what what what wha what!- ayo we light a candle...)
*Jae Millz- My swag- that is such a jam to walk into the club with...lemme set the scene... youre about to walk into Bungalow8 and the chauffeur opens the door for you...flashing lights, then the intro...

TOO MADDD!!

8) How many boyfriends have you had?

Cant count on both hands... maybe cos that would be none, dilch, nadas, narrings... commi-phobe- Commitment phobia...

9)I must ask you 10 questions by force..lol...Umm..*thinks* Have you ever met a guy that met your Mr Right criteria or came close to it?

*Well yah..No, not Mr Sherfield, or Tin tin or Jack Slater... real people...Well there was one but he had a girl (they all do as i have learned...)... but as sade would say...he was the 'Sweetest taboo'- not sure about him being too good for me sha...The names Vindi, get to know...lawl! I thought he would give me the 'kiss of life' I really thoguht his 'love is king'...but i soon realised be was just a smooth operator...

10) Okay Last question. Describe your ideal weekend.
*Friday- go straight to bed after work- wake up at 10 to get ready to go out with some friends...go out... get food(chicken or lamb shawarma from Edgware road) go home...
*Saturday til about 10am-Sleep, wake up, make breakfast for the fam- ideally a bacon, mushroom, spinach and cheese omlette served on brioche with some freshly squeezed juice and some hand prepared exotic friut (papaya, mango, guava, lychee...)
*Lunch would be rice of some kind- my second love after gari...
*dinner- Someone else will make this cos ill be dressing up to go out for dinner...
*After dinner...PARTAY... with my friends
*Sunday- wake up early for church (im always running 'a bit' late...lol) after church have brunch with my church chums...laugh, gist, cause trouble (nothing dangerous or illegal sha) go home with a frappucino in my hand...
But this weekend,,,all ive done is sleep...and wake up- im making dinner which means chicks aint going out this evening...

11) Sorry one more!! What do you think makes you so scared of commitment??
* Girl... This is an interesting one... I dont know... Its not like my parents are separated or anything...In fact quite the opposite thanks to God Almighty...hmm- I suppose its cos I know what im like and i know the expectations I have of God's chosen partner for me and knowing that because they are human, they may disappoint( I said MAY not WILL- but because Im risk averse, MAY will always worry me as much as WILL)...

Now from Miss P:

- How much gari have you drank? -

My girl- too much...I thank God i didnt get kwashoko... I dont know when it started sha... but the love hasnt faded...

-Were you at the jesus house picnic??

I think i was the only person in london (9ja) that was not at the picnic...Seems like the whole on the nigerian community was in that hendon park...dont woory- if i was there and saw you...I most def would have hollered...

Mr Sherfield... Why dont YOU call ME!?? Being cheap again I see...dont worry...noones perfect...anyhow, I deleted your number cos you didnt call...Waste man!lol! Im just playing!

Aight...this has taken a while...sorry if it doesnt make sense... thats me!

hope you lot are enjoying the fantastic sun...Im indoors and i want the heating on like now...

See you later peeps...especially you Mr Sherfield...lol!

random thoughts...Hellowwee....Is it me ur looking for? I can see it in your eyes...

2008-09-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

Hey,

sorry I been paper planes on yah!(get it??MIA)- its late- im allowed to say these type of jokes....

I was trying to make a song up about gari (I know right? I really need to grow out of this...Either that or speak to kex so i can spit a few barz on one track)

Soooo whats been going on??

Well I am in a better place now than I was a few weeks back...I suppose thats what happens when you draw to God and trust him in absolute proportions!!

Did anyone go to that and co parry on carnival weekend? I was going to but long story- i decided that I havent been to a 9ja parry for so long and really and truly my life did not mean anything less- I was still grubbing on my starbucks java chip frappucino with cream on top and chocolate and caramel drizzle! avec the marks and spencer cashew nuts...I shouldnt really say this cos then if you see me in my susal place- you will be able to spot me a mile off!- yes- i eat it in Zara and everywhere!If i could do that to gari, yall know I would...

So whats been happening...Mr Hardguy 101 dun did it again...
Miss P, Me i want my shait o!! de blue han white one will do mehn!!and do i have to pay $25??? can we not get a bloggers discount for only vindi?like say 100%lol!- im pushing my luck right!!??

Anyhow,how did you manage to buy 20 trousers from Zara- you said pant i was like 'huh= yankeed babe- its not her fault)- pant ko pant ni!lol!

So I was in Hendon last week- I was sent on a errand to buy some KFC for my cousin and sister cos they could not be bothered to cook and I was already out! So there I am in the tropical-like storm where you can see the direction of the rain cos its moving that much...and so as im about to enter...I see two beings...Its been a while since any bobo has made me look twice- i was even starting to think i was turning le-le but babes werent even making my head turn so I was like right...

So i now henta KFC- goodness gracious meeee!! I was just singing Black Rob in my head (he only really had one song- 'Woah') So i was like, why hav I been chilling at momsis when this is obviously where its at!! Now there were two- one was clever enough to leave his wallet by the counter - and i was kind enough to hand it to the Manager at KFC- can you imagine loosing your wallet just cos of KFC...I suppose hunger catch the dude well! So his friend (Gorgeous, might I add) was like 'are you high? I wanted to have a look and see the drivers license so see if it was hot stuvvings but i didnt want to be accused of being a thief just cos of fine bobo mehn!
Anyhoooo, I was bapitsed that day- it rained guinea fowl that day- not just cats and dogs...

And so to this weeks task...Im going to try and see how this tin tin qns and answers thing goes here...I obviously wont get as many cos I am not a social bloggerfly but we will see- Haxx me hanythin!

I realised one thing about myself this week though...I am officially the biggest scaredy cat on this side of Northwest london!! Every dude that has attempted to try and get a slice of the pie has either had a second circumcision (without anaesthetic) or has had their heard ripped out, jumped on a few times with my LK Bennett's ( i dont do jimmy choo- its not for everyone- if it was, they would have made it more affordable...)

So I realised:

That I dont like commitment- like I start sweating...not literally but it just makes my heart start up like an engine...like the last chap- we shall call him Ojo. Ojo was a decent human being by most standards- but when it came to me, kai, the guy did me greazy- as in i swallowed pepper! But I realised i only liked him cos he was not available and I knew that I would NEVER go out with or like someone fully like that cos morally, we were not on the same page...He thought something could have happened- I knew narrings was going down...I suppose thats why he did the silent retreat back to girlfriend camp- I still to this day dont know why he cheated...his babe is HAUTE, clever and everything...Men eh? there really is no pleasing them.. I suppose he realised the error of his ways cos dude is still with her...Well from what i last heard...but me nah curr (said in a Jammo accent)...

Next there was CNN- Geez I saw CNN at church this week- I thought i was gonna pass out- usually i chill small before i leave...but tis week, I swear people musta thought I was practicing for the 2012 100 meter sprint Olympics!Can you imagine this....

Ur at church, and then all of a sudden, someone who you have not (really) thought much about for the best part of 9 months just appears...I was stunned...and what did i say in my head 'Oh God!'- and I was in church!! and I kept saying it- Sorry God...I dont mean to call your name...at that point, i thought, 'Yep, God has a sense of humour'

Well i gotsa go... work calls...and momsi is telling me to go to bed cos I have to be fresh and alert for work...lol!! I do love her to bits...

Well minky, i hope ur well and solomonsy...WOAH!! Its been a hot minute!! I need to check you out- least i know what ill spend my lunchtime doing...catchin up...

expect the usual essay type responses to your blog...I just realised i have been bloggin for like 7 years...that is a long time...I still have my old rejected blog...Ill pick a post from there to show you how ive evolved (if you can call it that)...

Ok people... think happy thoughts this week...Ill come up with a gari son by mid weeek- im thinking of using that woman Jennifer Hudson 'Well i dont mind..(he he) drinking ijebu gari (he he), maybe if you treat me righ (he he) i will let you have some ( i wil let you have some...) ...- work in progress...as usual...if you get any ideas, hit me up!

Haller! luv you like gari, ground nut and beans....WOW!! Now thats LOVE!!

Peace...

im getting berra

2008-08-23T14:54:00.000-07:00

Hi People,

Sorry been MIA for a hot minute.

Let me take a moment to address a few things-
Sleepless in Seattle - When i referred to that i was trying to be funny (yes, some might say not trying hard enough)- I just meant it in a putting a face to a name! Sorry if i confused peeps

And tin tin- ill will reveal all- i wont die- i dont think - and I am VERY impressed you dont mix in 'that' circle - Theres nothing wrong with them- dont know or care to know them personally - i dont roll with noprospect-or-ambition.com peeps...

But yeah- i shall reveal all seeing as you got a tad pissed- was not my intention- I think thats the one thing i dont like- people being mad at me- Kai- that thing can just wind me up! I get really upset...anyhow...Just thought id clear that up

Anyhoooooooo, I have had a good week- God is doing his thing and Im in a better place than i was when i wrote the last blog- its funny how God can put things into focus!I really do love him!

Anyhow this week, ive been using the lyrics of a milli on my fam just for kicks- my little sister who is just a class act (yeah, it runs in the fam) was walking past and i was gisting with my bro...Thats how she must have said something about me being fat (wrong move!) and i was now like 'at least i dont have a belly,a belly a belly, a belly' lol! We really cracked up in the house o!

Ok, from that...Its the bank holiday- so what am i gonna do? I tried looking for Miss Pearse in brent cross die this week! KAI!! The babe hid well o!! I searched on the shoe section, the perfume then went up to concessions in Fenwicks NOTHING! then went to GAP- NOTHING!- Then went to Zara- again,NOTHING-

Ok, need to take a deep breath now- I have been trying to understand this marriage thing for a while now- Im not the type of person that is all about getting married- in fact im quite the opposite- I have been trying to understand why people would put themselves through it- Its too darn scary- you are just selling your life for half a bag of gari - WHERE THE HECK IS HALF A BAG OF GARI GONNA GET YOU??? Anyhow, I dont think im a commitment-phoebe but kai!! Every time i think of marriage (where I am involved sha) I feel like blocking! I swear- Im just worried on my wedding day, I dont run down the aisle cos I need to do a last minute blocking runz!- Sorry, thats a bit too crude but mehn- I fear o!

And Tintin, I was just pulling your leg o! Even if you did go to D'den, I wouldnt hold it against you! noones perfect! but the shakie is not bad o!but ur better off making your own sha!

So le stalker is bizzack! Welcome- you have been................................................................................................................................................................................................errr- missed!lol!

So my agenda for this week-
1) Get some gist for you guys- Im sure i have bored you so much that youd rather read rich dad poor dad again
2) Confront my facebook fears and delete some people and not looking back! Not like i even talk to them!*rolls eyes at the stupidity of second agenda*
3) Read my bible MORE and actually try and apply it to my life- you can never be too good to go to heaven...
4) Reveal my identity to dearest tin tin!
5) Try and be less sarcastic and a bit more honest- Well this one is if i have time sha- hodawizzzeee, ill be the usual sarcastic minx!

Oh gosh- i got lost at waterloo station o!! I almost wanted to cry- was waling round looking for the Jubilee line and kept hitting the northern line- or the bakerloo- YES, I can read- and I was exceptional at geography- but the signs just dey confuse me!

Anyhow, Got to prepare for church tomorrow- Ill pray tin tin forgives me- I still really dont know why ur speechless- I mean i get it but not really- PLEASE dont take offence o- My main objective of blogging is not to offend o!

Odabzzz my people!

I aint mad no more

2008-08-10T14:48:00.001-07:00

As Mad Skillz said, I aint mad no more- Sorry if you dont listen to hip hop- that one just went right over your head...

Before i start, Iencourage you all to watch jimmy carr- he is just on my wavelength!! His jokes are just- fresh to death!!

Well, what has been going on this week? hmm- well i think we are making progress with the whole Vindi the Defriender!- I was brutally honest to my friend. But it had to be done...Im all better now...

Anyhoooo, I found out who Mr Tininu is...if it is actually him, the guy is fresh faced and all that...and is friends with people I would rather not be friends with but such is life eh?lol! O fine o but err- Mr slater may be watchin (hey boo- cough cough- that was sooo cheesy- God forbid something that stinks of cheddar comes out my mouth again!! Wrong!

i am officially in love with lil Wayne... like I know- WRONG right... its in the rap sense sha...SOME of his lyrics are bad sha... the one he did with Juelz Santana on one mixtape is bounzzzzz- I was like rahhh blad...EAZZEEE!

Tpain was annoying but now im addicted...I need help! Listen, and the lyrics make me believe that there is hope for you menfolk!!

Any our dear friend (can I call you that?? oh well too late- im no beg friend sha...), Miss Pearse is in town!! WAaaaaaHEY- shame i stayed in all weekend... I mean, if ur in hendon, you should at least see me at BX mehn...

And not sure if ill bump into you as our mutual friend is hmm whats the word....away... but if i see you in the ends, Ill be sure to halla- must warn you though, if its on a weekday, I look like a ruffian cos the way i see it..they dont pay me enough to look bounz at work so they should 'chill off mate'- lol!! Im ssooooo using that!!

Think something is gwaning this weekend sha... Ill keep you posted... And you berra extend that ticket of yours- And where are these fine boys- maybe im numb to it or not hanging in the right place...I wont lie sha... our mutual friend has bloodie hotties for friends...i mean guy friends but you included...

Oh and i saw your guy! That guilder belly, gold tooth with Kola nut in the gaps...and that was not short- guy is a midget!lol- im playing o!!

Meanwhile, Mr Realph, aka one half of the crackerz klub has one mad video...I am standardly gonna be a part time groupie...of sorts sha... no stuvvs just freebies...lol! Ill run it past him when next he comes to town...

Oh and today, I dont know what my brain was doing sha but I was thinkin bout the dude of old- well they prayed for me at church (no joke) so I will be OK! I just need to not see him for a long time but its not even like that cos I still fink about him...AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Shoot me im a mumu- thats a nice title for a nigerian comedy...lol!!

Back to my life...What has been gwaning? well, Apart from Tin tin tryin some sleepless in Seattle (lol- im playing luv) everything is gravy! Saw one guy wearing timbs the other day and I couldnt help but laugh... chill off mate... ur like 10 years late... and I was gonna mention this a few months ago but some pics of some people who are feeling really decked up now emerged on FB!! KAI- Evolution is good o!! Most of them have grown hips sha...(KC boys eh?? Too much beans-lol!!) But I suspect Mr Slater was in one of those pics...in which case, all i can say is this...HAHAHAHA- Scarecrows!!Darn!! I was a cute babe- Yes, I had the anty gimmie cake dress but I wore it well!And I ALWAYS got cake...-
Kai, its funny what a few years can do (some people are still evolving sha...not mentioning any names sha...)

Happy anniversary Miss P!!Wishing you many more years in your relationship!

Sorry this blog is not coherent but you should be used to this after how many entries...

Want to go into consultancy - thats another blog entry...

Love you like gari! Happy sunday!

This is a rambling post so dont bother reading if you dont want to hear serious dust!

2008-07-26T16:50:00.000-07:00

Shebi shebi we on fire...kini big deal...you just dey wind am well,im the biggest boss that you seen thus far... yebariba swaggga swagga eeeeenn, Gongo aso....lori le o di gombe...fi'le...ba beh.. le le le le le le....

Sorry just got back from a party...Have you ever had one of those days where you hate the world? ok not haate but everything is getting on your freaking nerves- your friends are completely messed up and you want to do an overhaul of the system and tell people to fuck off- but you cant...cos you are just not that type of person...

I am very much passive agressive but of recent, certain events have led me to become psycho biach and i dont particularly like it but human being are just effed...

My friends are all annoying me or have all annoyed me in one way or another recently. I am like argh!! leave me alone... I think i need to get away from peeps- I notice that noone really gets me and maybe thats a sign- that i shouldnt really try and 'get' anyone...

i just want to curl up and cry... you can pick your friends but you cant pick your family... seems like i have picked a right bunch of annoying people...is it cos I am annoying? HEll freaking NO! i dunno actually!

My friend is having problems with her man, so she goes to her ex for attention- i dont know how that makes sense sha...the person is your ex for a reason...i suppose thats why i am me and you are...ummm YOU!

I go and chill at your...but how much do i trust you and how real is it? hmmm- i dunno!!

I think i have very high expectations of my friends-and rightly so- i am VINDI for crying out loud!! my parents didnt raise no fool- I was brought up to set high standards for myself and the people around me! When they fuck up, I get mad! like i cant even stand to have your number on my phone cos i want to break it... I am not anal- i am just set in my ways...-lol!

One of my ex friends (she doesnt know it yet) ex boyfriend is a bit of a catch...but because she messed up the guy soooo much, I dont even want to do referral for him- im not saying he needs a referral...anyone that knows him will know that but after my ex friend messed him up- he probably wont admit it but I know the truth... he fell for her in 2nd year and was just waiting for her dickhead of an ex ex to ouddie... so this guy chilled for 2 years only for the babe to mess him up!! Guy got fried mehn!
This is the only exception where i feel the guy has every right to curse abuse and use women... cos that is messed up!!

another potential ex friend of mine (if she doesnt do something which i think she is going to do...- argh!! I just want to scream- but instead- tears- dont worry Im not crying... I stopped crying a long time ago- i just tired of all that sweaty water... boring!!! I want to laugh!! like real laughter...where i want to cry...

Well, I am going to be happy again...just you wait and see- i need to make a new set of friends...

slater, im off to mail Tininu o!! This is gonna be weird...

So Went to a parry today- was bounz sha...who am i lying to ? the only bounz thing was errr...ME! and my gorgeous 'friends'- i need some real people in my life jor...

men will continue to irritate me though...so what if she is 'just' your girlfriend... go fucking home bruv! I just dont get it...why all these game...

aAnyhow, this parrrttty- chosps babes, guys- usual runz...- soo tired of the 9ja circle...It kills me sometimes... You see two people talking and ur like 'oh shit... I know him/her...crap'

Like today, at this parry- saw my friends ex (friend is a mumu for leaving the guy sha...suppose she was too scared of something sensible and responsible- not something she is used to...lol! whatever, im a bitch...shes a mumu! It happens...) anyhow, i see my friends ex...have to be polite...was actually quite a catch...( her ex before the ex was a scarecrow of sorts- and rude and had NO social skills...I mean Ajegunle social skills...horrific stuvs! so i said wassup and then i saw this babe i knew- this one is a stunner...like i am a babe and i am like...beyonce aint got nothing on her...o fine mehn!!anyhow...when i say wassup to her, my friends ex gives the 'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stiiiiiiiiiittttt' look like 'how do they know eachother?' and im thinking.... 'YEah baby, lemme get some gist...' but if the two of them are getting together good for them...i want my ex friend to see how majorly she missed road...she ws looking for fan ice...and she came back with ragolis...anyhow, this is me...

I dont know how to sort out this friendship thing- maybe i should migrate to Norway! or Australia jor- just want to get rid of old ties and people... they are killing me...slowly... So what do you suggest i do with the irritating people in my life? anyhow, i must dash...the bed calleth...

Rndaom Thoughts

2008-07-21T14:48:00.000-07:00

Bonjour mis amis (crap village fwench i welcome you with)

How body? My body dey fresh as the morning sun ...ooo- reminds me of that Van Hunt song 'precious as the morning sun'! what a bad first year song... reminds me of my room in 1st year at uni...memories...dont ask me why i was listening to baby making song in my room- alone- nothing sordid jor- its just the only time i can get a bit emotional and really think before people start looking at me just cos they thing that i have evolved to have emotions...

I have been on the path of confusion of recent.

I realised that I am in many ways a chicken...not in the 'kpaaa kpaaaa' kind of way but the courageous kind of way- I have never bitten the bullet- im too scared my teeth will crack from the metal...

Well im working and im happy with my job...God is amazing and i need to look to him...

I have realised a few things about myself these last few weeks well hopefully, im still anon so here goes...

* i get mad at people and i let it all rip (not fart) but i get sooo mad! like i want to slap them so hard they curl up in a ball and think about their life...

*I find it very easy to push people away...when i say away..i dont mean stop talking to me o- this one na the one where I dey make someone think of emigrating to anoda country o! somewhere like Mongolia... or Laos!

* Im not sure if i have evolved into this very good rude,sarcastic person who doesnt care about what people think about her...the way i see it, people will always talk and will want to talk about you so might as well just ignore everyone.

* Every guy that has tried the treacherous road to Vindis heart has been burnt by either the nonchalance or the sarcasm... and thats in small doses...
Now, i am in no way regretting this cos in the end they end up having flaws of some sort...so everythign maps out...but i just think, if i wasnt so...errr...'vindi like' would anything remotely fruitful have developed from these 'things'? well that is what i keep asking myself... but in the platonic sense...

*I have realised that I am damaged- through no fault of my own...i mean a part of me wants to blame myself cos i could easily have not gone to sit on his lap but i cant help but almost break down and cry... so after i was hmm how do i say it without sounding like it didnt affect me cos it is soo faaaking evident it has...well i suppose the longer i hide it, the worse it get...but what am i supposed to do? there isnt a 'oh i was touched up when i was young and this is how you deal with it' so I suppose ill just have to learn...innit!

*i have come to reaise that the only people i trust after the incident is my dad and my bro- and both of them are solid character...ok my bro likes babes...cos he too is fine..(runs in the fam...we get it from God...dont hate)

*anyhow, i sorta understand myself well enough now to know who and what God is going to provide for me( i was gonna say who i want but you dont usually get what you want but what God wants for you...which is ALWAYS better!!!)

*So now i realise that I dont really trust guys...i will pretend for only so long...up until the 'intimate' stage...which is when i zone out and act like amnesia soemhow grabbed me by the neck and shook alll the neutron or whatever out of me!

* Its quite straightforward as to why i dont trust them really...You might be saying 'well vubdi, you gott agive em a chance...' err i did, and they blew it... yes, they are not all the same but if you have been burnt by a flame... thats not the first place you would consider going back to right?

* Its not like ive gone all le-le on y'all- Slater is e-proof of that- lol...dont find babes attractive...makeup shoes, accessories...long... men just wear a shirt, avec corduroy pants and a mad pair of Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and we are good to go...if they want, they can throw in a cravat if they are feeling funky fresh and all but im even starting to see that whole, boujie look as a bit dated sef...

*lol, naija guys...kai...they are serial cloners mehn!!!
This is the list so far of the major fads... from when i was say 15...dont wanna go too far back cos we will be talking bout action man and all that...
so, there were:
-Timbs...kai, you dudes rocked them die!! I remember seeing one do some martix stuvvs and change from wheat to black sef! Really wearing in the shoe... some dudes still rock theirs sha...i dont knock it...lol!! who am i lying to??? kai...because i had a pair(yes had, threw them away cos they were far too heavy to take anywhere...all that posing for what? its like carrying a bag of gari on each foot...no wonder goiz never used to run...and now you all have acquired that slow walk from those shoes...crippling youselves cos of fashion... babes cannot talks sha...i have seen women whose 5 toes are kissing the ground... the whole point of shoes is that your feet (toes included) are to be inside the shoe...the peep toe is not for your four/five toes to pertrude out and scare people jor...

sorry, had to rant...
-the next was the converses...actually, dont know which came first...the converse or the RL shirts... for the sake of avoiding an argument, ill say Cons...
-Kai- one dude used to feel with his cons...and they were only £30!!! AZZZINNN!! Relax mehn..its not that serious! Got mine in the sale...those things had been out since...and now peeps were clocking on like it was the new LV mehn...relax...

- then there was a phase women would flock for DKNY bags...like for real?? i didnt get the hype sha... but i still grabbed me one...

-then there was our friend...REALPH! lol- big ups cracker club mehn...lol!! Realph Lauren stole our money o!! I remeber when it was just the plain polo shirt...i dont know how many of the guys wearing a polo shirt actually knew how to ride a horse (no dirty jokes please) but yeah... that was MAD... I see a few here and there (especially in that kilburn side mehn) kai...

oh but the killer was when every 9ja guy thught they were bobby Valentino in 'Slow down' with that rainbow shirt...it used to make me dizzy o!! Thats how one woh woh of a dude would be trying to halla and all i would be looking at was the dizzy coloured lines... those people tried...£70 for a shirt...you don dey craze right? i mean, im not saying you should shop in Matalan but that kind of stuvvs is not necessary...

-0 then there was Von Dutch- Who remember that? The belt was sometimes ABA made but kai...naija guys tried o!! I remember one 'dude' sef... think it was the second or third time i has seen him (before he started eating for two- the guy done sumo on us mehn)
* memories mehn...Von Dutch...
-then there was vans...they slowly replace cons in the £30 shoes...i was thinking...errr where have you been...since college, all them Emo oyinbo kinds have been rocking them... but anyhow, so thats the story so far...

- with Naija babes, well everyone seems to be a budding fashion designer...Im not knocking it sha...Ives seen some good ones...I remember something at strawberry moons... cant remember what exactly but i remember thinking 'BOUNZZ BOUNZXZZ BOUNZZZZ'- those people tried mehn... I wonder where they are now...cant even remember the name but that fashion party was talked about for at least 2 months and you know naija parties... its like the C11 bus, when one has gone , you know another one is coming! lol!

* but the new crazy, Ed Hardy abi Harvey...i dont even send withfsahion these days... vintage...momsis wardrobe mehn...all the way...its cheap and clean...in fact its free sef!!

* I forgot to add the Gucci monogram shoes phase...not really a phase sha...just for the few dudes... EFFIZZAAYYYY!!!- pointless concept really- difficlut to clean and to environemtnally friendly cos once they were dirty, that was it really so you had to dump them and buy a new pair...

Well this is me. So far...The scared missy stuck in this big city with people who have BIG dreams for her but she doesnt have a clue...I think that was the best thing someone said to me...its the truth... im Worryingly scared of getting married...What if i am disappointed?? like, after all my 20 or so years waiting...for nothing...I can be a christian and say well God has a bigger plan but i am human...I pray God gives me strength... This is probably my biggest dilemma at the mo!

Wel, have to go...need to put on a brave face for the world...Fearless, assertive, sexy vindi here i come...

There is hope

2008-06-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

* Met someone- interesting...So there is hope for 9Ja guys! We thank God!!he is not in any way typical 9ja sturvings! I suppose thats where ive been getting it all wrong- A deep thinker, cute and quite popular sadly (through no fault of his own) but I will overlook the popularity thing...

* Not at all razz... Ive never had a convo with a razzo sha...Before they start im usually like 'Sorry, are you lost...? Do you need to find your way to the underground?'

*I dont really send these days...Every party I have been to in the last few weeks has been RANDOM... Mr SS, I wasnt there either... I just heard about it...heard one of my ex friends was there and I knew it was going to be a juvi kinda thing and I was not meant to be there!

*Last 3 'events' i went to were soooooooooo random...I refer to it as an event cos it was 'eventful'!and i really didnt parrryy!

*The first one was a barbecue...the goiz were pleasant, serving us rice(no, there were no extra spices...i watched them serve thats all)...really well mannered...but their game was not on point... think they might need to drop off by Mr Slaters old blog entries....

*I'm not mad at tin tin for saying im worth £20,000- mumu! When Im earning almost twice that after tax with my new job(another blog sha...)...it really is not your fault... but anyhow, £20,000-£40,000?? you are really not serious...Im not one to put a value on my life cos that is lame but if i had to, compute this, shit face - a Bugatti Veyron, plus a Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead coupe, a Ferrari F612 Scaglietti and BMW M3! Dont test me and my cars... Im a big car fan... When you can get back to me on a value, ill talk to you

*Tin tin, its all love...Just had to get that off my chest.I dont expect you to be able to gage the level of bounzness over a few blogs... but £20000?...lol! You may as well have traded me in for a Ford Fiesta!! Better still a Renault R5!!

* Mr Slater, I have vexed for you finish! Dont know where youve been or your excuse. If its not school, its a babe- shes probably worth it sooo just give it a shot!! Look at me giving advise...need to take a bit of my own sef...

*LOL at going to A-Hall...so the search continues: profile is as follows
-Relatively popular
- Living in Canada
-Probably schooled in Jand
-North West Londres Moves
- aged 21-25
-Funny (dont get excited jor...)

Not doing bad am I?- lol!Looks like you have a stalker on your hands...

So that Means you know Miss P...or have at least 100 mutual friends...

*Mr Sherfield (stalker...) hows the project coming along?? you still think I dont know you eh? lol!

*and dont hate on A-hall peeps...Its not your fault...hehehe- What school did you go to sef? Govt secondary school abi? dont worry,noone is perfect! lol!!- adesoye peeps are a fruit bowl sha...some good, some bad, some butters!!! Swagger is not OTT like the lagos schools but its there and its real (backed up by a bit of popsis money)- some people who shall remain nameless...Shady Lady tried to hook a sister up with one and well, dude couldnt step up to the challenge!

*I did an analysis of my life (yeah, Im in that reflective mode)...I have a lot of good friends. Probably cos I know that im bound to be disappointed on the way... which leads me to another point...maybe i need more than one guy...cos according to my hypothesis...they will disappoint... SO i need 2 or more abi??...dont knock it!! I doubt i have the heart to be that cruel and selfish!!

k, of recent, been having 'ideas' but that will chill...you can go to hengish's blog if you want that type of blog entry...
lemme give yall an idea sha...

lol!- im just playing o! or am i ;-)

anyhooooo... having a bit of a random week sha...think God is showing me that there is hope and all the ones that i see at these parties are really NOT for me... dont think ill be doing the church hopping thing now... might just chill cos there seems to be an influx of koko that i dont think its wise that i start looking when they are looking for me!!

* one of my good friends...not close cos i dont really tell him much...hes always telling me about babes and whatnot but the few times i tell him about a guy, he always vexes...im like, uh okay!! but anyhow, saw him last week and the guy has really buffed up sha... when i saw him i was like 'WORD??' with the biggest smile on my face...but i dont see him like that again mehn!! we have passed that stage of him being a potential...i push far too many buttons of his and i am too much for him...

*He was looking at me one kind...didnt appreciate it...Im NOT his babe, nor one of his possessions!but cos its love, and i know he was scoping babes, its cool- i was doing the same...

*friends always make jokes about me and dude but i dont think so!! I know what buttons to push! And i do it well- he asked me what i thought of him...didnt go to well- he dropped the phone on me!lol!

* Yeah, this is the second time i have been called this... 'too much'...IN WHAT BLOODY SENSE!??? I dont think im too much...Im in no way a diva! ok, i lie...i like to dramatise things but its all for fun sha...

* Went to one parry last week and one dude i went to school with was there. i am familar with his babe...shame im not close enough to EXPOSE the dude about his toasting...NOT ME O!!! he would have been slapped from here to Nasarawa!

anyhow, summer is here...so let the fun begin!

Hope yall are well...

some gist for this week is coming sha... along with a few confessions

Just a quickie-

2008-06-22T15:49:00.001-07:00

hi people,

This post is in bullet points cos i think it will get my message across as opposed to the novel style entries i usually put up!

*Im tired of people!! like really! they just dey vex me too much!

*I saw a few pics of one dude back in the day...kai! i thought i was going to die!! it was sooo funny- The guy looked like ET's twin!hahahahaha- It shocks me that they werent bullied!

* A-Hall peeps invented effizi! yes, i have said it- swagger is on point- minus the 'well known' girls and boys of the school, who are very cheap versions of 'effizi' in my opinion, the average a-hall dude is DECKED- in the clothing sense not in the koko sense! And they have more gentlemanly mannerisms!

*KC boys are really razz! Yeah, shoot me- thats if you can find me! The first line for every sentence is 'dizzz guy mehn' 'u forking bastad'!lol! i have met ENOUGH of them to know- and yes- they must have eaten too much beans in school cos their asses are FAT!! but its cool with me cos 'I....like...BIG butts and i cannot lie, KC boys just cannot hide it- and they are by far the least gentlemanly! maybe its cos they are used to playing with eachother so they dont really know how to treat a woman!lol" i know im gonna get in trouble...

*ISL people are the most chilled out and most reserved people- but they are bright sparks! I always manage to have thoroughly engaging convos with them and they are just so chilled! no effizi, just brains and a good few spoons of humour! Again, very gentlemanly!

*QC babes- hmmm - need to be careful now...lol!- i know there are a fair few here on blogger but how do i say this....? i dont give a flying piece of horse dung! Well for the most part, they are ok. in small doses! I remember when my friend told me her housegirl went to QC! lol! but anyhow, its all good! They are ok, but they too tend to be a bit rough with the man dem-hahah- i suppose its all that frustration and all that estrogen AND NOT ENOUGH TESTOSTERONE!lol!

*please dont vex...Im just playing nau...

but if i ended up marrying a 9ja guy, he would def not have gone to KC!

*Im scared of seeing someone- dont know if they are worth the risk!Im a highly risk averse individual and avoid anything that involves exposure- in the emotional sense! What to do?

*Like really frightened... i just clam up- alcohol doesnt work anymore so ive stopped drinking... i know- my liver and i are bestos now!

* Mr Sherfield has been deported *sob sob*- immigration has taken my stalker! Hope you managed to go to the ball- i had a blast!

*one of my friends is pissing me off- it happens weekly now

*Who went to envy!? I thought it was ok sha...nothing big! just the same people wearing the same slutty clothes and others looking rather demure!

*One babe started gisting with me for a reason i cannot explain but i swear she was a Le Le cos she was really holding my hand and looking into my eyes like one darren brown or something!

*met a cute guys sha...but how short is short- if they are like 4 inches shorter...lol!! i wonder who will be carrying who over the threshold...

*birthday is coming up and im like sshhhiiitttee- i need to get my skates on this marriage thing before all the good ones go!! its like the harrods sale sha- fisrt come...ill start doing the church 'networking' rounds as of 3 weeks before my birthday...lol! so look out for vindi...il be in a church near you!

Well gorra go...

Ciao

my 50th Birthday!!Night of the KOKO part deux

2008-06-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

Its my 50th Birthday!! WWHOOP WHOOP- have a bottle of vintage Moet champagne on me- ok not on me but you grab sha!!

So this night of the koko right- It was rather interesting-

I have been a bit of a social butterfly of recent...of course I have seen the usual social moths (We all know them- the usual suspects- the ones that you want to wack with your newspaper cos they always want to be in the limelight...hence the term social moth- and the arent too attractive either but thats another blog altogether)

So I went out last weekend expecting nothing really- just to go out and have a laugh-

I was looking dangerous...lol...I remember seeing 'A'- this dude that likes to bone way too much- good thing hes got rid of the stunners- not that he looks any better but that stunners thing was a safety hazard invented by ghetto people- trust ghetto peeps to come up with something that daft...that being said, I still sang the song...

So the parry...

Did the naomi catwalk into the building- well my version anyway so you can expect less casualties (you know babe is rather brutal and uses anything as a weapon)- So i walked through now got one drink- this led to two and that went the night- but one thing about me when i shack is that i maintain! Its not about being caught staggering out of a club (those 1st year days are well over mehn)...
So I met someone but its rather complicated...as usual- no girlfriend, no ashewo eyes, nothing like that...

Well basically, Ola tried to hook me up with Kola but Vindi didnt like the whole match.com moves so she got a bit uncomfortable and got a little shy and forgot about it... meanwhile, a few months later, Vindi was in the clurb and now Ola has another friend...you know the rest...

I was 'told off' (whatever) cos I didnt seem to interested!- That pissed me off cos what the heck was I supposed to do? Roll over and straddle him??? Sorry but I am not some ghetto ass chick yeah... and also, I am not that forward so if dude really was interested, HE could have made more of an effort mehn...

I fogot how pizzed off I was when I heard that! How interested is interested? Some people just want an easy ride and I am the last person to give a dude that- especially the touts that are rife in our society today...allow it men! On a real though...Im far too bounz to be angry about it- but I hate it when people have misunderstood me! It winds me up- moving on.......

And now in my 'emotional life'- hehehehehehehe- I find it funny cos Im not very emotional but of recent people have just been disappointing me and I just think 'Sod you'- so I have started crying as a hobby- not really- Things are just getting to me sha... You know when you start thinking 'whats the point?' yeah, thats where im at- I cannot be bothered with some of my friends cos I think they are acting like ashewos- the other ones take me for granted... Like the reliable one that will take poo- I am naturally one to go the extra mile for my firends- thats just how I am...I get it from my mom but where now I realise that certian friends wont do the same, i am starting to cut them off... I was even on the bus today (266 if you really want to know)and i thought to myself. if i had kids, which one of my friends would i leave them with? and thats how i deduced my true friends...lol- looks like my phone book will be getting freer- more room for the toasters right!

Oh and how could I forget the gari song- this is off the top of my head- its a remix of noone like you by psquare-

Gari eh eh eh eh eh, Gari eh eh eh eh eh x2
noone like you-one like you...
Ijebu, how I love you,

It is still work in progress-lol!! Miss P- its not just you that should stick to the books abi?
Miss P- so how far witht hat shirt sef ehn?ill email my addy for you ok?I know ur in the states but im sure if and when you come over to Jand we can meet at the 02 centre- im sure you know where that is- even people in nige who have never been to Jand know where it is!

Anyhow, I have been seeking God on a few things and getting married is one of them (I know right- babes are really getting old)... Its not that i desperately want to get married- I know i am going to but I want God to mould me( I said God not the hubby- take note people)...like i was saying, I want God to mould me so that I am prepared and perfect for my husband...- Cos i can be stubborn, dismissive, brutal and annoyingly sarcastic so I need to tame the beast...

Like before I would think to myself, 'am I ready for the whole relationship lark'? and the honest truth is that Im not- I dont want to rush into anything like many of my peers have and have ended up doing- Ive never been a friend of peer pressure! I wont lie and say I have not been tempted but I have never been tempted on the horizontal sha...

So, I think Im finally ready but there is only one problem, Who do i give the first chance to? I am seeking God for that too. Since I was in my early teens, I made a conscious effort to not befriend bounz guys- bounz girl+bounz guy= potential fireworks! I suppose its out of respect for my future partner- I dont think I have lost out cos I know some babes who just like to befriend guys for their ego (one of my friends who will remain nameless) only for the guy to now start toasting or misyarning...allow it mehn-

I have always been the voice of reason for my friends...not anymore- they should look to God jor- I dont know how God does it sha- people constantly disappointing and knowing that God's Son died for us- i am included in the people who constantly disappoint but I dont want to...-

I have waited this long so whats a few more months?(was gonna say years but mehn, clock dey tick fast o)...

So this is one of my rather dryer posts sha- ma binu- im having one of those weeks, you know-

And as it has become custom these days, a note to Mr SS- You are persistent sha!! crikey! We will see... I swear, if you are one juvi first year, i will drag you from Bessemer through queens lawn to the lib where i will flog you righteously! Remember JS1? That was a doddle compared to the excruciating pain you will go through! lol!im playing -

Tintin- you want to know how bounz i am also abi? lol! dont worry- summer is here and there are parties and bbqs gallore to go to- is it neasden, hendon, Edware, Dollis Hill,Movida and what not...dont worry- like i said, keep your eyes peeled like orange skin...

So, odabo my peeps- luv you like home cooked food!ciao

The night of koko!

2008-06-01T05:25:00.000-07:00

So I ventured out of my abode yesterday to see what was going on in the real world!

WOW!! The toasters have really missed me...like for realzzz... I have not been toasted like that in my life... then again- i was looking stupidly bounz... myself cannot put it to words but sheeet- We thank God... I dont know how or why but everything was on point- as usual!!

I miss y'all!! Mr sherfield- show yourself!! Need to go.. this is probably my shortest post ever but ill go into detail about the toasters soonest...

ciao...

I was tagged but ive forgotten the rules- sue me

2008-05-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

So I was tagged by Mr Casanova of the moment- tininu... Teeennk you very munnnsh!!

before i forget, thanks for the comments last week...felt motivated to go on- Sherfield stalker- I see you!

I cannot for the life of me remember much of it and i cannot be bothered to go and start sifting through his essay style blogs- allow!! I leave the essays for academia!

Anyhow, if y'all are not member of the crackers club on FB yall need to be... for gerrit- these dudes smoke gari all day every day (or for the moment rice krispies)- I dont think they are nutters per se... Hit me up when you are famous oputu/beej/dbanj/REEEaaaalph

Anyhow, back to being tagged. I was gonna write an essay about being tagged and what it meant and how it affected me but i thought i dont want to bore you into a coma...

anyhow, 6 quirky things about me- Lawd- this is gonna be boring- If i wrote about gari but that is bait!

DISCLAIMER**i am not, I repeat NOT quirky- kini quirky sef? weird but cool abi wetin?

I dont think these are quirky but these are stuvvs that makes me different
so here goes-
1) I love the following on goiz- suede russell and bromley shoes- take your pic navy blue or brown- you can have the leather ones so long as its got the tassels- BRRAP!! teww mad! that was one- the others are a goiz with a heptagon face(7 sides- not 8- dont want him to look like a ball of eba! and not 4 cos thats boring- not three cos that is deformed! what else? clean finger nails, a car( preferred but by no means essential) black like dudu oshun and a smile that would make sensodyne pronamel proud!- I dont think its quirky, i am just very particular- please dont start pulling these fashion moves- it is only for the serious people who actually GET mens fashion!
But i hate guys with really grand cars at this tender age- effizi is soooo passe!!- when we are rolling in it and collecting mad douche from corporate stuvvs or are self made people then yes but for now? it shows you dont know the value of money which is why babes follow you like flies to shit homie!

2) I am a sarcastic little minx! Stone yourself if you dont undertand my sarcasm- its not my fault you were born with 2 brain cells.I just like being sarcastic- i get it from both my parents who are just great! I remember one time when momsi said 'well done' to me after i swept the kitchen floor- i thought she was being sarcastic cos thats what she says when we have done something a little too retarded for her liking!! but that day, kai- that 10 year old brain was KONFUSED MEN!!
They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit- but you that person was a BILLY NO MATES!- I wont go as far as to say it makes the world go round cos ill have my physics comrades to answer to but it really does lighten the mood- ie some guy chats you up and youre like 'yah. because that was funny!' and then you start laughing cos you kept a straingt face for so long!!- Sarcasm is majorly quirky!

3) I have issues with goiz- especially ones with those thick 1980s NHS glasses with the off creme/caramel lens and frame(actually, the one that tried to get into the promised land cos I was ouddie wore glasses- Saw his skank ass with his girlfriend feeling like one oga- more like ogre but anyhow...- dickhead- for want of a better word...on wards and definately upwards...

4) I used to be very timid, coy, shy, easily embarrouszzed!! -EVERYTHING- i still am depending on my mood...- i only really feel comfortable when im at home whiling out to queens 'another one bites the dust' or some SNAP! Ive got the power-
I think big gestures are nice but not for me- i start sweating, and breathing heavily (sorta like when youre having withdrawl symptoms of puff puff and suya!)
I cannot bear the thought of being the centre of attention like that- its not in my nature at all

5) I analyze EVERYTHING- from why someone put the plate 1 meter from the sink to why someone gave me a complement in front of someone else...Its not that I dont trust people its cos i really try and understand people- i suppose thats why i know my friends- but funnily enough, my friends dont have the first clue about me- like for realzz- I sometimes do a quick gesture analysis when i first meet someone

I have exceptional game for a babe- When i say GAME i mean GAME- not the whole fronting stuvvs- It follows on from the analysing thing really- I use the information gathered to construct a generic profile for that category of species- i.e. 9ja men from festac, 9ja guys from Ikoyi,9ja guys from Kaduna, 9ja guys from Port Harcourt... 9ja men with two tone crocodile shoes(GAY!!)- leave that stuvvs to Koffi Olamides crew men!That is not our portion...

This week we should keep hengish in our thoughts as she follows the STRAIGHT AND NARROW!! Koko is a NONO!!
Tininu- there is freedom in forgiveness- Please allow the 9ja babes that do 0800-koko-runz-(calls charged at premium rate-£2.50 per minute for the first 2 minutes and £5 there after)-

MISS PEARSE REFUSES TO UPDATE- When i start throwing bones from the goat meat pepper soup then you will know...

So a week til the end of the koko drought- wat to do- get the hurr done?hmmmm, get a pedicure...hmmm- find some exotic jungle fever stuvvs like tininu? tempting but those ones dont know how to shower with proper go slow traffic sponge and they are too hairy- hair in their nose, hair in their ear, hair on their back...im surprised they dont have hair in their palm!!! and dem dey say its us wey look like monkey- they musta discovered everything but a mirror when they made up that theory!!

SO to bed i go- ALONE HENGISH- no human beings, no electronics, notinzzz...

and so to bed...

3 weeks til the end of the koko drought!!

2008-05-06T16:19:00.000-07:00

So i decided to go to brent cross today because i really needed to get some sort of fasheen fix and i came home with nothing!!I sorta got over HIM this weekend- some of my mates at church sat me down, picked my brains til I was orange and then decided I was sane enough to contribute to the dilemmas going on in other peoples lives!!

So i went to brent cross- sitting on the 189(yeah, sue me- not the most glam of ways to enter BX but last i checked, money did not grow on the pear tree in the garden, nor in the rosemary bush...) -Before I forget, i found narrings so i have decided to make my own clothes!! instead of looking for a fasheen fix...why not make your own fasheen fix and if it cocks up- itll be more fun!!

Anyho, so Im over HIM right? Yes I AM!!So I am on the bus minding my own business and then this 9ja woman brings out the this day style magazine...so me with my elongated eyes stare like a mofo- Who do i bloody see in the mag though...only the guys bloody sister!Dont ask...long story but it was his sister...I was like yeah...wallever...im over that...

Then in brent cross now..trying to buy some shoes in russell and bromley for this wedding this saturday( trying to ease the pressures of the koko drought) and there was another reminder- the guys brother in law(to be) Its good i know faces but sometimes it just doesnt help me...

Anyhow, I realised this weekend that the koko drought has been self inflicted!!I have closed my eyes and therefore have not seen- now my eyes are open and I am like okkkaaayyyy!!

So there is this dude- i dont find him attractive and I really dont fancy him- my friends from around the way(not my jammo ones sha) are like hes my type- but what the heck is my type?? anyhow, i see what they mean...he actually is my type- minus the fact that he didnt go to uni and he does not work in the city!!AARRRGGHH- i always planned on marrying an investment wanker( most of them are so this is my new title for them- that being said, most of my friends are so i better hush)

so I see both his sister and his future brother in law(if and when he proposes to her) in brent cross and i dont trip cos usually i would be like 'shiii iiiittttt' what if i see him?? least im looking good but what if i see him???NOOOO this is not happenning to me!!' that is usually the thought process i have when it comes to him- but we are over that now...

I remember in the summer when i saw 2 of his friends in south london(dont ask me what i was doing there) as soon as i saw them, i got a migrane- no joke- if that isnt a sign that the guy is bad news i dont know what is...now i understand the good girls and bad boys theory

2 things i need to tell you about before i forget...
- I am over him- My friend told me about how its my subconscious only wanting him cos i cant have him as he has a girlfriend!!and it all boils down to intimacy...that is another entry altogether my frennn

-The second one is that I had a dream about this guy- the one i said i dont like- and i dont like him- for many reasons-
He is London boy- we will call him Sunny- if you guess his name ill give you a 1kg bag of Ijebu gari-and you know the stuvvs dont come cheap!!
He is perfect height, dark, nice legs,ok muscles and very very very sexy swagger but I just dont find him attractive...
HE IS JAMMO!!!NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What am i gonna doooo???

So i had a dream about him and in the dream all he said was 'Vindi come with me...or something like that...and in the dream i remember thinking 'aww, i feel sooo warm and googly inside(not in that way Hengish-WELCOMMZZ BAC BTW) and how I liked the fact that he was assertive and domineering- Im one of those people that finds it easy to dominate if given the opportunity otherwise I get very VERY SHY( yes Mr Sherfield- you were right) but its not obvious!

So that was the dream and now im thinking 'i still dont like him' we all went out yesterday and I asked hm a question only to be blanked- RUDE- i suppose he didnt hear me cos i went into VSM-vindi shy mode-

my main point is that- I dont fancy him why cant I just like single, hot, men- nigerian men that i am attracted to...I dont even know him- we have several mutual friends but i dont even want to go there...

So the plan is to not get ahead of myself- just cos i had a dream about him does not mean anything- koko drought playing tricks on a girls mind!!mean- as hengish said 'the devil is a liar-say no!'

two songs for you for the next few days...when you hear this think of me...

Computer love by zap and roger- if you know about this YOU ARE ON A SERIOUS MUSIC TING

Ace of base- I saw the sign and all that she wants

The weather is tooo mad at the mo...have to urge to get naked!not really-

So...any luck with using those gari sayings?lolz

ciao

Apple bottom jeans, boots with the furr...I have neither cos my ass can fit perfectly well into Gap jeans & Im not razz to commit such a FURR PAS-lol

2008-05-02T12:34:00.001-07:00

HIIII EVERYONE!!! Tis I, QUEEN VINDI- abeg, who dash?? Its vindi'gyal!hahaha- im d'vindi!!that was razz I know...not the best way to start...

Id like to say a few thank yous for a few people who have made my week that little bit more garilicious!- sue me im razz
Undressed polaroid has won for the number of blog entries you can have in one week- not only is the gist sweet, but its also articulate...so we shall name undressed 'articulately sweet'... Shes been on the circuit longer than I have and i was gonna be really clever and throw as many adjectives at her as i could but if i summed it up as BOUNZ you would get what i mean so ill stick to bounz...I have not had the time to go through the archive of entries but they are very nice-
Thanks for inspiring me to follow the long and skinny path- size zero before summer o! or as near as i can get!

and de hoda pesin I would like to do(yes, do) vott of tens for is uncle broda tininu!!Oga, from de top of de himperial library- i salute you...not once, not twice, not even tree times...but a whole 4 times-

Seeing as yall loved my gari for thought so much (no, im not biggin myself up) I thought I would give you guys something to do- as some of y'all are in the library and odas jus dey collect douche(via correct means o-none of that google runz o)

Anyhow, I want you guys to see how many times you can write, say, mime, think of the following statements:
*thats just the way the gari crumbles
*Gari for thought
*Please, for the love of gari...(continue sentence)

If you manage to get more sayings involving gari, please dont hesitate to add o!! you know we can never have too much gari ehn!!

MY RANT TODAY!!!!
People stink on the train!! err man!!- see how my chanel allure just disappeared into stinky thin air!!lol!! And why do I always have to be next to the fat guy!! i dont mind fat babes-not in the non platonic sense but as friends...shitteee im diggin myself a hole....moving on- my point is that mammoth like babes are cleaner than mommoth like males-

And what is up with halitosis??!!Awon curry people didnt brush his teeth and now ran on the train and was breathing inside my body- i felt sooo dirty-all that stale naan bread and chick peas and pilau rice!! its like some people baff in madras and moisturise in a freakin tikka masala!! but then again when you head down to abbey wood sides( sorry guys but i gotta say this- AND DONT ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING IN SOUTH EAST LONDON-LONGEST OF STORIES...but you know me...ill tell you in good time) anyhow... when you get to Abeey Wood, kai...take your pick...what do you want to smell- efo riro, or is it burukutu,ogogoro, egusi, dried okro, fresh okro, cray fish(me, i dont know WHERE exactly the smell is coming from but i know WHO it is coming from)!!

Oh, im an idiot by the way- i know i never say this but i really am a (mu)2!! i went to go and do something stupid on facebook...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GIRL!!!??
Miss Pearse(didnt think i have forgotten you right?) you said the koko drought would start to ease when summer started to come...well its more or less summer in jand(you know what the weather is like in this country...summer is but a week(if that even)!!

anyhow, the stupid thing i did was add HIM on facebook... you know when God tells you to forgerrit and you because what if just doesnt do it, you send yourslf to facebook and start doing sillyness... Im SOOOOO unbelieveable mad with myself... I think i deserve a royal stoning of common sense and logic!!I used to be indestructible now im just vindi wishing what if... oh whatever...lemme actually give you the story of how i ended up adding him...
So i went onto facebook and i told myself to face my demons- shebi its God that created the devil and we as children of God should not be afraid of anything on this earth apart from God... anyhow... following a funny week with my friends disappointing me i thought, hes not that bad. least i know hes a conniving cheat with sexy eyes- what is the harm? after toying with the idea of adding him... I did it...not a big deal for you, but for me...I nearly died-like for reals...I wanted to rip my heart out, flog it and leave it somewhere in darfur to dry up cos men- anything is better than the feeling of losing!! OH LORD forgive me!

Then I said, im not gonna look at his pictures...that only lasted a day...then i thought 'yea, wallever...i wont even fancy him again' thats how the buffness bit me in my ass- i still cant sit down...

moving on...well, ill tell you this...i will not be writing on his wall and i WILL NOT I REPEAT NOT be writing him a blog entry length message on facebook-I PRAy

VINDI, HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND- STEP AWAY FROM THIS KOKO!!!

Anyhow, this is for you hengish... i saw this guy and i thought of someone who is sadly quite familiar- but the one we 'know' is the darfur striken version of the guy below- harsh?perhaps...

the next blog is dedicated to all of us who learnt how to dance in the 90's!! get ready for some ace of base, snap, culture beat and corona(not the beer nor the school) so get ready to shake your nyash(like tintin was doing when she saw Mr wahala drama and kissed him)!! Ys, i was a late developer...was born in the 80s but learned to dance in the 90's- when i say dance i mean, JAM!!

guys this is a quick one sorry but its exam time...who has time to be reading other peoples blogs like their degree depends on it(minus me of course!)

so guys before i go, i need help with a few things- you see how people have people on their blog roll right?? well vindi is bush (what kind of blog entry is this? ive never hurled so mush abuse at myself in one blog) I dont know how to add people so i have to now be clicking and clicking... computer are not for me...and that thing where you do that think where you like a word to a website...oh goodness...see how im exposing my bushness!! kish! I am finished!! i know slater you are gonna rain abuse on me so i have my pagoda shaped umbrella ready for you!! (i cant link it so ur gonna have to google it sha if you dont know what a pagoda shaped umbrella is)

So peoples... for the next session vith vindi(get your head out of the derry marina warrer) get your feet ready...we are gonna be doing some danzing o! Im talking about the 'aunty spray me' dancing o!! so make sure you have enough space in your room to to the cabbage and hammer time and the bogul, and the butterfly(not the one on one leg or is it knee sef?)

k ma peoples... until then i leave you with this...

and you are a G(yes i said it, G!! if you know the lyrics to this jam...

hint.. 'work the body, work work the body, slow down gurl you bout to hurt somebody'- me and my sister still jam like 7 year olds in the living room when shes at home!!

enjoy and do not mock!!big willy styllleee!!that sounds soooooo worng on soooo many levels(ok just one level but its sha nasty!!)

adios amigo...

everyone has left me

2008-04-23T17:04:00.000-07:00

so my girl Hengish has left de building... I actually feel a tad sad...why you gonna up and leave me nau... how you gona act like that...
and slater... you keep walking in and outta my life... its not fair...lol!! dont mind babes- lack of sleep abi wetin...i dunno to be honest but i need to shill...

Tin tin, i dey o!! im just dere chillin... mr sherfield...you dont want to finish this year or something... abeg my fren concentrate on your books joh...ill still be blogging when you firrish ezams!!

So whats been gwaning in b-town??minus people being sucked away by the Youth corp(NO names mentioned here HENGISH! I will miss the both of you sha... random jokes and trips... and slater J, i hope you find your Iyawo- and she better be bounzer than me...ok, thats impossible... she better be fine sha....

so whats been gwaning with me(sorry guys, dont mind me. ihave been linkin up with my jammo friends of old) dont worry sha..i wont get all d'banj on you...they will continue to call me Vindi and not vindi'gyal!lol!!that would be jokes though...

K, i have gone on a blitz on my phone just screening calls and everything...babes need their space now... i cant take it any more... human beings just disappoint you constantly... and then you come home for peace and quiet and its like im fighting another battle...there have been numerous times when i have thought... eff it!! lemme just break down so peeps can see that babes are hurting but to be honest... it wont change them so ill keep the tears for something more serious...

oh and i saw(not met) this 9ja dude who was in jand but moved to Yankee sides and now came back... peeps used to go on that the guy was fine but cos your babe is onto bounzer things, i thought allow this dude... one milki half baked looking stuvvs and im just more on the espresso tip you get me!!chocolate thunder and all dat men...

Gosh, juvi runs has killed it... gist spread that juvi runs was gonna ask me out on vals day... i said WORD??? SINZZZEE WHEN?? i was laffing...eyy yaaa... spoke to him today sha and he was now telling me 'i have a lot of things planned for you this summer' i said 'who?? this guy... you know aunty is very busy nau...' i was thinking to myself..this is not someone i can imagine myself being with!AT ALL!! as in i just cant- hes one of those 9ja 9ja boys brought up in inner city london with awon 'get me...innit dudes..' i was looking for the refined romantic you know?? someone who would make rice for me... rub my back and all that... hes very nice but i think id mother him too much... i do it now... i dont want to break it to the dude so ill start screening his calls as well o!! i dont need a stalker men... that is not bounz!!

I miss the days when your friends didnt bitch about you... girls like to chat too much... CLOSE YOU BIG FREAKING MOUTH YOU MOUSSE!!why do women talk so much.?? just bitching up and down the place... and i love the way human beings have expectations and try to take the piss because they know you are a very understanding person... there is taking the piss and then there is shitting in someones compound!! that is straight up showing no regard for that person...
If you know someone would not treat you in this way, why do you treat them in that way??

gari for thought!!!

My song at this moment in time is:

'your mother may let you down, you friends may let you donw but Jesus never fails....Jesus never fails, Jesus never fails, Jesus never fail...Jesus never fails...'

As you may be able to tell, im kind of mad and im a very subdued person when im mad... i get soo calm my icecream doesnt melt... my breath makes ice blocks!!

ok guys... Omo Vindi need sleep o!! O-da-boh!!
ciao!

De KOKO DROUGHT

2008-04-04T05:42:00.000-07:00

Ok, as much as im not the biggest fan of D'Banj and his no long ting-
hehehe- just thought of a joke...
***i must warn you, ive got a lot on my plate at the mo so this may not be the funniest thing in the world but its one of 'my' jokes so please allow...

so heres the scene...
D'banj is in bed after just gbenshing one babe(which i hope he doesnt do cos doing stuvvs out of wedlock is a nono) he asks the babe
' so how was my anakonda(dut dudu dudu)?'
the babe politely smiled, looked down and said
'it was no long ting'!!lol!! talking of D'banj, i came across this...im not sure if im allowed to do this but the shit is on Youtube and so im assuming its allowed now....
here it is...

i nearly died when i saw this... for real...some people just have that talent of making people laff!!big ups to this guy- hes gonna be big!!i only knew this chap for a while but damn- had i known he was this much jokes, i wouldnt have lost contact-nice nigerian lad! file, im d'banj!!slater, you may know this chap...

this is another one that made me break the chair at home when i fell off it- im not fat- just big boned-lol!! not really, im far from it!! that chair was on its last legs anyway and was a health hazard since one lef became a bit wobbly...

So basically, this entry is about the koko drought...well its not a koko drought as such cos guys are giving me wahala. this is one guy to me 'abeg vindi, what this your long tins about sef? i already agreed that we dont have to do the stuvvs...why are you keeping goiz wairing'- i was like thinking in my head ' its not a case of we dont have to do the stuvvs..its more a case of WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO THE STUVVS'- mumu!! its all about attention to detail- tin tin, im adding that as a skill in my own CV-

I dont know what it is, the ones in the city think they are too nice cos the work for Goldman, JPM,MorganS, Hsbc, or whatever.... puh lease, allow the snobbish attitude...and the ones in uni have babes(yes, i found out that my dear Mufasa of LSE has a babe! such is life eh? even saw him at the LSE lib the other day (dont ask me what i was doing there...my friend dragged me...i couldnt say no with the possibility of seeing awon fine stuvvs)ok not all of them but the ones im feeling sha...moving on...

So im looking for the one, Le uno, my black knight, the one with the more ripples than an ocean, more wit than steven fry(y'all need to know about this chap- he is top notch british stuvvs- sadly he is gay but when he sees me he will be converted)

I dont want to be wasting my time chilling and going out with one guy who im not totally feeling just cos of the marriage bug thats going abound at the mo!! im bigger than that!! also, i bumped into someone from my past yesterday or today,or the day before sef- i cant remember now but after i saw him, my heart jumped and i thought,'blooming heck, i aint had that feeling in a while' the one that makes you sit up a little and just feel like acting like an intellectual goon! but anyhow, im waiting for the one that brings out that intellectual goon in me so that i can act a fool and make intelligent convo!!

When i say act a fool, i mean it- i really dont send sometimes- one time i acted like a baboon in the 02 centre- ok i was about 17 then but at that age, everyone used to go there wearing make up and wearing their maddest baffs- me, i was always looking on point( i was raised the hovis way, what can i say) so lookin bounz didnt even come easy- it was and still is the only default setting i have( to God be the glory)

Anyhow, so i need help from my blog community, how to land so serious intelligent koko!! please, im not talking of quick stuvvs o- i just need to holler on FB to some of my toasters if thats what im after- i want someone who is refreshing, clean shaven and wears suede loafers and chinos,
Someone who someday would go halfs on buying me manolos,
someone that can act a proper fool and doesnt care
someone that knows how to comb their nappy hair

(I said half cos relationships are partnerships and seeing as he is not getting gonna be getting stuvvs in return, theres no need to make him pay for it all- at the end, shebi its gonna be on my feet!!

Ive started with my nonsense poem writing again...
sorry but my entries are done on the spur of the moment, no time to edit and save and do spelling and shelling check!!anyhows, i am de number one grenade sheller!

Everyone seems to be ok on blogger tho... have a fab weekend...im off to investigate a lead i have on this chap i know who is a friend of a friends brother...we will see...hes not fine or anything but we are now looking deeper for the joker as opposed to the knobhead....
halla!!

it cut deep

2008-03-19T06:55:00.000-07:00

it cut deep when you didnt call
it cut deep When you undermined my intelligence
it cut deep because you didnt want to understand
it cut deep when you constantly tried to provoke me
it cut deep When you tried to intimidate me
it cut deep when you told her and not me
it cut deep when you held her and not me
it cut deep When you lied
it cut deep When I lied
it cut deep because i wanted to trust you

After all my feelings of resentment for them,

when you died Jesus, the only thing that cut deep was the sword on your side.

happy easter everyone

Im trying to become a poet!! not so good- but this is my first nau- so allow babes!!
but yeah, all my friends keep talking of marriage- for goodness sake we just left uni and now you want to get married? chick allow- have you heard of MORGAGE?? damn!! take it easy- im wayyyy too fresh to be looking for my husband! he will find me when he is good and ready. im not going to look for him and then find him with another woman! abeg jo. some people need to seriosly chillax, take a chill pill( prescribed o), breathe stretch shake, let it go, let go of the 'lady of the rings' syndrome! its just not bounz o! Im still fresh to def so imma be on my grind- not like an ashi babe but you grab sha!! need someone to sew me something- i just had the maddest design in my head!! any volunteers?

oh yeah, Slater- think 'Ash Tomazzzz' still no bells ringing!?
heglish! na wa for you o!! please dont bring back a variant strain of the marriage virus o!please, im dying here as it is!

are you a gladiator?

2008-03-06T13:10:00.000-08:00

Anyhow, so a fair amount has gone on since i came here- some i cannot blog about cos its a bit too personal but is all good and i dont wanna blow my cover- you get me!!!ok, i didnt get married or anything!

Talking of marriage, I think ive been hit by the marriage bug- i started listening to Van Hunt and other gay songs! im looking at guys thinking 'hes alright, wonder what hed look like in about 40 years'- some people age better than others...

The KOKO Drought as i mentioned in my previous blog is still in full effect- but today when i was at baker street, one dude walked past me and his aftershave just made me wanna barf!so the koko drought seems to be selective as to who im drawn to- which means that my subconscious is telling me that there is no need to be desperado because there is no koko famine!!yay!!- but true say(sorry, the London girl in me just popped out ot say 'HI')...anyhow, as i was saying before i was rudely interrupted by myself, true say all the guys that i have been smelling- tall and dwarf- have been rather bounz...

So my mission for everyone this week is this...can you gage how good looking a guy is by the way he smells- lets try this ladies- i know for me a guy would know i was hot stuvvs- ok maybe not yesterday when i ran out of the house without putting on deodorant but that aside...Id be rather hot-

so ladies, the task this weekend is to SMELL FOR HOTNESS.. if you do have any results, success or failure, let me know- and remember- NO PEEKING!! dont look before you smell- its like potentially gone off jollof rice which you have been dying to eat and you know allowance doesnt drop til next week!!

I think i had trapped wind on monday!but im not sure- i did my first fart in the office tho- i know that is skank but i refuse to die because of methane!-vulgar? i know!
So Ive decided to see HIM again!!But i know that i have a better outlook to the whole situation- im not mad anymore that i allowed him to waste my time( cos thats what happens when you welcome someone into your life who is already with someone) but my saving grace has been God's protection over me- lie lie, there were numerous times when i could have pounced on the guy but because i am so stubborn and have A LOT of self control i just allowed it- i didnt even kiss him!!yes i know, i deserve a pat on the back...

slater j, Im currently discussing with my agents in the field as to who you are- i will find out who you are Mr GQ!!

And my butter cup of IC has ouddied to nige!!thank you very mush missy- ya know who you are!! stop wearing gele and come back here to cash cold with us!

Ok, so i met someone a few weekends back, it was in a club so i just ignored the guy sha-
So heres Vindi, up in the club- may i just add that my legs are soo dry that they are itching me!!KAI!!
so back to vindi in the club!!there i was, looking too crazy- honestly, i will not lie to you- i was looking amazing- but to God be the glory- So i come in, looking majorly lost as i came in by myself so i was looking for a bunch of 9ja people- y'all know how hard it is to look for dudu peeps in a club- it like looking for a needle in a haystack- ok im just playing- im not exactly one with yellow paw paw skin but anyho, i found one of my friends...so as i see her, i notice this rather familiar manly structure next to her- and im like 'i swear if it is HIM i will die- no, actually, ill leave the club and carry myself on the jubilee line back to swiss cottage!!' i walk hesitantly towards what can only be described as a structure and i look closer and realise that IT WASNT HIM!!!YAY!! But this one is still fine-
Seeing as i was chilling with the more refined, centered,'i dont need to be jumping on chairs to pop champagne to get attention'...that kinda crowd- it was funny cos you would think that the group i was with would be boring but far from it!!!they were happy cool peeps who wanted to go out and have a laugh!!

ok so the guy was cool, he spoke good english( which these days is rare- dont act like you dont know- we all know one mumu or another that drives a stupidly expensive car but cannot rub two sentences together)

Anyhow, so I think Ill end up marrying a 9ja-man...nothing wrong with it but I thought God had something better planned for me!!only joking- truth is thats probably the only type of guy ill respect on this planet as my pops is one!!

So, my plan when i see HIM....DON NOTHING!!- im at the point in my life where i can say that 'he tried his luck and we thank God that I did not succumb' -
I will not even tell you what i had a dream about!! i wanted to shit on myself!!no lie- ok lie- sue me! I had a dream that his current ex was in my house or something and yarning me saying 'you could have been "THE ONE"! my goodness!! imagine if you had that dream- all i said is the devil is a liar and thats is the end of that story...

i need to get a new hobby- like honestly, Food is over rated, so ive stoppe eating- size zero by fore by force...

And my feet smell cos I wear my sneakers(yeah, im american) without socks so with all that bacteria, its bound to smell like the marina!

Oh my days, My lecturer told me today that he wants to recommend me to one of his colleagues at another uni to do a PhD!!a freaking PhD!????what a collection im gonna have when i finish my Post grad!!aargh!!First i get ma certificate from University of London, then, my diploma thingy from imperial and now a PhD???And it is one university that i have never heard of before...i had to ask my lecturer if it was in this country- this is me 'are you sure its not Cornell?'- lol!!the guy (can you imagine im call ing my one and only lecturer 'de guy') anyhow, after this masters in september, im supposed to be shipped of to one university i have never heard of to become an assistant researcher person or another!somebarry wan kill me o!!i dont think my mantle can handle any more trophies!!

sorry this post has basicallly been about me blowing my trumpet and just yarning serious sahara!! im sorry- have work on my mind-

The thing is i had some gist, but i forgot it now- i bet you tomorrow when im on the train ill remember again!!

til next time

My one and only imperial

2008-02-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

this is one of those imperial events that will go down in history!!it was too mad!!

I am currently trying to put a few words for the coordinators- Teeeeeeewwwww FREAKIN MAHHHDDDD!!- see hot guys coming out of my ears- and no razz ones o!!!im too happy right about now- got a few numbers- you know how vindi rolls- Its all about- 'oh my days,my phone is playing up... hav you got the time' 'oh, did yousee that act?that was amazing/dreadful'-take your pick...good work ACS- im so proud to be part of such a mad uni!!im doing ma masters but i feel so alive with the peeps at this uni!!Hengish, where were you?im sure you were one of the babes beefing me- eeezzzokay!!not really- you know i gats soo mush luv for you...

I have got my official first crush- in my adult life that is!!woah- and its one of ours Hengish!!not an Imp but one from across the way- it is sooooooooo true that birds of a feather flock together- saw a beauty at the ACS thing today- as soon as i enter the zone, na so every fine boy now starts scoping babes- eeezzz not ma fault!the joke is that i was not even showing anything- not an inch of leg and not a crust of breast!but dudes were still looking and tryna haller- found out who the dude is, what uni he goes to and all that- but now i need the following
age: im not too fussy but over 23 and im ok.
Sex: not right now. when we are married- im not that type of babe
Location: i dont mind where we live so long as we are together- i sound like a psycho!!lol!!jokes!!- location- just off Bishops avenue would be ok!

so should i tell you his name?naw...Hengish, im almost certain you know the dude- some fine hot stuvvings- he was on stage doing the 'humbo zamezi'thing with the babe that was singing 'i wok had every day..' big guy!!i dont usually do yellow guys(ibo for that matter- its not like a tribalist ting i just happen to fall flat on my face in lust with yourba guys)!!physique-wise, he looked like he could take on a lion- talking of lions, he had this Mufasa look to him- maybe it was the beard stuvvings but it took me back to the lion king- It was cuuuurrraaazzzyyyy!!i was all giddy inside like a mumu- our mutual friend was not around but i was gonna act like my hair got caught onto his velcro so we could start talking but i thought that was a bit much you know!- im a bit crazy sometimes!!but i got his attention so my work was done- As i walked up the stairs, felling like one caliente stuvvings, talking on the phone like im one social butterfly(me, miss billy no mates), he is at the top of the stairs with a camera- i was like damn!!anyhow, i caught him give me the thrice over and i turned round only for the guy to now get all shy- i dont know why guys get all shy and intimidated when a bounz babe now does the 'confronting mating stare' as i like to call it!!- its that stare that says, 'Talk to me, if you dare' in that sultry kinda voice!!

but anyhow, i was told to start poking on FB- and i for one would not recommend that to anyone- i juust think its too impersonal- if you tap them and are now like 'were you in Volar at xmas' guaranteed youll get a better convo that pokin the life out of one another- and face to face flirting is waayyyyyy more fun!!you actually get to touch skin to skin and do the 'beyonce hair flick' hoping one of you pick and drop out doesnt do a meanie and drop out!!

oh and im having a major problem at the moment!!like all of a sudden i got mad when i smell mens perfume!!as in my eyes light up- i think im suffering from 'KOKO DROUGHT'!!!this one nah serious o!!im scared to hug men these days cos i might just pounce on them... but if anyone can guess who this pesin hins den i will dash you one blog that i have been saving!!
So if yall can assist in operation FBI i would be very happy!

happy sunday!!hope yall went to church

FBI

2008-01-29T17:43:00.000-08:00

FBI- Face book Investigations

So i yarned about this dude that was scoping me at the airport on the way to nige right?...anyhow, when i was in my element of joblessness i did some FBI sturves- in both senses of the word- i was loooking through people who i like to class as social humming birds profile and pictures and stumbled across his pic!!sheeet- Hengish...hes very near you o-some ibo sturves like this- refined sturves sef... its not imperial but its part of UofL!!now i can stalk the mofo!!not really- now, its all about tactics- i know the mutual fren but ill let Vindi the female warrior make an appearance. so i jus gorra wait for a parry to drop and voila!!im bettin 8/10 hell be at the Pulse thing sef so ill be looking extra bounz(not like i dont anyway)...
k, lemme stop messin about- i will not stalk him-no matter how fine and modelesque he looks!!he is one of those one youll be like 'Ayy bay bay...ay baybay'!!anyhow this is one of my many strategies for the next few weeks-im not looking fwd to vals day- AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!ill probably be blogging about the importance of being single!lol...being the saddo that i am!!i will refrain from FB that day.
anyhowz...this was a quickie just to let youknow about my movements...
wait sef, i forgot to mention that the dude is a juvi!whoops, musta slipped my mind while i was trippin over the guys physique!I wouldnt mind giving him a medical!
ciao

Onwards and UPWARDS

2008-01-28T16:28:00.000-08:00

Todays song is by M people- moving on up, moving on up, dun dun dun dun dhun...moving on up moving on up...dun dun dun dun dun...cos im moving on up...nothing can stop me...

Does anyone remember ace of base- they were TEEWWWW MAAAAADD!!'all that she wants is another babay, shes gone tomaw but all that she wants is another baybay...dun nun dun nun nun!!!I used to go wild over the funky beats men!!!yall need to youtube that sturrvs!and snaps ive got the power!!

Sorry about the last post- I didnt realize how extensive my french vocabulary was!!whn i say french i mean swearing o)!i truly apologise.I have gotten over the whole situation sha so dont worry, I wont be throwing 'bad wods' at you via your screen...

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement!!much appreciated- rinsola was first so i gotta give her props, Hengish who has prodded me along to blog blog blog!!i like that youve kept to your side of the deal but I am trying to keep up with you...your own one arm thing is sad- that nurse!well we thank God you have both hands to write your blog!keep it up. The paradigm- nicely put!and honeywell pls dont sue o!i just dey forget like fish!!hope there is no copyright infringement o!!i cannot afford de lawyers!ma binu o!
solomonsydelle- Its not Jazz o!!Im just cool like that...if you hang about long enough it might rub off on you... 30+- tanz for cominz by sorry about my french! and my american star...yes you miss pearse- I will try and have a sense of humour about things next time. yoshi baby and Anu boy- once again tenzz tenzz!!I cant believe none of you thought of a way to get him back!!!wow!!y'all come from good homes o!I was expecting to get some mad revenge tips but all i got was people telling me I should forgerrit and fashi the guy! thanks God will bless you this week!As a christian we should forgive seventy seven times seventy seven abi(aint read the Bible in a while men-) but anyho, ill use this as minus one!

fineboy just came outta the wilderness of the real world and all its wahala!Tens very musshh!The gist is that Fineboy is getting married ooo which is why he has not blogged!!

lol!!dont mind me- im just a little stirrer!Soz fineboy but you been out cold for a hot mirrit!But what is the story?id like to have your opinion on the whole fineboi MIA thing...I bet you he found love!well thats what im gonna spread!

Sorry guys but this entry is going to be a bit dry- im going to bed now but id thought id write something before someone opens my nyash again!

Meanwhile, I dont even like Mr A anymore- as in at all... I thank God o!!Cos there was a point that i thought my life was over if i didnt see or speak to him again- Thank the Good Lord for common sense! so by some bad decision making via my brain i decided that I was a grown adult and could allow all his attempts to runz me...but as soon as i added him on FB i changed my mind- the crazy psycho woman that I am decided that he was a complete dimwit(i really tried not to swear) and i should not associate myself with such scum!! I decided that he was a loser and even though he added me as a friend, i would not go to his profile...

This lasted for 3 days- men curiosity got the better of me-then i thought lemme just see the guys pics now...kini?I wont die now!It doesnt matter if hes fine or feelings start rushing back via the comuter screen...ill just remove him from my friends before i am tempted to write in his inbox(the wall is such a lame way of telling people you have a social life)

anyhow, i got to his pics and im like.....WOAH...is THIS what i was tripping about??
in my head all that burst out in one ghetto ass americana type of accent is 'dang gurl!!he aint nuthin'!!i was soo confused!!was this the same one that was giving me sleepless nights?the same one that i tried to figure out- the same one i used to trip like a MUUUUMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUU for? ahhh ahhh- i was upset cos Arinze was waaay finer!!

I have come to the conclusion that it was jazz cos the dude is aight but what i was tripping for is another thing altogether and he is actually friends with the one i abused the life out of in the last entry! but anyho, I just thought id blog and let the world know that vindi has moved on!!finally! I suppose i was expecting goosebumps and all but narrings- I was even a bit embarrassed!!i looked at myself in the mirror and then i looked at him and thought 'YEE!!As in, Im finer than him o'!!ok not leaps and bounds but enough sha!!

The guy did me greazy sha but im waaaaaaaayyyyy to fly for all that- Hengish, Im coming for that pulse thing o so im expecting VIP runz o!!I wast all your chem eng, pipeline eng, petro chem engineers who work in the oil and gas market o!- i want them fine o!!no woh-wohs allowed...one of my girls is on the ACS so Im going to give her moral support!I just hope people i dont want to see arent there(i don bastardise hinglish o-double negative makes a positive)- we all have those people you would rather projectile vomit at than say wassup to and be giving pretentious 2 kisses like we are french when our passport is GREEN!!!
So hengish, if you dey for ACS event sha holler so i can organise sturves for you nau- i dont want the dude to be hanging round me cos he will try and spoil my runs and telling people that im pregnant for his kid and all that...(the guys fineness is intimidating- even i have to up my game that day-need to look for shoes to wear sha!

so onwards and upwards- I need to find a real christian man- babes are getting older now- yes i know, ive been gobbled up by the green eyed marriage monster- sue me!!i dont want to be a spinster!! Im just starting early cos i know what im like and it takes me a while to warm up to people!!
Hengish, sorry this one is dry but im sooo tired!!!

Anyhow, if anyone knows that dude that was at Bond street station last week with this bounz navy sailor outer coat lookin fresh to def- holler!!like for reals- some maaaddd Blair Underwood crossed with omar epps, dark chocolate thunder, sweet black cherry kinda sturves-!!i almost missed my step on the escalators!!he sha got on the jubilee line going towards Wembley park so haller!If the shops werent closing, i woulda stalked his ass men-ok- its not that bad!!well must go and finish facebooking and then sleep like a baby!!
bye!!

i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo ANGRY

2008-01-21T03:30:00.001-08:00

Some people are dickheads, some are complete wankers and some people are just enemies of progress!!

Ok so watch this, you first try and rape me and try and tell the whole world that we did sturves!!err i was helpless drunk and you with your dirty finger nails took advantage- and then you try and make it seem to the whole world as if i freaking LIKE YOU!!!Err far from it you dirty bush rat! I dont know if your purpose in life is to always mention my name to feel like on hot stuff or walleva but know this fuck face, I would never on a sober day even ja you face-

So after I was 'manhandled' as a kid and molested and what not, you think id allow a guy as useless as yourself near me??I have taken responsibility for my drinking that day/night fair enough. but dude, i did not come on to you so why did you pick me out of everyone there? they say the people the highest up have the greatest fall. ooooooooooo sooooooooooooooo true!!

I thought i was being polite when i didnt tell people what went down. I was being a lady cos under some blind assumption i thought you were going to be a gentleman- a gentleman never discloses his private business!!you fucker!!pardon my french!-dont think i have ever sworn so mushhhh on this- I didnt want to tell everyone how desperado you were in wanting to go to never never land with your mouth!!you dirty boy- plain nasty- so even after i declined and you still forced yourself onto and tried to rape me, i was quiet!!i said nothing- What is even more annoying is that you were and still am one of the most unattractive men i have ever come across- you with your nasty shoes- I have not spoken to you in 3 years and now you wanna be telling the world that you know me- Mr mumu head, listen here. If you think life is a popularity contest which consists of claiming to know people and then smiling saying no when asked if we are friends(at least youre not that much of a dickhead) and then smiling to insinuate shilt, bitch, you are soooo wrong!!When next i see you at one of those 9ja parties. I will take off my gucci stilettos (who am i lying to? i got them from Zara) anyhow, i will take off my shoe and slap you with it!YOu watch and i will expose you for the rapist you are!Wait til i get immigration on your ass!!you think you can hide in that village with that your useless passport?

This guys sef. you dont know me and you ddont know what I am capable of so i wouldnt go shooting my mouth off about near conquests. You dont know my life story so fuck right off the page mate!I have deleted you from memory and you should do the same mr jobless. I am supposed to be working!i have grown out of your crowd of faker friends- Its even more of a tragedy that your friend was hotter and you think i like you?pele o!!i think the cold in this country has got to that small brain of yours and made a right mess.

but anyhow,I got this from someones blog, cant remember but it really helped me:"I have come to the understanding that God commanded us to forgive for one reason: Unforgiveness eats away at your life. Seriously. Think about all the ways harboring your unforgiveness has hampered you. You may have lost certain people in your life. You are uncomfortable when the person you are angry with is around. You can't even enjoy yourself when the person is there. Sometimes, you even dislike some friends you currently have because they are friends with the one who hurt you. And the list goes on."

monday morning rant. off to work now!! have a fab week.

Go on girl wich your fine self!

2008-01-18T04:47:00.000-08:00

So I am not the happiest person right about now- you know how family problems can just spoil your mood!!i been like this for the best part of the week!!what kind of stupidness is this?
Anyho, Slater J, you are not serious!!i did not shell!!i had to go through my last blog to check!!Or worse still, ive become numb to shells!kai!!that would be tragic.

but this is gonna be a total rant today!!i have had it with stupid ass children!!all those juvi's at the Edgeware bus station- piss off you jobless ghetto ass sellotape hairstyles and all!!and the boys who feel that i want to hear you sing Marques Houston up in the club- trust me, you will not get a recording deal that will get you out of the hood with that voice so just chill and read your books!

Anyho, my future is looking majorly bounz and bright!!apart from the nudge nudge wink wink sturves in nige- as per- dudes tryna holler and dudes tryna fall in love with me- not knowing my wahala!

Its quite funny cos while i was in Nige, i was such a nice foreign person- i was tipping like a mumu though and i got into almost everything for free- no tip needed this time! but anyhow, I was so nice to peeps. id see random people in a queue and just start gisting with them, wishing them a happy xmas- it was fun- some people were trying to put on some majorly forced britico/americana accents!

now im back in Jand, im one angry mofo again- shouting at everything that moves!
LP babes, im still waiting for your blog o!!and i too hope it wasnt your man!!if it was- dayum!he was sha talking to someone for a while before we boarded the flight so who knows!

I remember going to palms with my friends and some guy spoke to me in hausa saying that he had seen me in Kaduna over xmas!lol!!i nearly laffed- i did the usual 'nnaji hausa kadan kadan'!!which means i dont grab o!!but i know how to say that in 5 nigerian languages!

so has anyone seen D'banjs crude new song- anakonda- he didnt even spell it correctly!anyho, how nasty is he- who cares if his stuvvs are the size of a 150year old pine tree!!this babe and many others are not concerned in the slightest!!- i for one think he is hiding a twig cos you wouldnt need to boast about something like that. not to be nasty but you can see the bulge for yourself! talking of bulge, i think i Mr A had like the biggest- i swear he was packing a pair of socks!or maybe he was just happy to see me!:-) anyhow, back to less crude things,

but my rant- the fam wants to know what im doing with my life!!-i dunno men- im working but its not exactly what one would call a job!

anyho, i almost fell back into Mr A's arms- jeez!i dunno what is going on- i think its just cos so much is going on and the last person i let 'get to me' was him and also, i think i need a distraction from whatever it is that is going on in the fam!- i almost called him-just to say hey! who am i fooling!? i still have feelings for him but what is one to do?Shiiit, babes are too fly to be waiting about! but there is this other one, im not too too interested but i need a distraction- i just hope he is not looking for quick sturves cos he will be very VERY disappointed- I actually pride myself on being on a long ting! Im not about to drop it like its hot cos you like me- do i have mugu written on my forehead!?allow!but the thing is im not very inviting when we yarn and i dont really have time to be overtly nice and flirt- one cos i dont feel comfortable- im sure if i passed out in front of him drunk as a skunk id be ok with him after cos he has seen me at my worst so it can only get better right!?

I feel like that babe in commons new vid- i want you- not bounz

anyhow, i think ill stop here for today- nothing is really happening at the mo in my life- one of my bestos(male) has been trying this whole 'you are one of my bestos and i dont know how i cope without you'- men. the guy is not even gonna try those runs cos after i told him i liked him a year ago and we didnt even talk about it- I swear, ill fly kick him if he even tries to say he has feelings for me cos i will tax his ass and then tell him i dont have feelings for him

before i go, can someone explain this to me? so if your friend is trying to matchmake you to someone who you kind of like but you arent too sure, how then will her telling you that he is very minted attract you to him?hmm!!cos it didnt work for me!if anything, i was like, ok great, competition!Yall know vindi will not be outdone!

Ok, must do some facebooking before the end of my lunch break. ciao!

Tagged by Xhale!

2008-01-15T16:59:00.000-08:00

Two Names you go by:
1) Vindi
2)VTI

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1) My sexy dior royal blue and white shirt
2) a merino wool jumper

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:
1) Jesus at the head and heart of every decision(i know three is a crowd but this is the only exception)
2) clarity and a huge dashing of honesty

Two of your favorite things to do:
1) Analysing things and people as well as cursing my nearest and dearest loved ones
2) Making people happy- i am actually genuinely concerned about your happiness.

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1) Some clarity from God about the numerous things going on in my life(i know you are reading this God)
2) To know myself more in Christ

Two pets you had/have:
1) Never had a pet- dont see the point!but if i was to have a pet, it would be a giraffe
2) the next one would be elephant

Two people you think will fill this out:
1) I dont have a clue
2) I dont have a clue 2

Two things you did last night:
1) Went on Facebook
2) Watched Eastenders

Two things you ate last night:
1) Beans
2) Gari and ground nut

Two people you last talked to:
1) My cousin
2)my sister

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1)Getting those Jeans from Gap
2) send something off to my friend

Two longest car rides:
1) One trip to Leeds I took-LONG!!
2) Trip to The Village!!-allow those runs!!

Two favourite holidays:
1) xmas in nige-y'all know it was LIVE
2) 29th of Feb- Its not a holiday but i always look forward to that day!!i get mmajorly excited.

Favourite Beverages:
1) No lie- Bitter Lemon schwepps
2) Chapmans with malibu

Person no longer alive you'd like to talk to:
1) no barry!!Ill speak to them in heaven!
2) like i said, no barry.

now i tag everyone who has read this!ill be looking around to see if you have done what vti has told you!

til next time

swerrie baby like Ijebu gari!

2008-01-10T06:23:00.000-08:00

hey hey hey!!Vindi baybay is back in the building!!halla!!!NIGE WAS AMAZING!!TOO MANY MUMUS AND TOTAL CLOWNS!
Lagos was cool- actually it was hot!!very hot!!
So the trip was tight!!where do i start??k, so i got my flight into the country but before hand my sister told me to buy like 12 drinks from duty free- see how everyone was looking at me like i was an alcholic!!had like 6 bottles of wine, corvoursier, some martell sturves, grey goose, baileys and all sorts- and this was upon the perfume i was told to but also!!some people dont realise i have 2 hands and im not some alien with 4 hands!anyho. on my flight- kai, bounz sturvings!!i mean the shoes werent the hottest but the torso was MAD!!i tried to use my make up mirror to peek behind and see how far!!i mean, the guy was scoping babes(naturally-being a bounz babe and all- but this blog entry is not about blowing my own trumpet so anyho)

The guy fine- he had like furry caterpillar eyebrows which for some unknown reason i find very manly-sexy!!like honestly, i got up numerous times just to have a look- his shoes looked like it had been through a lot but i really didnt care men!!see fine guy- and there was no designer or any effizi or any of that naija lazy boy walk- but this one was on point o! YOu know when someone has bounzness in the blood!!wearing one tight tee- tew mad men!

anyho, i didnt see him again but the pictures of facebook from FLYYY had some majorly bounz ones of him- ok, call me a stalker or waddever!when i saw dude at the airport i was like this dude looks familiar but i dont know where from!!-when it clicked-ie facebook, i just thought to myself 'FACEBOOK STALKER'!!!

So now when i arrived in nige with my 12 bottles of alcohol- being vip sturves customs didnt stop me and do their uselessness- i mean they are only doing their job!!yeah right!!me i was just smiling at everyone saying goodmorins like one over janded babe!!you shoulda even seen what i was wearing- can anbody say TRAMP!!it was bad o!!i was wearing these ninja trousers with one grey dress and a green cardigan and some plimsoles i bought recently which i have fallen in love with!!

anyho that was my first encounter with boounz sturves before i got onto the airport!i didnt see him again as i flew into abuja and stayed in lagos for most of my time as i have never been there really!!abj was cool but it seems like everyone is an honorable someone or another!
Nige was fun!!well it wasnt fun when they took light and pops was not ready to hear the noise of the gen so we just read this day and abused politicians!- i wont even start to rant here about Ribadu cos that whole story get nyash like volcano!

the next sturves was just there- nothing bounz about im!!- hen we were leaving him(my fam and i ) the dude said to my cousins 'you have all these burreful lahdies in your car' i was laffing like a mumu!!razzo!!

Ok, i learnt something from my trip tho- the only thing that seperates nigerian men is money(most of the time)!they walk the same(like they are entering a premier or papparazzi are round the corner ready to take foto! also, they talk the same, from mallam selling suya to gate man to pure water seller to that politicians son you know(we all know one) they all say -'AZZZ INNNNNNN'!!- and they all wear polo shet!with or without the horse!!and converses and vans-k, me too i carried my cons and vans there but ive had mine for like 5 years- since i went to school with awon preppy country village kids!!but anyho, i wont talk about how ahead i am with fashion!

ok, some guys are well mannered and classy- like my dad and my uncle- but some of todays boys are annoying- because your pops stole money from the govt which has resulted in the poverty gap wideneing you have the balls to tell me 'do you know who my dad is?'- mumu- do i look bovvered?nah mate so check yourself!ask yourself this question, 'WHO ARE YOU'?-a nobarry who has been moving universities and changing course for the last 5 years or better still, it took you 7 years to complete a 3year course even though you studied in jand or in yankee- you were better off staying in nige and asking pops to pay for someone to give you a degree in business admin!!anyho, my rant is over- but as i said before,if anyone asks 'do you know who my dad is' reply- 'who are you'?cos more often than not, they are nobarries!!

Ok, what is it with every 9ja babe thinking they are the next Anna Sui??i mean, the cranberry girls stuff is cool and what haute mag is doing is off the chain but i must say this- babes- its not by force!this designer sturves is not for everyone!!im happy telling my tailor what i want made!!- but anyho, how una dey? hope yall are well- im about to revive the blog world this year!!so watch out!!Miss pearce, slerra J and by Gods grace and his grace alone, even Jack Bloggs!aint even checked out fineguy in a hot mirrit!catwalq, yosh and the rest- yosh sef, i was in your zone for a few days-abuja- went to ceddi plaza which seems to be the only place there!-too many ajebota kids there men!!- i fitted right in!!lol!!

ciao everyone and HAPPY new YEAR!!!next post is about my uncle trying to marry me off at all costs!!lol!!

My life in the last month

2007-11-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

well, after my little battle with demons of my past, i have finally come to a new chapter in my life- one that doesnt in any way involve men!!!-who am i kidding!!well its not like before so i am sorta allowed to say that!!

I really dont know where every1 is on this blogger sha!!(i know, egusi soup calling efo riro soup right)!anyho, back to my life- ive actually got some gist- its not like usper juicy but its cool!anyho, my sisters friend is mates with one babe like this- the one whose boyfriend i used to like- when i found out i was like gosh, there really is no gerrin away from it really!!!

Ive heard soooo maqny shells in the last few weeks its unreal!!one of my friend blamed it on the weather!!i laffed- instead of it feels like silk- we got it felted!!and this was in brent cross in full view of the 9ja peeps queuing up at the beaur de change zone(dont worry, we've all been there, queuing up those talla talla bills popsi sent you for school fees but you somehow got distracted whilst coming out of brent cross in zara) we have all been there!!i have not really noticed any bounz guys- suppose im just tired of the silly useless runs- like in the last month- people have been trying to sell me off to random geezers- when i say sell i mean sell me off for a pack of peak milk or even worse- selling me off for a cup of gari!!what is that about??mate sort it out- well my bounz lookin days are over- ok well not over but i simply dont have time anymore to be baffing up-= i realised that i look rather bubbliciously bounz natural- men and you know that is rare- so ive thrown away the mac and the dior eye pencil and the ysl mascara!!its all about what God gave me!who am i lying to- i still add a bit here and there- i spent a good couple of quid on that lot.

so what has been going on- i see Slater J has finally ouddied this zone along with ms Pearce!!as in guys now...how far-

Funny thing happened after i went for an interview last week- apart from giving them some serious loud scary fall on the lift of the underground and almost dying of embarassment, i was now trying to compose myslef, i ogt out at waterloo to see someone and then this short oyinz(oyinbo dude) now stepped up to me withhis lines were 'fancy going for a quick drink'- unless im an alcoholic, going for a drink at 1 in the afternoon with an absolute stranger who is no way near you boob height is just a no no!!- me minding where my feet went after that devastating fall- you know the ones where you see your life flash before you as you lose your balance- and the thing is i had shopping bags and so all you heard was about 3 bags full of russel and bromley shoes (and a bag which is just too freakin mad) and my KG bags collide like an erruption!!it was very theatrical i must say- shame i wasnt acting and i actually was in pain- lol!!but it was sooo funny- imagine a city babe fallin head on her face with a million and one shopping bags!!?d'banj said it-why me!?

the other decision ive made is to marry a nigerian- upon all my complaining and moaning, i realise that i love the fact that they are arrogant, funny, very intelligent(if you hng around the right bunch and not the ones that are disgracing us with compensated 3rd classes and spending 8 years to do a 3 year course and lying saying you did a placement-as in FOR HOW LONG??lol)
Yeah, so im marrying a nigerian- seeing as my mom did and she sure as heck didnt do too bad for herself(she is nigerian too just incase u get confused)but the two are a blessed couple and i pray that God will continue to bless them!!
So what do i have to offer?hmm well where do i start- thats another blog- so til then ciao-

Men, this overw'lming feeling of bounzness is too mush for me!!til lellers, bwyeeee

Azzz in KO EASY men!

2007-09-24T18:41:00.000-07:00

yes i know what ur thinking!!again!!'Vindi, i thought you said no more awon n9ja goiz'-i know-bite me-the guy fine!and he get ambition(rare in todays 9ja circles of pretencious nobarries-yes im sure you know at least one who acts like their shit dont stink and they are some sort of untouchables cos they are flowzen with stolen govt money or their parents legitimate douche!!-my dear, its not your hard work but theirs-go and get yours) anyho, back to my man issues!!

its not my fault-pimpin aint easy!!but on a serious note-i finks im onto something-ill have ot pray and get back to you but it should be a hot look!!actually theres two but ill gist you later-no wait three if i include the one my fam is tryna marry me off to!will discuss in a bit but until then, you have my other entries to bore you!
Ciao!

Yay!!im 31!!

2007-09-20T10:08:00.000-07:00

Not in real life i mean,but yeah, this is my 31st blog entry-everyone clap for me!!lol!!
anyho, what been good?me?well...men...i just dey!!nothings been happening!!since i decided to become more Vindi oriented and less bothered about the man dem, its just been a complete disaster!!
People are trying to hook a sister up left right centre, up and down!!if i needed help, i would ask BUT I HAVE NOT ASKED SO KEEP YOUR CUPIDS ARROW BACK IN YOUR SACK!!
Ok, well there was one about 2 weeks ago that was keen on me but babes were not on that tip(ok,OK, guy was HOTTT but babes have to behave one kind innit?cant be acting like ur all feelin the guy now...thats just too desperado 21st century independent woman 'i get what i want' type of rubbish!!-it just makes me come across as a ashi!)

On a much lighter note, ive been catchin the usual trips in Willesden, Kilburn with awon 9ja peeps acting a fool!!

By the way....did anyone see the MOBO's???if not you really must see it!!-2face(big ups to my Idoma homie) won best african act and he broke his award and then when he went to collect his award, D'BANJ went to go and follow him!!Mr kokolet was just embarrouzzing men!!as in, even shaggy dissed him saying something about the mad man!!!and can somebarry please sponsor D'banj's wardrobe!!-i mean his music is live but his baffs are sooo not!!ive seen him wear the same outfit at least 3 times!!-yall know the one im on about- the one thats like a waistcoat top with black ankara material on one side and white on the other and then his trousers has like i think its one leg is ankara NA D THE other is some white linen stuvvs!!lol!!the guy shouldnt make me laff too much!!-but yesterday his trousers were waiting for flood men!!ok, im not dissing the guy cos Mr kokolet is very talented, there 'no long ting' about it- lol!!do you get it??-well if you dont then ur slow mate- and if you do, ur prolly calling me DRY!!!

anyho, well the other day i went out looking majorly run over!!as in, no make up, no gucci tote and worst of all, no money-but thats all gonna change!!Yall are lookin at(by God's grace,) the new graduate to work for UBS!!-HALLA!!!!!wooo hooo!!im still praying!!-im yet to send off my app tho!!but in Jesus name its mine!!woo hoo!!

k, i only decided to bump into someone one my bad day!!!aarrggghhh!!yes, i bumped into Mr Him's cousin!!what a shirry day!!!oh well, at least it was not HIM!! flaming heck, i wouldhave crawled on that cricklewood lane all the way home(which is a good 5 miles)!!men!babes have suffered!!As in, you shoulda seen the guys eyes when he saw my hair!!-lol!!it was only the spirit of God in him that made him not burst out and say 'cor blimey, whats that on your head'?? but he seems pleasant enough!!-but then again, 9ja guys like to GISt- they are (mostly) a bunch of bishes!!i don curr what anybarry sez!!all chatting!!-if they spent half as much time on their books as they do on their blackberry then maybe 9jas future would be brightER!!!(i said brighter not bright ooo, so no curses!!)

anyho, one thing thats really pissing me off is these SAFARI AWARDS on Facebook that i was invited to!!im sooo mad that they didnt add me as one of the bounzest babes!!-i mean, who made up the list!??
actually lemme write a complete blog about this award!!

by the way, if i dey shell grenade on this blog, ma binu ooo!!i aint used my brain in a while!!lol!!
ciao

Ive turned gay

2007-08-31T15:15:00.000-07:00

Yes thats right, your girl vindi is now a gaylord!!but not in the sense ur thinking!!!ive done a lot of growing up in the last few days-and i mean a lot!!!

Was having a conversation with God(as you do when youve hit rock bottom and so the only way is up) and i realised sooo many things- some of which id rather not admit but this is me in all my glory so i can say war da heck i warra!!

K, the first one is a major deal that i have been dealing with(better still, god has been dealing with me)!!anyho, i finally understand what it is to like someone and to have feelings for someone(Slater, abeg, pls no projectile vomitting). Ive liked a lot of people, ive acted on very few of them(one to be exact) and ive only really ever had feelings for one person!!-i know what ur thinkin...was it the one i acted on? my answer is NO!!and my 'acting on it' meant that i went to go and see him!!Im an ode, i know!!
So i realised that i have- YES O- HAVE feelings for him- the one with the babe that i wrote about like a million years ago!! anyhooooo, im mad at myself cos this is not supposed to happen to someone like me!!im a freakin hard babe!!who is he? like really!!k, thats my ego playing up!!

so i thought AND THOUGHT AND THOUGHT AND THOUGHT(YOU GET THE GIST) about the whole situation from start to finish and its just silly- we started on awkward terms and ended on even more awkward note- had met him before(not formally as in introduction ) but i had seen the guy in notts and we shared a piece of earth together and me like an idiot not realising how stupid and pretencious 9ja guys are went to drag myself and said wassup to him- it wasnt like i was drawnt to him cos that shit is gay but seein as ive turned gay in this blog, i think im allowed to say that!anyho, i introduced myself cos i didnt see anything wrong with that- im a fine babe, hes a fine guy- nature says that we should at least be friends(i hear you Miss Pearse "im conceited, i got a reason...now who's that peeping in ma window?nobarry cos i live in the penthouse" lol!!)

so i introduce myself- at first the guy is thinkin WTF is happening- babe has balls to walk up and im sure his friends(im not gonna abuse them today in this blog cos itsnot their fault they aint found Jesus) thought 'who is this babe that is just walking around like 2face ie- nothing dey hapun!!' anyho, after, i now scoped the guy as a guy would scope a babe and was shocked to find that the guy fine pass what 20: 20 vision was showing!!i swear he had a halo around his head-lol-dont mind me!

anyho, back to the future(or should i say present- i saw the film the other day- brought back memories of my childhood man).
so now today, 31st august, i realise that the guy don mess babes up and i feel like i really messed up as in i swear if i see him i might just jump on the nigga(not like that, get your head out of the marina water) as in id give him a proper love hug as i call it- not those ones like those fake ajebota babes give here trying to feel all posh with two stupid ass french kisses in the air like anyone gives a flying %&*k!heheheheh!!pardon my french!
yes so i have feelings for MR and im in a bit of a shit cos i deleted his number and now i forced myself to forget it and now i have forgotten his number- i know ur thinking its probably for the best but i cannot let this one slide- there is too much chemistry(remember the title)- i know he knows i like him and i know he knows that i know he likes me but the major problem of THE BABE is pizzing me off!!its nt her fault she has good taste!AAARRRGGHHHHH!!so this is me, 2007, over 2 years since i started this journey!WTF- but its only now that i realise that there is like and having feeling for!!i miss our stupid ass convos as few as they were!!me yarning the usual dust and him just laughing-either at him or with him! as goatish as that sounds, just the basic yarns without any talk of feelings was cool with me but now i look back that was not the smartest idea cos now im in this shit hole called ' i dunno what to do cos now i know i got feelings for MR O and i dont have a clue where the heck he could be and even if i did, i dont think hed want to even yarn babes seeing as ive given dude enough knock backs every time he tried discuss anything,'- some long ass title abi? im sure d banj wouldnt get it- dry joke...

Dont ask about Arinze, babes %&$ked up majorly(pardon my yoruba)!!i really messed up!

To conclude todays lesson, remember not to confuse feelings with liking someone!!it can really mess things up and that is highly unbounz!! and if you do have feelings for someone, get it out in the open-who gives a flying hoot!!

i know nothing can happen cos at the end of the day, as Ezra is his girlfriend, they are emotionally responsible for one another and are emotionally tied- as i have feelings for the guy it doesnt change that and i should really be real with myself cos even if i start getting all emotionally tied to Mr O, his responsibility is to Ezra and her feelings as long as he is with her-
all this feeling shiznit is mezzed up!!im going straight in my next post!
ciaooooo

took 3hrs towrite this blog entry- started at 11pm on the 32st and now its the freakin 1st of september!!!woo hoo, my birthday is in a few months!!better start thinking of pressies!

love you lot like yam and egg with akara

PART 2-man dem tryin to chirps shawwa babes/ awon small boys tryin to runs big babes

2007-08-26T18:22:00.000-07:00

alll these 15 yr old london small babes are gerrin on my nerves!!anyone who knows willesden and cricklewood will be familiar with them- tracksuit bottoms hanging round their ankles, gold chain, ugly stunners like some 9ja boys we know and spitting everywhere like its a competition!!foolish morons!!

anyho, im in edgware chillin, sittin on about half a million(naira that is-lol) dont mind me, k, im in edgeware waling to a BS(bus stop-but dont tell anyone-then again, its better than husling a ride from awon geezers who dont bloody have insurance but drive nice cars-i mean, where is the logic in that-but then again, money doesnt buy logic!!
so anyho, walkin now, see one guy tryna follow babes, i now slow down, he now say 'Excuse me' im like 'mm hmmm' 'could i have a word?'lol!!i was like 'no, i need to save the planet'!!lol!!and he says ill walk with you, im like, im ok, but thanks for the invitation(cos he invited himself to follow me to go and sit at a bus stop!)

anho, now, i now get to cricklewood, and small boys walk past, me taking no notice, cos they aint even n my radar with those tracksuit bottoms!!so im there now chillin, guy goes to his friend
'bruv, would you mash dat?'
friend replies 'yeah man, deffo'
guy now goes 'mee too, id mash that!!anyday'
im now there shocked that 15yr olds are talking about someone thats old enough to be their moms(this is the gherro, peeps have kinds from the age of 9 men- but even then they are only 7yrs younger!!

so anyho, the small boy tries to holler with his spitting crew about-
This is the chat up line, slater, wiat for it yeah, miss pearce, i know ur gonna be ill at your work station,
'Excuse me, is your name sarah?'!!!lol!!i burst out laughin without even hesitating to think if he has a gun!!- london these days is full small boys with even smaller brains and massive guns which is a recipe for disaster, but God will shield and protect us!!

anyho i burst out laughin and so do the peeps at the bus stop(random peeps might i add) so im now there, he tries another stupid line
'Do you have a sister?' -i cringe and laugh again- the guy was crackin me up too much- he thought his game was too mad!!lol!!!see small boy!! so after swearing at his boys, for not givin him support to talk to me he walks off and im there at the bus stop trying to look proper and not laugh at the boy in front of his friends!!so one of his friend now tries his luck...
'oh, sorry, are you a model?'
i reply 'no. but i used to be'!!!lie lie!!!the only catwalk ive been on is my kitchen-i didnt even make it onto the fusion catwalk in nige last year!!lol!!so anyho now, im there chillin- that line was a lie from the pit of hell but guy was now like
'oh, you shoulda stuck with it' i now replied 'the whole size zero thing was doing my head in and it was a bit of a cultural clash as being full figured in my culture is a sign of affluence'!!i only said this bit cos i knew small boys would not understand what i was saying!!so i did what any crazy psycho would do to random touts who are disturbing you- i started yarning dust!!like madly!!anyho, the dude now comes back, thinkin his game is gonna be too mad!!-lol!!he dont know about Vindi men!!!anyho, he now comes up to me and says ' have you got a boyfriend doh'- i smile, knowing what im about to say again is from the pit of hell 'yes' the guy is now like 'i guessed as much.so can i have ur number?' he brings out his phone and i shake my head!!
he now starts gisting me about how hes never had a babe ever and that he doesnt have real friends!!- i now asks him what about these touts with me at the bus stop?he says they are not his real friends i replied 'such is life' he now says he gets on more with females ands wants to be my friend!!lol!!i laugh and say 'ive got enough of those thanks as a model' lol!!i was on a roll!!the guy is still trying so i just say 'sorry but its not gonna happen'!!
this is one story!!there are more, ill bring them out of my mental archive when i get bored, but i think ive bored you enough today- adios peeps...I KNOW its not as nteresing as the title hyped it up to be sorry is all i can offer you!!

oh and if anyone asks, my name is shantel and i am from Bauchi!!lol!!stupid boys tryna lie that they too are naija!!

forgot to even add the guy from friday!!useless also- but had some mad body!!like i ws like wooo hooo!!!tooo mad!!but guy was yarning dust even when my friend told him to get lost, he was saying how he loved black babes cos they were feisty- i was about to give him a left hook and an upper cut men!!!

ok, guys, i need a car, i want the new maserati granturismo as my first car!!the car has effizii written all over it!!its one of those cars that when it goes past, your jaw is between your legs that and the ferarri!!

ps the gunner (arsenal) better win this season or else ill become a glory hunter!!
bye

As much as i sound like one,IM NOT AN ODE!!Part 1-the double whammy!!

2007-08-26T17:43:00.000-07:00

so i saw something today whilst chillin with my babe and i was like WOAH!!!so anyho, yall know the situation with Rinnie(Arinze's pet name)!!had to ouddie the guy- i told him i was having issues with moms and so i needed some time off to get my stuvvs together!!anyho now, see me see wahala- hes now callin askin about my moms!!i just need space!!i cant be havin awon 9ja guy runz precious babes-its just not cool!!lol!!IM VERY CLOSE TO CRACKING!!its not funny, im sure slater you wanna give guys a hi5 but this one is no joke- chicks are trippin!!its not the stuff he buys for me(that i tell him to return cos i can buy it myself and im too pround and i dont want moms and my brothers to be asking questions.
miss him a whole lot but babes need to be strong!!(k, i cracked and we are sorta back on track but dont tell my logical brain of reason cos itll be real upset that im doing something this daft and im doing what i advise my friends against!!
so anyho back to the matter at hand!!

one of my homies is seeing one guy that i used to like(one of those, 'it didnt work out' kinda things)!me and the guy are cool and ish, but i dont get why babe is being shady!!its all good sha cos im using this to my advantage, if she wont tell me whats going on, ill make it even more difficult for her to tell me-ive already started my madness!!!!so today, we went for a concert in the carni, so now me there chillin with my other chum 'Yinka' who is also waiting for 'Ngozi'- so we wait for like 20 mins and are lll waiting outside cos we have her bag, she now appears form one corner with 'Gbemi'- they separate as the enter the public domain like narrings just happened and it was just coincidence- im no fool homie!!

so earlier now Gbemis younger bro said to me(not knowing the deal of how i know gbemi) starts saying 'dont you think its odd that Ngozi and Gbemi have all of a sudden disappeared'!!being really obvious that 'hello hint hint'!!me being the blonde that i am say 'hmm. yes. that is odd' so the young bro starts hinting and ends it with 'im sure they arent getting up to anything-theyre christians'- now i trust my friend and she has no reason to be hiding it from me- im not one of those babes-im just a tad pissed off that shes been soo cagey when i go out of my way to be open cos weve known eachother since we were like 8/9!!

anyho, when she appeared from the dark corner with Gbemski i asked her 'Ngozi, why do you have that look of worry??you look like youve done something naughty'!!lol-im sucha biach!!anyho she says 'oh nothing...' and i probe 'so where have you been hiding?' she replies saying 'oh, i need to go to the bathroom'!!lol!at this point, i see gbemski(remixed the name Gbemi) give one steamy look at Ngozi!!hmmm!!anyho, im there like yeah warreva, if chick cant tell me then thats her own shizzle- but she sooo blaitantly avoided the qn cos i asked her 3 times!!*hiss**- i went to school babe, i dont sell okro on third mainland bridge!!
i later went on to say ' im sooo sad, i could almost cry.i just dont wanna hear any more bad news for a while cos ill just breakdown here in front off all these random peeps'- so she looks at me and says 'y do u wanna cry?' im like uhhh, i dunno...but i wanna cry so noone should say something thatll put me on edge!!!

ITs kinda cute (the two of them)but i cant say nothing cos i think she thinks im bothered but she doesnt realise that it was like 2/3 years ago and im cool with it as long as they seek God and are both happy-they got ma blessing!!

and another thing thats pissing me off is that i cant believe that my other mate might know and is also doing cover cover for her!!!AAARRRGGGHHH!!!its like all my good mates are kinda effed!!not happy about this but when the shit hits the fan the only classical line ill throw is 'i cant believe you felt you couldnt tell me- im really disappointed that you feel our relationship cannot weather something so trivial!!now i know what this friendship means to you'!!i know im calculated and crazy but God would not have it any other way and if he would, then ill probably be same very very soon!!!

so this is rant part one(but if youre reading it from the blog itll be rant part 2!!k, im ouddie, hope ur happy Atutpoyoyo and Miss Pearse(aka miss mia-hope ur cool)

slater, u don mess up big- vulnerable emotional 9ja babe and you couldnt even halla!!and when are you updating that old ass site of yours??sorry but i dont want it to end up like jack bloggs where ive memorised that blog about spatans and D'den!!!-talking of D'den, TOUTS!!!!you have been warned!!lol!!these days, its safer to stay in your house(even if you only have channels 1-5)!!i swear the razness is contageous!!
i wrote another remix of a song but ill spare you guys today cos i gotta do another blog about awon small guys tryna halla!!lol!!somebarry save me!!

Adios my people

Too much man dem on link!!

2007-08-22T17:44:00.000-07:00

lol...this needs to be done properly so ill do this tom when im more awake!!lol!!!ive never felt like a cele in Willesden before but today, i was like queen Vindi!!and some boys are dirty!!how can you be spitting on Cricklewood broadway like anything??mad fool!!carry yourself on the 260 and go home ode!!

enough jokes men!!lol!
Slerra, so how far with the blog or youve decided to fashi that!!anyho, hope ur enjoying jand with its shitty weather- even in the rain today, i brought out my sunglasses and wore them - sorry but i paid good money (£12) to leave them to rot!!they are tooo bounz men!! anyho, i hope you havent been camping outside sainsburys in willesden waiting for babes oh, cos the only person you'll see is momsi with a million shopping bags!!
anyho peeps, this is a quick one, Ill be back with the real story tomorrow bright and early (i consider 12 to be early)

ciao

just a quickie

2007-08-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

If you are from essex, sorry to disappoint, its not a quickie of that kind!!anyho, this is just a quick note, had to end my earlier blog entry on a sharp note cos the fam was about to bust my blog and that is not cool-u get me!!

anyhow sha, this week has been jokes!-did the usual cricklewood runs(had to buy plantain from that african shop) and some irish dude who jus came out the pub(drunk as heck might i add) shouts out 'Oooohhh, helooo Naomi'!!!lol!!!i just literally laughed out loud!!it was jokes!!and then i wore white skinnys in the rain!!-yes i know how stupid!!its not my fault-then my hair got wet and now it smells so i have to wash it, any offer?hair dressers in Knightsbridge i go to is 80 squid to wash so its a no go seeing as i got blasted in somerfield today!!there was me thinkin i had ouche in my account, hmmm!!went to somerfield and picked up some crisps and some other bits and bobs only to have my card declined!!then i went to the cashpoint to see the damage of last weeks shopping!!!YE PARIPA!!!(yes, my 9ja lingo is effed)!!my account was in a bad way!!lol!!no biggie!!!ill call CBN tomorrow!

so my question for you all today is this....

SO THERE IS ALL THIS TALK OF THE THIRD MAINLAND BRIDGE AND ALL RIGHT? BUT WHERE IS THE FREAKIN FIRST AND SECOND MAINLAND BRIDGE??IS IT A CASE OF THIRD TIME LUCKY OR SUMMAT?
SO WHERE ARE THE OTHER TWO BRIDGES???
FOOD FOR THOUGHT EVERYBODY...GOOD NIGHT and ill holler soon about one stupid useless mumu head of a GM rat!!anyho, thats for next time along with one parry i went to that was silly to say the least!!Its like these days the 9ja community is nurturing guys with big cars and small brains!!-are these tomorrows leaders??please o!!!i put too much money into First banks shares to have the country collapse!!
Peeps need to fix up-

Oh, i noticed a website that i thought was quite aight...sturvs.com...D'banj the razzo that he is was doing the usual 'no long ting' lingo...i mean, does anyone know of a 9ja artist that has as limited a vocab as he? and the other thing he says that makes me wanna just give him one mama back hand cos you put your hand in the pot to steal meat is 'my jammo friends call me skibanj'!!!Does he really have jammo friends???

oh and another thing thats REALLY PISSING ME OFF is these omo naijas with fake awon Americana accent when they never even step foot inside country!i know some have and you can tell the genuine ones but the other razzoz who wan kill us just for their pronounciation of ALana alone-kai!!chicks have suffered men!!at one parry sef, see one Ibo dude givin us some mad Americuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr mhoves main!!i was itching cos it was so bad- like reallllly!!
K, ive deleted Arinze from my phone book, gettin attached like one mumu head-suppose thats what happens when you spend your days and some nights chillin with someone!!allow this...im not about to go down the path of ANOTHER MR. A!!-Flippin hell, im still not even over MR. A so i think i need some time with my thoughts!! The devil is a liar!!

k, sorry, this wasnt a quickie, but im off now,
but my song line for this week is from brandy's have you ever...was gonna do my usual remix but i couldnt be bothered- spent this week convincing all my friends that 9ja guys are foolish and are not worth any amount of gari!!seriously, they are not worth it!!
so heres the line for my stupidness of likin Arinze in this not so sensible way..
'have you ever liked somebarry so mush ee makes you mumu?,
have u ever nee'red somethin so bad, you'd use ur last MTN credit?'
hae you ever tried to find the words, but ur bain don soft?
hav u ever, haaaaaaavee you ever?

its a but late to be makin up songs, sorry if its dry but its me...step back if you dont wanna catch drought!
ciao

o ti to men!!!

2007-08-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

Ive had it with 9ja guys!!!AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!bloody fools!!! Go and annoy someone else-honestly cos Ive had it!!!-k, arinze isnt playin up but others are and its getting on my nerves co sim thinkin this guy might slip up and that'll be the end of me ever thinkin of even trying to even allowing myself to marry one!!aaarrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!%&*kin heck!!ass innn!!is it so hard to be well mannered?REALLLYY!!!-i cant really go into detail but i will do when i feel more comfortable!!

So the funny things that happened to me this week are:
-Met a stupid tout!!guy was tryna holler and i just shouted at him!!i didnt really care-im tired of guys tryna holler!!-I DONT WANT YOU U UGLY MINGER!!

pops has finally popped out...

2007-08-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

k, this might be a long one so ill make it into 3 sections- you all are familiar with my writing style so you standarly know that this is gonna be some madly disjointed shiznikkle!!
k, so arinze...can you really reallly like someone as a summer thing??ok, we're not doing nothing(im not that kind of babe- aids is real) but we jam, we talk and theres that *awkward moment* where stuff is supposed to happen but i usually fill it up with 'havee you seen that thing on you tube' and sharpishly fly across the room to the comp....i should stop teasing myself o cos one day instead of youtube, itll be 'have you seen my knockers'?lol!!thatll never happen....

onto my weekend just passed....kai!!what a joke and a half!!!went out with the girls and had a freakin blast!!we decided to try something different...instead of the pretencious 9ja crowd of student(this is between the age of 17 and 29-u know about those boys that always flop and move uni and change course-we all know of one...lol)

anyho, so we tried something a little grimey and goodness(or as someone sometimes says 'koodness') we had a whale of a time!!so we get into the club(this is not traffic bar by the way...that gist is another time Flakster) so we're approaching the club now and i tell my friend to check if its bumpin cos the music sounds loud which indicates an empty club. lo and freakin behold, its empty-ish...we still walk in and the bouncer guy is tryna halla at babes!!allow, it aint going down...- we now enter....i do the usual feelin like a celeb even though the bank wouldnt even allow me to take out £10...lol-men times were hard but thanks to pops men!hes not only lookin over my shoulder but hes also lookin over my account!!

anyho we enter the club and ITS A FLIPIN SAUSAGE FACTORY!!a slags haven!!see guys just staring at moi and my segzy babes!!anyho,we find a place in this club thats decent enough for us girlies and start scoping talent-i tell you, i was better off watching Hannah Montana or watchin paint dry than this!!kai!then one jammo guy now tries his luck with me and im freakin scared cos im thinkin i cant do the usual move i do to 9ja guys cos the guy could just knife me up in the club -no long ting!!anyho, the guy comes up to me and says 'b(e)aby, ya t(e)all!!Ow tall a yah?' this guy is like 6"3 with dreaklox and his shoes and nazty...like some golf shoes that have been on sale for the last 4 years in one dodgy sports shop in the ghetto of south east london(no offence to anyone out there)!!

anyho, so the guy is now yarning and chicks dont understand a thing...i used to think i was down, as innn i understood all the man dem lingo with all the innit and brap get me, but i was not ready for this...so the guy now asks my name...me too shook thinkin 'this guy could have a gun ooo...no rude Vindi tonight...so hes like 'so was yah neame'? im like 'Vanessa'-lol!!that is far from my name the flipin joke...shout out to 'Instrument' and 'Rosie'!!!lol!!-the names we made up...so the guy is like 'can i hav ur nomba?' cos the guy was jammo, the qn sounded more like 'gimme ur numba or me ah go shoot yah in dis pleace'!!so i tell him my phone is with my friend...he was like which one??i was like uhh, this one and i ask her for my phone..she replies(understanding the manoevre that im tryna pull here) and says its in the cloakroom in her jacket!! anyho, this is 12 and at 3 we decide to ouddie!!this is how the guy is using his phone in the club to scope babes legs!i didnt notice but my friend did and i was livid when i found out..i kept wonderin y she was laughin!!there was me doin sexy Vindi in the club and there he is doin FBI investigation on babes legs!!lol!!

so basically, 3 hrs later after the guy basically sat the whole night in silence near us, when it was time to leave, he now asks for my number and i have to provide the phone and i do...reluctantly... lemme just add that the guy (mr jammo) did attempt convo but it was impossible...

THE LANGUAGE BARRIER WAS SEVERE!!!I DIDNT KNOW WHETHER TO GET UP AND WALK OR JUST TELL HIM TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!

in the end i settled on laughin cos i assumed that this was his objective seein as he was tryin to chat me up!!so i laughed!!assss innnnn, I LAUGHED MY HEAD OFF!!!i didnt get a word but as i had eyes and he was pointing at ppl in the club, i assumed he was laffin at the same thing...my friend was like...'Ahhh, Vindi, thats the language of Lurve you dont say the right stuff but you understand eachother...'
dont mind her, someone put crack in the gari water she drank!!!anyho, i had to reassure her that it was the language of 'i love my life and im not havin no jammo cut it short cos im in my snobbish mode'...

thats where the story ends seein as ive stored him as JammoDPU1-Jammo dont pick up 1!!lol!!

this is one guy...didnt tell arinze cos its not a big deal, chicks are just catchin trips and we arent going out-nor is it one of those, 'we;ll see how it goes things' cos guy knows where i stand on sex and its not on top of him!!lol!-me and my dry jokes are back...

flakster, holler at babes...feelin majorly out of your life...and what did that useless tout do to u...im seeinhim tomorrow so do you want me to step on his toes'accidentally'??i tend to do that a lot in a 9ja crowd full of pretencious 9ja boys who look like numbers 1 to 97 of the Ralph Lauren polo shirt catalog!!theres the big pony crew, then the pink pony club, then the headache bobby V crew, and the classic colours...i dont have time for the rest like the mitchelin man crew aka the guys that wear tight ralph lauren showing more than Vindi can handle!!lol!

k, off to bed now, hav 2 look fresh tomorrow
p.s. miss pearse, help me o!!im off to a parthy tomorrow and i know he'll be there!!!had some wild idea of stealing him from the parry and showing him a bit of the area...lol..not MY area but th3e area as i used to live where the parry is...God help me!!ill just allow it and do stoosh babe!!!

Part 2 will be on tuesday when i get that job...AMEN!!I CLAIM IT IN THE NAME OF JESUS!!

Anyho, ive got to decide what to wear, linens or tight sailor skirt and pastel shirt with paster blue jumper slung across my shoulder with some beads!

Well, got to go, love yall(miss pearse, yes o, the L word...deal with it.lol!!)

peace!

hey...been v.busy....doin nothing

2007-07-25T03:39:00.001-07:00

lol!!peeps...i have gist oooo!!but pops is behind me and his eyes are too sharp!!!it involves getting caught out in cricklewood enuf times, some sainsburys move in 02 centre and in willesden and a yardie tryin to move to chicks!!aaaaarrrgggghhhhh!!!with dreadlox!!!i wanted to spit!!!k, i cant discuss it now but i will do when pops pops out!!oh and i went to traffic!!that chris guy is such a tout!!!what is wrong with him!!he needs to get his heart broken!!guy was all lookin at babes like i knew him!guy needs to chill o!!before i bring out the hulk in me!!

oh and babs were lookin howt!!!as in....im not one to blow my own trumpet but...PRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!darn!!!tooo mad!!i gave then celebrity entrance followed by an ever so glamorous look around the room and air kisses to peeps i knew!!i had to slap myself and say its not my parry!!

Tiaje was kewl!!nice voice-very shocked cos sometimes 9ja boys say they can sing and they just sound like a goat choking on gari whilst drinkin palm wine!!!lol!!

oh and i saw HIM in cricklewood- and i blasted niggz men!!chicks were lookin howt(again, i know) and so i could do them moves!!-

but onto the arinze!!the guy is SOOOOO nice!real nice!!and u know where he lives?yep you guessed it!!in northwest london- so the buka move is yet to happen but it will soon!!guy knows his restaurants and me i was soo tripped i just ate my life away!!i feel a double chin!!lol!!its kinda cool cos we catch the maddest trips!!i didnt think he was the kind but he is sooo funny!!
well got to go and fry yam for the fam!halla

my day trip round London

2007-07-04T16:54:00.000-07:00

so i went round London over the last few days- from brent cross to brompton road, from king street to knightsbridge and onto ken high street.
K so the gari seller didnt call back but the |Arinze move is goin smooffly!!guy nice o!!- summer runs are always smoof|!!sorry miss pearce, there is no way im swappin 100% joblessness with a life and a real job!!allow men!!-but do feel free to sponsor my trips to all the parrys- i was supposed to be at belle de jour but somehow somehow im in Hendon central sippin pimms and lemonade at 12 in the morning!!-

i got my results and all i mcan do is thank God!!!wooo hooo!!!k, i didnt get a first but i sha passed!!!-the lord is amazing!2:1 baby!!!2 freakin 1!!Yosh, i know you were praying!!-lol- i dont know nadas- pimms talking- but thanks for the well wishing!!

ewwww....went to 02 centre today-not the dome one- the 9ja 9ja jobless hang out zone in north west london that every1 calls local- for even the ones amongst us that live in kent!!k, the massive EWWWWW is for the mouse we saw in weatherspoons as we sipped on out Jamaican dust pitcher(this was after the Pimms Pitcher we had)-no the plan was not to get ouddie!!!- but i saw someone i didnt want to inside that weatherspoons so i sat near the front-cos not only were chicks lookin ha ha ha haha hawwtt!! but to also man check- thats my new hobby now ive fapped(nicked) my sisters oyster card!!-
talkin of oyster cards(slater youll understand when you try using public transport in London), ive started the remix of Rihannas song Umberella cos it just keep 'rainin rainin..' so here goes- its only two lines but its about those 9ja scrubs
'i thought you had a car,
but then you brought out oyster
razz KC boy posing with Mazda
with that your friend from asda..'

ok so the songwriting style is not conventional but id like to think of it as a cross between lily allen and Neyo- i can hear the fam sayin 'neyo ko, neyo ni!!!'

so in brent cross, some small babe with her moms was there on the 189 bus(yes, i get a bus so what- chicks are broke- aint about black cab until i start given u guys £100,000 salary after tax!!amen and amen!!!
anyho, the small babe had one shirt with writing on it....so you know me with my google eyes went to scope the lil oyinzy babe(oyinbo, for those of you who dont know)
so the shirt said 'trust me im a virgin'- i was like huh,?? and your moms allowed you to wear or even consider buying this|???i was like 'i should bloody hope so man'!!-14you know!!!

oh, on saradey, in cricklewood now, on a bus again!!this time i got caught o- me with my big eyes again.who sent me???anyho, i was noww on the 189 about to give my friend some douche cos i owed her and her moms werent givin her douche to sponsor her binge drinkin-lol shed abuse my life if she knew i said that- its all luv 'nicky'!! so she went to one parry called dune- which was off the hizzle from my sources!! so i was on the bus, and something drags my big eyes to that new crown hotel, the one near iceland and across the road from mc donalds- so my eyes go outside and who do i see??k, not HIM...but hims bum chum!!on e of his boyfriends(i calll him boyfriend cos i know 9ja boys are severly homophobic) anyho, i look out and i see him, the guy looks at me and me i look back-something in my head tells me to just not say hello- so i just keep staring- and so does the guy!!!i was in shock!!!lol!!AAZZZZZZ INNNNNNNNNNNN....the morasuka!!!what is he feelin like?he doesnt know my passport is not green like his- when they deport his ass- lol!!im only playin i got a green one too!!
it was so funny cos i saw him just look at me like 'so you see me and you cant say hello'- ode ni e!!you dont know i know every1 in cricklewood willesden, golders green, swiss cottage and west hampstead!!!fewlish trout!!!

k, went to oxford street on sat and saw one sharp dapper dresser...men, i had to check myself!!guy had one white zip up athletic type top with some gold writing on the back with some sexy ass gucci trainers- whoever you are- the fashion police would be very proud of you as a model citizen!!well, it was raining and i managed to take myself to the waffle zone and buy waffles with two scoops of ice cream and i chopped it in the rain!!!some of it fell in my brolly but who sends??it was bond street belgian waffles!!-

oh, how could i forget, flakey, there is one guy at 02 for you- he works in Nandos- the name is Aziz!!- nice lad- and youd get a free chicken so its not bad really!!!he was very nice to me when i went today- ive never had service like that in nandos- 'is your food ok madam' did you want anything else with your meal madame' can i get your number madame- ok not that far but men!!

so had a dream about awon geezer- not him actuallly cos i dont dream like that!anyho, had a dream he called me and all i saw was his name flash up on my phone but i didnt pick up!!i dont get it! what the heck does this mean!!anyho, im over him so its all good- i know im over him now cos i dont caLL HIM A TWAT ANYMORE!!WOOO HOO!! anyho,in the dream after he called, i told myself that id call him back, but i never got round to it cos really and truly i had other things doing and then momsi went to go and wake me up to hoover-again!!!aarrggghhh!!!-

anyho if anyone knows what it means then do enlighten me. i have rebuked anybad thing it means and i hope that God can shed light!!

oh and bill gates is no longer the richest man so there is hope for me!!-wooo hooo!!

so slater in the club was disappointing!!i was really gettting ready, had my beans(sexy, might i add) in one plate, my gari with groundnut in another....really ready to abuse- i had my 'severe abuse' hat on as well- only to find that slerra has backed out!!tut tut!!ive been exposed by one of my guy friends- damn you- youre lucky i consider you a bro,, otherwise, i would finish you...itsm all love, just dont go tellin Tunji and 'awon geezer yahoo poser poser oyster' guys!!!lol!!dont tell em i said that o!! thats how ill have to be buyin my own drinks!!!

its funny how all your guy friends have at one point tried to make funny moves before they actually settle down to be your friend and start moaning about how this and that babe is not correct and how one guy i tryin to toast me and if i like them||(heheheheh.private joke)

k, is ever1 down 4 traffic on the 17th???its supposed to be aight but belle should be madder- cant wait to see the pics on facebook!!

some tracks im feelin now by our peeps are:
2face- alphabet...
KEX-U DEY MAD- men, i heard this track in feb and i was like- WOAH!!!bruv is killin it!!!- cos its like a london ting with the garage baseline and spiced up with the raw refreshing broken english- id love to give it to you guys to hear- but if youre cool, ud have it already on you ipod!!sorry o
KEX- shako remix- one word-BOUNZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!men!!- i even played it for my 5 year old excessively britico sis and she was seriously jammin givin us some moves- i luff it tew mush!!
KEX is gonna blow up one day-such a shame my morals prevent me from being a groupie-lol!!hehehe-dont mind the pimms!!AND hes a KC lad!!that is a BIG DEAL-

k, so ive yarned enuf dust now- sorry o- this is joblessness in its almost purest form-see, i cant even be bothered to use proper grammer- i dont even use my brain anymore!!this is real joblessness!!- i just need to stop watchin the news then ill be purely jobless- but im going to the jobcentre tom in finchley road- anyone fancy a bit of lunch after???your trat obviously- i mean, i can get myself there so you dont need to worry about transport!!!

k, think im a bit gine after a few drinks at 02- let me remind you that

WEATHERSPOONS IN 02 HAS RATS!!!!RATS I TELL YOU!!EWWWWWWW!!!!!!FLAKSTER, dont forget your nandos move and dont say your blogcuz didnt help you out-free chicken!!

miss pearce- so how does this job thing work and is there a wat to make money without workin and without doing reading uni runz- lol- k, its not just them but the gist i hear is tew mad- those peeps like money too much o!! its all love- wish i had the balls and NO ethics or morals!!thou shall not covet thy neighbours property!!

oh, and you that works at Gap in brent cross that is mates with Akala, i see you baby!!i see you indeed- esp when i got my java chip frappucino at starbucks!!
did anyone notice that mamiwater esque statue outside selfridges??i think thats the spirit of greed!!
and starbucks has one Jazz like pic on it as well- proper freaky abi?

well got a date in buka on saturday- should be interesting- standarly having the gizzard- no its not arinze-and no, im not an ashewo-aint nothing going down like that- i did not sign that contract o!!!verbally or otherwise sober or otherwise!!! if you are gonna pimp, you gotta pimp right!!-slater, look and learn- im sure theyll catch me cos they both are 9ja- one went to A hall and the other went somewhere else which i forgot to ask- but hes got a good rep and hes not one of those STD(sexually transmitted disease) kinda guy so my rep is in tact- u get me!!aint nothing goin on o- im a good girl who is never gonna go bad- amen and amen!!my fest will be my husband- God help me!!- its not easy o!!

k, so i still like him a lil...SHIIIIITTTTEEEEEEE!!!IM GETTING OFF THIS- FINGERS CROSSED I DONT DO SOMETHING SILLY ON anyones facebooki wall- help me please!!wouldnt mind quick ting seein as his babe has gone on holiday for a bit(a mojnnth actually- the things you can do in 30 days- Vindi, dont ven entertain the idea- its not worth the kola nut!!)...dont mind me o- its the rum now talkin- yey!!!lemme go and sleep this off- actually, ill have indo mie and meat and then go to bed!!!

bye now...has anyone seen the new type of gari- its really redish....-k, chatting s$£% now

I ez back men!!azzz innnn!!!!

2007-06-21T13:09:00.000-07:00

Yello???ow ah you??gosh being broke is not cool man!!kai- see me counting my brown coins!!lol!!so recent development!!
I text him one text like this that basically said what i shouda said like a million and one years ago but you know my luck aint that bounz so he only got half the message-had one of those *some text missing* thing at the end cos the message report said it didnt send fully!! anyho, the msg went something along the lines of:

'Hey x, i really dont know what posessed me to restart(i know shelling. i was damn ouddie) talking to you, but i suppose curiousity got the better of me. Anyho, i think its best i stop callin(well, he didnt object cos he didnt text back and its not anything he can control) and to be honest, you still have a babe and regardless of that, you have less to offer than i want. well all the best in your professional development im sure you'll excel beyond even your own expectations(cos this guy is arrogant so this is some serious big ups). Drunken text messages are not the best way to emotionally articulate ones self but thats all i can offer you. bye.'

i actually dont know what to say about it really- it was a drunken mess- allow chicks!!slarra- im sure you know we are dealing with a mad woman!!anyho, on to better news- i found me a new target!!-oh yes- Mr Arinze!!-yes i know, hes Ibo and i dont really go for em but anyho, we shall see innit- summer has only just begun!!- there is one parry that i know hell be at and all i can say is God help him!!-main!!the outfit is tooooooooo mad!!im talkin sexy and classy with a bit of retro chucked in!!- gwen stefani and got shit on me!!!- this geezer is kinda sharp- goes to a good uni(none of that Thames Valley nonsense-no offence but thames valley= sweet valley= a complete joke mate)!!!- but anyho, its fair to say i will not be going there again- k i said that b4 but this time its different!!-i hope- was gonna call tom tho!!lol!!pretend i didnt send it but then i told myself 'who am i kidding??-i can do better than that!!'!!

anyho, went across london today, in search of shares- all i wanted was to purchase first bank shares!!-but what happened- flipin 9ja bank went to take this berreful babe to LEWISHAM!!!!YES I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!i was ill!!!k, i didnt actually get to LEWISHAM-ended up at canary wharf and waited for popsi to go there only to find out that the address that First bank gave for international stock purchases was somewhere else, and tehn pops was given a number of some citibank branch- he now called and they were now like 'sorry but we cannot actually deal with this stock purchase' and they gave him one number in LAGOS!!!!-AAARRRGGHH!!!-well chicks were scoping goiz in canary wharf who were on their lunch break- too mad!!-

oh my days, i didnt even tell you what i saw, this asian couple(no onler than 21) came out from the hood bit of canary wharf station all adjusting their clothes!!yes o!these people were doing the main steez!!!i was like huh!!!???what is this???oh my days!!these young people of today.....men- they got balls!!i just looked at them in disgustt and then burst out laughin!!!- so back to the first bank shares malarkie!!so cos we couldnt actually purchase them here, we had to call some stock brokers we(k, my popsie) knew- but for some unknown reason, peeps were not pickin up!!there was this one guy that we really needed to contact cos the deadline was today and so we HAD to sort it out today- this was 4 o clock now and banks close at 5!!!so we were really rushing- 5 o clock came and went and still no word- i was gutted cos i just managed to land a healtthy number of shares after some negotiation with ma pops and sis for me galavanting across to saaf side to go and buy shares!!- so now at 6 o clock, one of my many business peeps in nige(k, my sisters but dont watch that) called to say that the deadline had been extended to july!!lol!!what a waste!!!its all good sha!cos i was soooo tired as well- woke me up from sleep at 11am in the morning!!i need a job!!

so ive got this arinze guy that im about to kill and some other moves here and there but we wont disclose yet cos thats work in progress!

oh my days- today i cricklewood!!!!i saw the scariest weave ever!!!see peroxide blond, see white, see burgrundy see purple( im soooo sure there was green but i dont wanna go ott)the weave was mad!!!i wanted to die!!!

anyho, paries gallore this hols, is it anonymous??is it fetish??sweet escape??rouge, belle de jour??ann ahnnn!!!too many parties!!but ill be hitting only belle and sweet escape and rouge!!!halla!!- the outfits are gonna be as cam'ron says 'KILLAA!!!!,killa!!!!!!!

well i gotta go now, peeps are shouting at me cos i been ill for 3 days- pray for me!!!as in the other day i got up really ill and i was like daddy, i think im gonna pass out- this was at 4 in the morning!!!this has happened two nights in a row now!!!

so flakey, now im unemployed, start organising Direct debit to my acct o!!!brokeness is not bounz!!!went to buka FAZE 2 today- the gizzard was MADDDDD!!really hot tho- need to excuse myself now- need to go and powder my nose(a.k.a - drop some WMD's- aka throw some D's aka evacuation of dollis hill)!!
sorry for being a tad crude!!!well see yall at belle de jour or rouge!!!
ciao-

You've started again!!

2007-06-08T16:47:00.000-07:00

I forgot to tell you what MR told me when he was askin me to come and talk to him outside(see last post)!!!when i said 'no' he said
'youve started again'!!!6
can you imagine??a whole VTI!!!like im a small child!!thats the thing with silly 9ja boys!!!them and their inferiority complex!!!silly mumu head!!!anyho, i sha told him that i was not his kid for him to be talkin to me like that!!KC boys have really bad communication skills!!lol!!- at least he doesnt sound RAZZ!!!lol!!-thats one thing ill give him credit for-not a razz bone in his body(im sure he has a few- heard him doin one funny funny britico accent to his flat mate- just had to raise my eyebrow over the phone- something like 'wos gowin on maite'-i was dying)

anywhew.............
I kinda went to go and call him!!curiousity got the berra of me innit!!now im the mumu head and it really is Mr X-4 VTI-2 cos i boned but.....i didnt do it for long enough to get full points!!!
Ok so he has started his summer runz thanks to me!!!-how daft is that??ive actually let someone and encouraged someone to run game on me!!!lol!!or as that geezer in The Dent said 'LAWL'-hehehe!!!
so i called him so we could talk and he could say what was sooooo important!!- for where!!WHEN I SAY BEAT ABOUT THE BUSH!!!!! i thought i could beat about the bush!!!the guy pass me o!!as in serious cutlass beating around the bush!!i even had to make notes!!

Anyho...i kinda spoke to him for like the best part of an hour-k closer to 2 hrs but dont watch that!!-i dunno if i loike him(i dont wanna write like cos itll make it seem real)
anywhoo, we gisted!!tried to cuss me cos im not nigerian enough!!-errr well umm lets think about this for a quick minute, ive lived here for 16 years!!!!16 years!!!and im not even 25!!he is a mumu head!!he then went on to abuse me that i was 'spoilt'- spoilt ko spoilt ni!!he obviously hasnt seen the housegirl pics on facebook!!lol!!
anyho, i dunno what kind of runz this one is but id rather suss out the game before i get all on his case again-ive already massaged his ego so ive lost very crucial bonus points!!!never mind eh!!??

so what do i do now???yes im askin you!!cos i really dunno what to do!!I specifically tol dhim that i was not ready emotionally to deal with anything he had to say for himself and its true!!!-see me crying while watchin 'in her shoes'- yes i hear echoes of 'ode ni e' from blog world!!i know!!dont tell me!!! i was just sad cos the Camron diaz went to go and nyash her sisters man!!-deep move and then the sister found happiness!!im weird- sharrap i know!!
So VTI is cryin for no freakin reason- k i was crying cos i was upset cos i actually still like him!!-WTF??i know- im special!!-this is like the worst thing that can happen to someone like me!!i mean im a flippin hard babe!!!who the heck is he!!!-my mu squared friend went to go and give me the l word-no, not lesbian and not like...its the other other other word that i dread soooooooooooooo much!!as in, its one thing thatll make me avoid someone forever!!
I cant even bare the thought of me liking him to the 'L' extent!!AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!somebarry save me!!!

k. ok!!he wont find out but why the heck do i feel like this!!-flippin miserable cos i aint spokent to him!!-i feel a blogger slap from flakey trying to shake me up!!am i drunk or something??have a unknowingly started smoking beans again and gari??is it too much village palm wine???this one is mad!!

i still cant get over the fact that i cried!!-and i have deleted all the gay songs i havbe on my i pod so i dont accidently shuffle to that song!!-iuts funny how before the songs had no meaning but now its like the songs were written for me!!!-lol!!for example the old school song 'somebody elses guy' and pinks 'stupid girl'!! teedra moses 'be your girl'!!AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!all these songs- i still have kelis's 'i hate you so much right now' and the usual wu tang stuvvs!!

K so we gisted for a while-but why is that makin me shake??as in b4 i called-see chicks hand shakin by the window- i think its cos mentally, i knew i had lost so i was physically trying to hold it together!!never mind!!

so my plan of action is this, on tuesday(if i can actually hold out until then), i will text him and say

'hey X, tis i.i really am not sure if this is some kind of silly game but i tend to lose games. and if this is part of your summer runz then really and truly, cross moi off the list.I dont need your type of wahala.honestly.I called cos i thought you actually had something to say but as it is, you are unwilling to disclose this so called 'very important' piece of information. If or when we speak again, if you still choose to not tell me, then we'll just end it there cos life is about progression and id rather not regress. Its not an ultimatum but know trhat when i called you the other day, I personally wanted to know what you had to say for yourself, regardless of what my friends had told me, be it excuse or for me to understand but you were not satisfied with my excuse for wanting to know-i suppose your way of dragging things out-typical 9ja guy(i know he'll love this cos u know 9ja guys like to feel different even though they could open a ralph lauren store between them-lol). so if this really is a summer move then pele. im not down for rubbish. I dont mind cutting you off-ive dont it before and i liked you wayyyyyyyy more then so this one is just a small ting!!I dont mind being your friend and in all honesty, thats all someone like me is emotionally capable of so dont worry, its not that deep. all the best mr casanova

think i said all i had to there but how the hecka am i gonna write that in a text- thats like 10 messages!!might as well be writing an essay!!!
do you think im bearing too much seein as we just started yarning again and he still(i think) has a a girlfriend or a main babe!!- I REFUSE TO BE 'THE OTHER GIRL'!!!!God forbid!!

Mr fineguy, you see what i mean with Yourubz goiz??the funny duddy games and strategies!!If he just says, 'VTI lets just be doin things on the side' then i know what to do-FASHI!! and if its some other deep move, (something 'genuine' dare i say) then ill consider it cos i do like him but he does tooo many funny moves!!!ahh ahhhhn!!We shall see innit!!-but there is one thing im stickin to 'no ring, no ting'!!lol!!standard!!-thats one thing that God has helped me with!!i know ppl say its hard in the 21st century but im covered by the blood of Jesus so nadas is gonna happen!!

So he is always laffin!!-im not likin it cos i think hes laughin at me as in LOL 'this babe, ur an ode' kinda laugh and not a 'gosh ur witty' kina thing!! as in... i dont think you understand-he is always laffin like one goat-mu squared!!fewlish gorlla!!I know im not that funny, my dad always tells me!!but then again, i do come up witht he most rediculous things to say!!i dont do it intentionally but i really think my brain is not conditioned for anything that is remotely classes as normal!!

heard he got 69 in his work!!-me and my ears sef!!sharp geezer innit!!-he is yet to shell!!-when he does ill laugh cos in the text i sent him i threw some mad shellz!!im sure he was laughin and tryin to take me seriously when he got that text!!!

Is that message ok to send or is it toooo much pho-neh for a KC guy!!lol!!anyho, lemme know peeps!!my life aint bee n this messed up in a while!!and to top it off, my other mate Mr backup decided to not pick up my call today- is it a conspiracy??

laters peeps

oh my days!Ive finished

2007-06-03T11:01:00.000-07:00

YEs everybody...im now a graduand!!wooooho!!!bring out the dom perignon homie!!!this is a toast to all the people on blogger that have helped me in perbably the most emotional year of my life!!!golly gosh!!

anyho....see drama this weekend. i didnt want to say anything to jinx it but a while back i said i would start blogging on the 3rd of june for a reason-i was goin got this event on the second and i knew, I KNEW and i re-repeat, i knew that something jweezy (juicy) was gonna happen!!

so here what happened!!
went for an event following the end of my undergraduate life in one zone like this!!flippin hell. thought i was looking a bit mank(ugly) but i sha dressd up with my new hair and my MAD dress!! so i got there and everything....and ohhhh my day!!!i have never seen a nasty lookin bunch of people in my life(apart from my sexy ass friends and i) gowsh we were lookin tooo mad!!!
so i saw one geezer- the one i hate-ok i dont really hate him but i sha dont really care. saw him enuf tims before i even bothered to even ja him face cos the way i see things is that things were on a sour note and he is just an ass(said in a american accent-halla)!! so anyways now- the geezer was there-i just looked him up and down like anything- he gave one of those sheepish boyish looks which usually would make me feel a bit funny and my chest muscles(i dont have a heart you see) would start going 'ti je ti je ti' but this time i was soooo over this one!!-the way i see it is that i tried with him- hes even lucky that i responded to him especially cos hes friends with that dude that kissed and over over over told!! anyho, lemme set the scene....

VTI is sitting in the corner minding her own business-loookin soooo fly and im not even understating nothing!!i was lookin radient,ravishing and blommin regal!!anyho, i had just swapped shoes with my friend cos hers were hurting and everything and so i gave her mine!!anyho...these shoes were like 4 inches and mine were 2.5 so the difference was amazin-as in owwwmazing!!!talk about pain!!-i always wear flats as in always so when i got up and saw him i was like oh dear-lets hope i dont throw my dring at him-but i downed it instead-
anyho now, there was no way of avoidin him so i just did wharevva men!!had to walk through him to go to the bar for another stiff drink so i didnt say to him wat was really on my mind!!so as i got up my feet nearly gave way as in i wanted to die!!-so i managed to compose- so now our eyes met-he was smiling and i was not Catherine Tate bovvered i just gave one of my random fake smiles cos i really was not pleased to see him!!

so heres the conversation:
*he smiles-she looks through him like 'does this face look bovvered'
it-what are you doin here?(in a polite i think im funny kinda way)
sexy VTI-(also deaf VTI at this point)'huh'
it-what are you doin here?
VTI- im lost
it-when did you come?
VTI- today
it-when ar you leaving?
VTI- ....(ok at this point these questions are just simply silly and im getting beyond tired of these same ol same ol questions-but then again 9ja boys arent one for originality-as in if Jayz or diddy aint worn it, its not cool)-'look, ill speak to you later'
and that was the end of that...until later on!!see me see wahala!!there was an after party-
how many times can you play d banj why me???gosh- for a sec i thought it was for me- lol!!the words 'get paranoid much??' came to mind

so at the after parry, chicks had to change and give them some new baffs now...as Black Jesus says 'its by force by force'!!lol!!
looking again tooo fly!!what can i say...its not reazy!!lol!!

so anyhow, lookin fly so no wonder the goizer started his uselessness again!!
so he now sees me and smiles-like proper grinning-and i am not impressed cos i said i wasnt gonna go to the after parry cos it was at his house with that mutant rat known as his friend!!
anyhow now he smiles and sees me and a give the most confused face. so hes now there lookin for me to respond but i no go gree
it- so should i not be smiling
VTI-*blank face*
it-so how are things?
VTI-(not bovvered at this time cos i thought my chest muscles would tense up and everything but i was just there lookin at him)- i just gave him the chinese ok sign
it-whats with the one word answers
VTI-im fine and you?
it-look can i talk to you outside?
VTI-*by this time awon geezer had already grabbed my hand-i sha moved it cos i was not feelin that move at all!!!''no'
it- why not?i just wanna talk to you for like 2 minutes
VTI- NO!!
it-0dont you think its a bit rude that you dont even want to listen to what i have to say?
VTI-no not really
it-*he repeated the same thing again*
VTI- ok i know its your house and in that respect i think its rude but i dont really think its rude
it-forget about it being my house-irrespective of that- you dont want to hear what i me out-(or something like that)
VTI- err no. I dont
it- so you dont want to know what i have to say
VTI- *slight hesitation cos you know i really wanted to know but i flippin boned man!!!yes-chicks maintained!!i was soooooooo proud of myself cos i coulda easily just sed ok but that owuld have meant that it was Mr X- 4, VTI -1 cos this game was about double points!!

so he now went and said 'ok.fine.and he went off'- im sure it really wasnt that important-so i keep telling myself- well unless he was gonna propose!!-lol!!-im just jokin!!God forbid bad thing for me yo marry some Yourubs geezer!!i rebuke all bad things over my life in the name of Jesus!!
so that was the end of that.
his cousin was like you ok VTI?i was like 'yeah im good' he now went are you sure i was like yeah-even tho i was thinkin 'yeah, your cousn is a twat' but its only cos i was brought up with manners that i allowed it and cos as much as i really dont like him like that-im still human you know so i still have compassion of idiots!!-lol!!
anyho, thought about him today and got that stupid ugly feeling!!AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!its cos my friend said something to me and i was like -oh no!!i really dont wanna like him again!!that was sooo annoying!!!his girlfriend is wayyyyyyyyyyy to nice to have me likin her man!!I dont e

Randomation...not an interesting post

2007-05-21T10:04:00.000-07:00

so, ppl. whats the deally. exams are round the corner and i is blogging!!i need to get serious. After this blog, ill be MIA til the 3rd!!i need to men!!-First class dont come eazy!!
anyho, today, went shopping with my imaginary money!!NEed to call pops for douche men!!-i aint broke or nothing but i need some stuvvs to buffer me up during the parry season- you get me!!-Courvorsier and Dom Perignon rose dont come cheap you know- I aint the type of chick that allows guys to buy them drinks at the bar cos at the end of it, what if the guy cant afford you?that would be mucho embarrouzzing!!-
k as you can tell, this blog is random banter about the not so important things that are going on in my oooo soooo not interesting life!!On the other front, i got me some shoes!!ok, im making it sound like a big deal like i dont have shoes but these are bounz!!!as in......they are from office and i cant wait to rock em!!Ive got a mad shoe fetish!!as in i love mens shoes!!i can tell a man by his shoes!!no, really!!all them 9ja boys that went to buy the classic chuck taylors-i know who you are-think nowadays they do the whole vans and all that but they should just leave that to me!!i been collectin Vans since i was a wee toddler!!-k not really- started about a year ago but dont tell anyone cos they'll think im not cool anymore!!lol!!

on another note, ive finally written all my revision notes and so its about major jacking!!Its time to thank God!!As in really, he is good, wonderful and merciful!!

K, someones uncle is charrin to me in the uni compurra harea!!warris gohin hon!!Peeps should allow me!!WHY!!!its not fair, cant you disturb someone else!!-yes and again today in town, one uncle Titus Babatunde went and smiled at me- Mr 3 ft 7 emerges again but with a different face!!gosh!!LEAVE ME ALONE!!this time i laff it off cos the geezer is just smiling like i just told him he was going to heaven!!

I need a new purse!!gosh this tattered leather Dior one is sooo finished!!ive had it for 3 or so years and it has really suffered!!-its quite big-some of my frineds call it a portfolio but i dont care cos when i bought it, i thought-correction, i knew i was bounz stuvvidelingos!!ah ahhhhh!!i really felt like one hot mama!!any opportunity to bring it out, see me carry my head and my wallet (which some people argue have the same dimensions) to the student shop just to buy Ribena!!-yes im still a kid!!Ribena rocks tho-as in i really dunno why they dont sell it in clubs!!i was sooo happy when my cousin introduced me to Zobbo(cant spell)!!It made my trip to nige manageable-sippin on some malibu laced zobbo and pineapple- im not an alchie-i just like cocktails!!
Anyho, back the the situation- i need a wallet!!the problem is if i spend money on a wallet, i wont have money to put in it!!-so whats a lady to do?The wallet i want is about £300- its not my fault that only Oscar De la Renta makes brown and olive ostrich leather purses with gold trimmings!!-gosh the thought of that bag!!!-Anyone willing to donate???-never mind- looks like its daddy dearest once again!!-i cant believe it!!-im graduating and i still get money from my parents!!-yes i can hear the abuse now, 'you should be ashamed of yourself VTI'- ok- ill chill on the purse!!ill get some more shoes from Offices vintage range and a pair of pink flamingo vans(either that or the ones with the snakes-but i know momsi will not allow that in the house-shell be telling me about some demonic stuvvs)!!
so pink flamingo vans and some more sexy shoes!!
K ive got a PJ party to attend and i dunno what to wear!!i was thinking.....tracksuit bottoms and a baggy tshirt(with a bra oooo)!!I dunno tho- dont wanna be lookin manish- but the shirt would have the statement 'Have you got the H factor?- Nigeria'-lol!!-do you get it?like X factor but for nige!!k, it wasnt that funny but allow me, my brain has been doin funny stuff of late!!dry jokes men- im only doin the shirt cos the pesin thats havin the parry is the one that 'kissed and over-told'(thanks JB) (see the previous post)- and hes got a mad h factor!!lol!!lmao!!hehehehe-im so mean-so what!!

oooohhhhh...today was just funny!!-k it wasnt really like lmao and piss myself laughing while trying not to cough up my lungs but it was aight!!-theres this one babe (VF chicka to be specific) that goes to ma uni and she was like 'oh, VTI, we are planning a trip to Milan for a day...' 'no thanks.ive been already.' the babe was like 'oh' and then afterwards she continued and i was like 'but anyway, milan is not somewhere you can do in a day...all the shops and Il Duomo..nah'-she just looked at me like 'uh ok.'

i dunno what posessed me- dont know what i was feeling like!!Think i did that cos i just wanted to feel- sometimes the babe likes to do one kind one kind and im not feeling it!!-k the chick is razz and her 9ja accent is tick(thick)!!its like she just came of the boat men!!slurred speech and just that whole slow 9ja-im-a-VF-babe- and shes not even that buff!!k, shes a fine babe but she aint all that to look at me!!One thing i can comment her for is her razzness coupled with her confidence!!-she doesnt kno how razz she is which makes her just tooo funny!!!- i do like her, dont get me wrong but sometimes i feel like she doesnt realise that this is Jand and nobody gives a monkeys about your surname!!-her surname aint even something well known- shed prolly have to go to her remote village before anyone even acknowledges her-but me-ahh ahhhhh see chiks 'flawwwzzzen' in ABJ- from when chicks land at Nnamdi Azikwe- see all the soldiers-back straight-see police escort!!-its not easy i tell you!!-ok slight exaggeration- the soldiers back is straight cos he just saw commander and police escort is for the car in front of me!!-i dont wish to have it tho-draws more attn to me- and i get enough as it is in that tinted clk!!ko eazzzzeee-i know!!i do like bussin effizayyy once in a while tho-just for trips mainly!!

this brings back memories of ABJ.....

i remember once, my sisters tutor(can u imagine, we went on holiday and my popsi put my sister in a private summer tution class-lol-daddy-i luff u mehn) saw us walkin from our cousins house one late evening!!thats how, when we entered (we decided to walk home than get our cuz to pick us up cos we wanted to feel like the normal peeps that didnt have ride for everything)
so we enter our house and then, soon after, someone is banging on the gate(that dense mettalic sound-guy doesnt realise that we have a flipin door bell outside)anyho, thats how the guy now asked the gateman if two bounz babes lived there and all-he didnt even know his pupils name hbut he was now givin the guy our vital stats!!lol!!so the gateman said he should try the other house cos no woman dey dia!!needless to say that as soon as i told popsi, that was the end of my sisters tuition!!- it used to be so bad sometimes that i would have to pick her up cos she didnt want to walk back alone- she get booty and i as big sis must protect her and the big booty!!-

anyho, dunno, im ouddie!
kisses...

when trouble sleep, yanga go wake am...

2007-05-11T08:04:00.000-07:00

sorry about the last blog-dunno what i was thinkin!!The guys is plain silly- God fogive me for not handed in my dissertation today!!!!wooo hooo!!!going to town in a bit!!!lookin like a mega tramp- my eyebrows have overgrown out my hair is a hot mess and i had to literally run to drop my diss off!!-i just kept praying to God and men lets just say God is amazing!!in the space of ten minutes, i went to the cash point, took money out, flew to the other side of the university to put money on my print card, then i had to go up a flight of stairs to print my work then go to the print shop to bind it and last of all, do some Lindford christie sprint to my department!!!When God wants to stop time, he will o!!!!as in Matrix kinda runs-
im off to town to buy a dress from Joy-either that or sleep and then go to London!!men ive missed the zones!!-gonna def do some 02 runs men!!its gorra be done innit!!i might even give them luxury meals and drop some nandos- as in funds get as e be men!!spoke to popsi yesterday cos i text my cousin who lives with us that i wanted some shares at first bank so i can start building up my portfolio!!what can i say- daddys girl!!I text my cousin at 3 in the morning!!but that one sha likes to do hardguy in Abuja and hes always out so no biggz!!
So anyho, popsi calls me-and he NEVER calls me cos he'll go on about how i love to chat bare breeze-k not those exact words *imagine daddy saying 'mate, ur chattin bare breeze'lol*
anyho, he did the whole 'I hope youre not broke....my dear VTI, my credit is running low so do take care of yourself'- lol!!this is daddy that has phone credit like 10k every week!!its his problem if he doesnt want to hear my luffly voice!!
k, so the pimping season is here-its looking a tad bit gloomy outside but im happy on the inside (that was gay abi?)
so anyho, just thought id drop a few lines- some gist of course when i go to london!!!i thank God i had time to hand in my dissertation!!wahey- so if you see me in 02, dont be afraid to halla!Im the hench lady with an insurmountable amount of facial hair and dreadlocks for braids and clothes outta camden!!lol!!not really- but you knew that anyways - Flaky, i read your bolg...............-i had to wash my eyes out with Izal men! You are mega freaky- i just went back to my work men!!

Oh dear, found out that one guys chick is on blogger that i USED TO like!!lol!!small blogworld innit?gosh...All this 9ja peeps and the 6 degrees of separation-its mad o!!say for example my class mates older brothers friend went out with my mate from college.and my mate from college later on went out with one geezer that used to work with/for my dad!!-want more?k, my other college friend(no, i had more than two but going to one of the top private schools in the south of england(see how i dropped that-lol-k it wasnt top but nucca aksss about me, nucca axsss about me...'- im teewwwww excited- i feel the urge to cook!!!fancy some egusi with shaki, dried fish and fried gizzard??yea ok then-go make it yourself!!
k, im off to town to but my skandelous dress to wear tomorrow-dunno where im going to but i sha hope its not 02!!lol- flakey, i see ur already waiting for me at the the chinese restaurant

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I DON DIE O!!!!

2007-05-09T13:33:00.000-07:00

yes o!!some fucker decided to claim my virginity magically when nothing went down!!k not nothing- GOd knows that i didnt have sex with him or give or receive bodily fluids!!
Big mouth and small penis!9ja boys and their lies!!Before i was sure he would yarn the whole of the world that he ALMOST conquered VTI but this one where hes saying he reached promised land...men...i no grab o!!!that ode!!Hes lucky that i aint got time for his useless rubbish!!so basically he told my friend that I like him!!!-i wrote a blog yday but a slip of the hand and the stuvvs was gone!!i was vex!!It had some babalawo type cusses but all ill say is this- the guy has raping potential and I wish that noone does to any of his kids what he did to me!!
Its cos Im too mannered!!the fucker!-k im sorry for swearing but this one really got to me- this is the retarded h factor unilag reject, bastard child of CROSS BREED MUTANT RAT!!K SORRY God but i had to let that one out-
My motivation is now Psalm 37 vs 7 to 11!!I just hope the guy has asked for Gods forgiveness for lying (and trying to lie with-no pun intended)his property!!you know who you are and if you are by chance reading this-God forgive you cos Im not sure if i want to!!Fair enough if stuvvs happened and then ur tellin peeps warrever, thats my own fault but this one where ur tellin peeps about VTI's promised land and all that-which chicks aint even seen kon sef is MADNESS and then to top it off ur telling my friend-MY OWN FRIEND THAT I LIKE UR SKANK ASS!??as in mate, ur smokin some sturvvs- get off your high horse you twat face and go pick the pimples off your face!!can you imagine what he told my friend when she wanted to correct him on a few stuff???-he said that I was fronting!!L-O freakin L!!!since when was ghetto blasting niggaz a sign of fronting!!??I dont like you you goat!!bloody rapist-stupid rat!should i get a shirt that says 'twat face *&^%$, i dont like ur skank ass.simon cowell has the x factor but you have the H factor'??geeez!!!!lol!!!slimy rat!!!fewwlish morafrukah!!!ode!!Ok God, sorry.but hes makin me a bit angry- not a little bit!!a lot!!
bearing in mind this haoppened well over a year ago!!as in stop holding on to old glory- its like going on about england winning the world cup in 1966!!jo as in, derry geezer, gerrout of the system!!
If he wants to lie against my name hes got another thing comin men!!my surname especially!!the fire of God will find him and either transform him or destroy him!!

k back to the revision- hope every1 is ok!!Freedom in forgiveness abi!!as in why did he have to lie about my V card stuvvs!??ehn???thats just below the belt- to say i like you is flippin laughable- you know the laughable that you roll on the floor and start crying and ten all of a sudden need to pee real bad??thats how funny it is!!May God have mercy on you cos you are a meance to society. hope all is well and all peeps-
good luck in your exams-might psot something this weekend but i cannot promise o!!
must mention flaky for her mad blog about stew!!it was sooo funny!!i remember doing it once but ive never done it since cos that was evil and madness rolled up in one men!!Ex hubby(dunno if were die-vorced), im seriously feelin the lib runz-i even tried me somma that the other day but i did it avec the whole Damsel in Distress!!im lovin it lovin it lovin it!!im loving it like this!!ciao!Peace up ajegunle town down men!!Olla men!!

yo yo yo...shek eeigh rout-razzelina in the hizzouse!!!

2007-05-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

SOMETIMES IN LIFE, OUR RETARDED FRIENDS DECIDE TO PISS US OFF WITH STUPID ASS BLOODY IRRITATING FOOLISHNESS!!
K SO MY FRIEND PISSSSSSSSSSSSED ME OF-NOT A SMALL THING- MAJORLY....AND IM NOT ONE TO BLOW MY TOP OFF(NOT IN THAT WAY YOU DERRY PEOPLE-GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE MARINA WATER)!!i HARDLY EVER GET MAD BUT IM STRESSED LIKE MY FUTURE HANGS IN THE BALANCE(AND I STILL HAVE TIME TO BLOG) AND ALL PEOPLE WANNA DO IS PISS ME OFF!!-

so back to other stuff-went to the cirry cenrra yesterday-kai- someone stole my jacket from paul smith!!the jacket is tooo mad-the last one as well- k, it was about £190 and the fit was too on point, had one of those couture kinda finishes-im using the word 'couture' lightly for akll you fashion boffins out there cos I know its a patent in France-but welcome to England!

anyhow, this jacket was bounz and they dont have any more- i even went as far as to call the paul smith store in Edinbrugh to find out if it was there!!nah men- Devil ur a liar and i will find the jacked and buy it and not eat for a week!!i am willing to do that!!

So back to some other silly ramblings, i was in the cirry cenrra at a bus stop (i know-VTI at a bus stop- what is the world coming to?-lol)so im there now yammin up some mad ass samosa i bought from the shops- its quite a warm day, im giving them some slouchy lowrise trousers and a bright hoody and am well hot-and hungry for that matter!!so im there chillin and what do i see across the road??can you guess??no its not those ghetto ass pikins pushin pikins stuvvs wearing fake von Dutch or as i like to call it 'Von no Douche' clothes head to toe!some people are really mezzed- all that cheap 'bling'...

yeah, so at the bus stop.starving like marvin earrin my samosa like some size zero model who aint eaten for a hot minute- seee me see trouble- Some random geezer is across the road taking pictures of me eating my life away!!kai!!...
i even made a lil song on the bus on my way back to my yard-
its a remix of that bit of queens bohemian rhapsody that goes
"i see a little silouette o of a manskara cush sara bush will you do the van tango, thunder bolt and lightening, very very frightening...galileo galileo...blah blah blah"
it goes
"i see a man takin piccies across the road, skara bush skara bush, and with a nicon camera... thunda fiya him, cos its very very frighteneing, kile-lei? kile-lei?"

too much time on my hands my dissa is due in a few hours!!

k, and i need to apologise to a particular member of my blog fam- broda Sleighrra, ehn- if u senz some oztiliry hin the commenth of your recent post,-sorry o-i just dey vex cos of exam stress and de fak da e true o- game work well well- i fall for am once- i even see am appen but my art no gree to ouddi that geezer-yes-u hear am fest here- VTI sed sowry- it aint pms- exams stress and the whole war the eck em i gorra do when i graduhate!??-anyho, thats 4 lines jack, back to ma blogarina gisting with some propa hinglish- my pidgeon izz heffed!!i try ha-anyhowz,

I reconciled with one of my old chums- she is actually a nice person even tho she can do stuvvs she sometimes that are effed, i know what shes about now so ive grown to like her with her faults cos God knows that as much as i try and attain perfection, i got faults too!!-did i just say that?Am i maturing?lol- wishful thinking!!

anywho, on the geezer front, i feel like such a perv- theres this one geezer that ive been giving ma free time to(as opposed to revision)- the issue is that the guy is doin his first year and chicks are in their third- i dont need advice-just wanted to blog about it you know- but feekl free to call me a paedo- k, hes like 23 and he is one of those fresh of the boat kyna goiz so its not like hes part of those guys who have been in uni 10 years- don 1st year about a minimum of 5 times and the other five times they managed to get into chichester college to do foundation year- only to fail that and start an online degree programme from a university that doesnt exist!-k im rude- its not like i go to cambridge or oxford but it sha aint Lancaster college of art, media and fake degree!!

k imma go now, boring blog- just had to get the first few lines off my chest- cos i was getting mad!!like really mad- the mad where your mom will just find anything in sight when you feel like you can stand up to her and tell her that you have feelings too!-see Hausa silpas with dunlop tire sole fly across the room!!lol-funny times men!!mommi I love you and I thank God that God chose you to be my mom- youre unintentionally funny, rude(not in a rude way, no need for slipa(slippers) flying), sharp, God fearing, compromising and a mad cook-even though lil sis said my beans was nicer than yours the other day-!!Your husband is very lucky indeed!!
and daddy- the most articulate 9ja man I know- i hope my husband is as tolerant,hardworking,God fearing, mild, funny, sarcastic(thats where i get it from), articulate, and smart as you- and loves kids as much as you do!!-the best dad when ur not working!!an absolute Legend mate!!-spending time with you is a humbling feeling!!-love you both- even though id never say this in person cos id start chokin- i think you two are amazing and I dont know what the WORLD-yes WORLD- would be without you!!-You will forever be a blessing from God!!i love you!!May the blood of Jesus protect and keep you with us to see ALL your granchildren grow into adults!!-I love you!!

didnt realise i could write all that stuff about my parents-well not in that way- thank God for blogging!!
k gorra go now, been chillin for a while now so imma go and do so mad reading
lurff u-
p.s.- does anyone kno where to get gold metallic reebok high tops from??i really wan em!!that and some shoes that are mad-

I just couldnt keep away...

2007-04-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

So I said i wasnt gonna blog til the third-which is when my examenzz finito forever...until i do a masters!!but i just had to escape from the mad world that we all live in...
not much has gone on since is last blogged.
I got turfed(pushed) back to uni to start jackin hard for that first class in all my modules(Can I get an amen?-ok then, ill say it myself-AMEN!!-I can do all things through Christ who strenthens me...)

Anyho, at Kingscross station the other day now and what freakin happens??No, it wasnt the ticket guy...it was some other metroline worker(bus driver to the rest of you beauties)...and then i see this leprachaun...-its like ive been jazzed with short babatunde lookin brodaz!!!no offence but i think i can do berra that 3ft 7!SO one short geezer now hollerz at me while im lugging all the food that i collected from yard(is it gari, is it ekamu, is it egusi? I nabbed everything from my yard before momsi could blink)- so theres VTi hobbling along the underground with 1 suitcase and 2 medium sized hold-alls!!

by the way, why do they call it A SUIT CASE?im sure if i wikipedia it, itll gimme some long ting gist about that was its intended purpose in the 'olden days'...

Anyho now, me still struggling, some Babatunde/Tokunbo now looks at me straight and as he 'accidently on purpose' brushes past me he smiles and says hello!!I was laffin like a mad goat at the station!!WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE DWARFS MEN??as in, what makes them think its ever gonna work out???like really??

can you imagine??actucally lets imagine together....a few years down the line VTI is married to MR 3 foot 7- leaving a whopping 2 foot 4 to deal with- can somebody say chronic back pain???so now 3ft 7 walks into the kitchen while VTI is makin poundo. he now tuggs at my trouser leg cos obviously, he cant reach my shoulder. VTI being all the way up there thinks its one of the children and shrug her leg to try and move what she believes to be the child...but it doesnt budge...she tries again...nothing...nadas..this pikin wants something...so she kicks it without looking only to hear a manly ROAR!!This is how domestic violence happens- I refuse to be a statistic!!

Anyho, today..im having major yam with my dissertation- went to go and see my supervisor- the guy don audi!!twat face!!when i find him ehn!!so now im there like oh sheeet!!I knock on his office door only to find one of the few nice peeps in the department that likes me...as in the guy has helped me since first year men- was givin him 70+ in his exams- one omo ghana geezer- dont worry it aint like that- hes got a wife that works at reception!!
the guy was really helpful but he didnt wanna help me too much cos its my dissertation and its supposed to be independent!!hissssssssssssss!!

I leave the office and see one chick rollin up a spliff and chillin on the carpet- so theres me- stressed out with the dissertation that is just a pain in my nyash-every time i think about it, i feel like the time i puked up after drinkin half a bottle of blossom hill and only eating a slice of bread and indomie for the whole day....horrid stuvvs

so back to the chick rollin up a mean green one in the green area outside my department- the girl looked like she was enjoyin...No i didnt want to join her but i wanted to have that kind of freedom men...JUNE 3RD!!!

hmmm hmmm hmmm...on the goiz front...geez ive done the impossible!!!no, i dont fancy any of my popsis friends- ALLOW it men!!!can you imagine daily punch magazine?VTI in love triangle withher popsis friend..

So yeah, I fancy my friends brother!!gosh. Im sooo finished!!shes gonna hang me by my hair!!im in trouble o!!hes almost as funny as me- almost but not quite!!- academically sharp guy-a corporate lad-sharp dresser- just sharp-has his own yard-music taste is on point- she is really gonna ruff me up!!it wont last for long but for the fact that i do...i class him as my older bro men- whats is this?k...ill take a step back!!

ITs bad o!!!see, there was this guy i used to like a million years ago(2 years)...anyho, dude sha found out and all...the worst thing that can happen to moi cos i start actin a fool bruv!!like real idiot!!like imagine those girls that just sharrap and stare at you when usually they are bouncin on wall and ish...- what did u say??GROW up??ok i will one day- but im just coy like that innit!
Anyho, bac to Edo boy- see this guy is just noooice- he met momsi by accident even- k we go to the same church so its bound to happen- since the guy found out chicks were feelin him, he was really pleasant and everything but i hid!!hed say wasup(to make convo, not like SOME 9ja boys that say wassup cos they are feelin like celebrities!!lol-get a grip mate)

Met him at church- plays the guitar-learnt it in 2 years- always helps out in church!!all that kinda thing-so basically VTI was worried she would corrupt him so she stopped that chess move and moved to his friend-BY ACCIDENT!!!!!I didnt know they were friends- it was only after Mr A now mentioned going restaurant hopping with Mr Edo that i was like- oh ish....in church as well!!Mr A is ma homeboy, he didnt text me back when i confessed my undying like for him but i forgave him and hes never mentioned it so im happy!!!- he likes to think hes berra lookin than me but every1 knows the deal-cos he used to model...hiss!!!Tyra called me you know!Hes always askin me about the blokes im blockin at uni but i sha blast hims with the whole 'i got too much work to be doin to be lookin after one (or more) bobos!!
I told him a few stories but the guy doesnt believe nadas(nothing) has happened since i been in uni WRT guys- hes always sayin 'One day some lucky guy is gonna make your heart skip a beat and make you cry'- he only does it cos he knows i hate all that gay shit!anyho, i dont have a tear duct and my heart skipped a beat when i bought the new Joe album!!-ok so, i am turning a bit gay and winey with regards to my music tastes- forgive me- Ill bring out my Jurassic 5 album and the roots to rock tonight so i dont go soft in my old age...

Anyho, spoke to Mr Edo and ahhhhhh, i remembered y i liked the dude when i was like 16/17- well mannered, polite, BRITISH(none of that 9ja 'Kilon pops' garbage), well spoken, God fearing and all that-lives in boujie Bayswater- i know hes notfrom north west but its west london so its ok!!!!dude was really askin when im going back to school and when im comin back and all that silly stuff- when i said mid june he was like 'really?' i was like yeah...(didnt wanna say 'cos i gotta party ma ass of before i come back to London'- I told him i saw him on stage playin...SEE TEETH!!lol!- i told him i was gonna be singing- he smiled thinkin i actually could sing- you shouda seen the disappointment when i told him i suspected myself of being tone deaf- cute guy men-we will see-another summer post- im thinkin dinner at that Malay restaurant in chelsea avec MrA and a few other church chums-

oh and then there is that youngie guy at the uni- one first year guy- hes bulked up now- fresh to def- bless him- i remember at international day festival tge guy was propa lookin to say hello- i sha avoided it til near the end and all of a sudden he wanted me to take a pic with him- without any hello or nothing- it was only after that we gisted small-Mallam guy-yellow- dont usually go for them- its all about what i refer to as 'chocolate thunder'-

and last but by no means least- my proposal online- lol!!somebarry pick me up from the floor!!Seein as its my blog- thought id let you know it made my shitty day better-i was laughin like a fox on crack!!gettin 'on one knee'...not really how i envisioned it- but then ive never really thought about it- gay stuff!!

oh, and guys are effed- as in- i dunno what to say anymore- and 9ja guys need to understand that syphillis/gonorrea/AIDS is real!it is not a fake disease that oyinbo peeps invented to keep peeps from gbenshing/strap and straddling!! some guys are just derry men-

KC yarns-again, I KNOW!but its the last and my spring clean holiday!!

2007-04-19T17:35:00.000-07:00

k so i was jobless and I love Wikipedia to bits so i ended up lookin at sec schools in Nigeria- I dunno how i got there but thats the joy of combining joblesness and the internet!!
So back to my Wiki wow Wiki wow wow west wikepedia!!
I had a look at KC and what rubbish did i see??I think this is the only wikipedia page that is full of bull!!
Can u imagine a Wikepedia page that states 'KCOB for life'????Like hello??get a grip. this is not a playground...I was in stitches...
if ur bored, do have a look.

Oh and Ive decided to forgive someone after 15years!!!I know but something sha hit me this morning and I told God that i was willing to let go of all that!!It was doin me more harm than good so i just forgave the person and am moving on with life...I used to call him an bastard and all sorts of other badd baaad words but now Ive decided to bless him!! Karma is a bitch and it will bite you in the bum so my anger and hatred aint gonna do nothing!!
Ill go into detail in a future blog but right now, Im feeling a tad too exposed for this so ill wait a lil!!That idiot- See his head- he doesnt come to the house any more for contract cos daddy aint around at the mo- Stupid cotractor geezer with his thick irish accent and those retarded NHS glasses!!OK i said i forgave him but something in me just wants to hold on!!
Sorry if chicks are doing too much coded yarns for you but im starting to question my anonymous nature on blogger- thinkin of going back to Xanga where no barry knew me for nadas!!Ive actually met some people on here and it freaks me out cos they might find out who i am...-

So i need to do a proper blog- I found something out today that could cause trouble...hmm what to do.what to do...
does anyone wanna donate some money to VTI??Daddy no dey for London and Momsi is just momsi innit!! Ill mail you ma bank details!I forgot to tap popsi's financial current before he travelled!!I dunno what to do, poverty is a bad thing!!But i still have some mad baffs that i aint rocked so its aight!One vintage stuvvs with some clevage(cant spell but whats new-)!'there may be trouble ahead...but while theres moon light and music and love and romance..'

Anyhow, Love you all like jeremy Paxman!!- and that love is beyond deep!!its the 'real love' mray j was yarning about!!
adios

Oh and im going away for a while- i prolly wont be missed but Ill be back on the 3rd of June! Need to focus on a few things.
Ill still be checkin your sites frm time to time, Yosh, simply, beyond, my poetry genius Miss pearce and Jack Slarra ma numero uno hard guy on blogger-imma miss ur comements!!Hmmmmm had some gist i found out about HG 101 but its ok- ill hold ma tongue til the third!!
ciao

Keep on praying- Ephisians 6vs 18

luff u teww mash.
xxxxxxxVTIxxxxxxxx

Evolution by VTI- sponsored by the Royal Society of Chattin Bare Breeze!!

2007-04-15T15:17:00.000-07:00

I know its late but i just wanted to write wats goin on in my not so cool life!!K is the world changing or what!!!(rhetorical qn-)So i went to brent cross today and oooo my days!!they moved Topshop!!like WTF?? k my two main zones were on point but TOPSHOP??NOO they moved it downstairs where Benneton used to be!got ma photo taken also- im a bit of a celebrity(lol-i wish) and that light skinned security guard is still hot but now hes a plain clothed security officer!!-guy is sha fine me- givin us segzy eyes outside Hugo Boss!!

and then i took a bus(i know.me, on a bus!no fam to drive chicks around!!-least its not a molue type bus!!. So i was on the bus in Kilburn, lookin for Buka....couldnt find it- all i was thinkin is 'kai. this london has finished me- no Mc Donalds in Golders Green, no mama Calabar in Hendon and no freakin BUKA?' so I looked at the post and was blinded men- some white sign-not sure what the writing was but i was sooooo confused staring into the new white board that i didnt catch the name...so had buka disappeared??

OLD SCHOOL DAYzzzzz!!
I remember when i was like 17/18 (2003/2004) and i found out that my dear friend was giving head to her stupid ass KC boyfriend who was like 21/22!!(gosh i forgot to add this to my anti KC boy tally- minus 7).As i know her very well, i knew she was doing it to fit in -her first BF and all.but i didnt get it cos I didnt do stuvvs nor did the dudu ones in our crew but the oyibo ones in our crew were hmmm-DL chicks!!all her silly Oyinbo friends were... all those babes who like to pass STD's(sexually transmitted diseases) round like its a bowl of Kolanut!!allow!!
so my friend is quite insecure and she always wanted to be in the whole 9ja circle-have a popular guy -look nice- be known!!-ok she finally is (after compromising A LOT!!)cest nes pas by force to be 9ja)- but im just sad cos this coulda been avouded if she listened to VTI!!k, so im not popular, dont dress fly and dont have a mingeraka-ugly man beast) for a boyfriend but im still a hard babe with a MAD rep!!

but its sooo sad to see how desperate peeps will go. Ok the KC guy was quite popular but he no fine-as usual. Just be doin 'hardguy' and that was what was makin the chick trip for him!!-you know the segzy walk wey be like say they are partially limping (us london peeps call it a bop)- i remember seeing one guy doin the segzy walk but he effed it up!!it was like the guuy was jumping!!i was in a fit of laughter!!!saw KC tally 7 recently in Colindale on the train platform with one Oyinbo chick- the guy was now scoping chicks while he had babe!!hiss!!useless guy...the guy is now like 25 and still jobless roaming round parrys like he gets paid to do that!!

i shouldnt cuss- hes acually rather nice to chat to(minus americana hassent which he managed to acquire whilst in Maryland.......Ikeja!!)
So i stopped talkin to her cos she lied when asked if she was doin the steez which was saddening cos from when you start bucking, it all goes belly up!Guilty by association men!!!I wasnt brought up to be doin stuvvs like that til ur married and ive had a wonderfully sheltered childhood!!The thing is , we found out from one babe who im not too close to and nor is the babe but because she was doin the steez i suppose she wanted tips and all-From when she lied, i knew our friendship was a wrap cos i dunno what else shes lied about! i suppose by her going out with him she raised a few eyebrows cos every1 was like who is this babe sorta thing- Kc guy doin britico chick!!bless her- its sad cos shes such a stunning babe and now shes sacrificed one of her few gifts from God to someone who probably didnt want to marry her!!eyyy yaaa!!!-sob story- this was the point in my life where things just started changing!!my song at this point was KEANE-everybodys changing!!

PART 2!!!!!came to uni. and just learnt sooo much about peeps- fake peeps esp!!gosh they are sooooo transparent!!and learnt 9ja lingo- 'grazing milk' and 'tappin current' and 'STUVVS'!!everything is STUVVS- 'thats mad stuvvs' 'we were doin stuvvs' 'whats the mad stuvvs?'-

Life lesson at uni??- hmmm...YEAH!!!i learnt that people had sex B4 marriage!!that was like woah to me cos Ive easily managed to abstain from the 'STUVVS' so i thought we all were in the same boat- it dawned on me that if youre in an environment that is condusive to your sexual development, then stuvvs will happen...men- i really did bask in Innocence- it wasnt ma fault- my fam & friends didnt talk about it so i assumed it was married peeps talk!!-even wen they mentioned stats about the % of peeps sexually active, i said it was overexaggerated and a conspiracy by the govt for peeps to have sex cos they had shares in Durex(warped-i know) and also wanted to encourage peeps to have sex cos of the deomgraphic timebomb!!-contradiction...

i live with ultra conservative parents who still say 'SEXUAL INTERCOURSE' and only started talkin to ma older bro about condoms (the guy is 25)- she was like 'I know you are....ummm...of age...and now that you have relations with people...you might even be havin SEXUAL INTERCOURSE' at this point my bro was blushing!!he just interrupted saying 'yes ma.yes ma. yes ma.' and walked out of the room.

K so im getting a bit worried about global warming!!dunno why but i am. The ice caps are melting!!WE need to pray bout it oooo!!its a big deal- saw a pic of snowdonia in Wales- THER WAS NO SNOW!!!!!!!!

other talk- God mostly
Ok so went to church today and it was bounz!!as in just what the doctor ordered!!So the msg was about Seeking God and how sometimes as christians we like to sell God short. eg -we ask for gold but we get silver and settle not realising that God is the God almighty and is blessing you with Gold and Silver!!Made some money from doin a few house chores this weekend and spent 1/2 of it on a christian book!!- my first ever self-purchase...i sense a revolution in the air!!I love my church soooo much!!Its helped me through hard times men!!

Somewhere in the service, they started talking about strong hearts and how we must have hearts that God can mould- I immediately though about my silly hard babe persona!!It really is not necessary!! and it really is not a reflection of who VTI is about-but for the beings amongst us like Mr Jack Slater imma have to maintain my game cos y'all need to be taught a few lessons!!'take me down a step or two??lol! you dont know chicks men- but ill educate you a lil!!
k hardbabe will emanate- only when 9ja peeps start with their rubbish of 'whos ur dad' 'what school did u go to' where do u like?? and all that ish!!but cos im britico they talk to me like im one london chicka that wears tracksuit bottoms and sellotapes my hair to my forehead-ode- good thing im not too much of a mugu!!!its funny cos when i tell em ma popsi is Director of one company (need to remain anonymous)and we live in ikoyi - they start adressing me PROPERLY!!lol!!money chasers!!Go and chase God o not me cos me im chasing after God!!

k thats me done- this blog is getting boring!!my life is soooooooo not interesting- come end of may- see drama!!
take care my lovelies and remember- God is real.

Anti-social YARNS

2007-04-13T09:21:00.000-07:00

K so i went to a parthy on saturday just gone and I did the usual VTI stuvvs!!It was a friends bday and so i dragged myself out of the house with just a tennis dress and footless tights and slippers- dont mind me o!!I saw the sun and thought ahh ahhhhhhhhh!!i need to show these pretty feet men.
Anyho, anyone that went out in london on the saturday just gone will know that the sun that came out was in fact fake sun!!By the end of the parthy, my toes needed a good cocoa butter!!See crust toes start appearing!!that day was CHILLY men!!
so now at the party/get together, I didnt really know anyone- ok i knew most peeps there....had been introduced to most of them at least once! but you still have to do hard babe!!
so me im chillin now and all the foine bobos are lookin at me like i know them- and that soooo is not the case- i was introduced to them whilst drunk in first year which was about a million years ago!! so one is lookin at me like say we knew eachother in a past life- and this one fine o!!so i drop one of my 'killer coys'- i drop the killer coy smile beautifully- the guy now starts really skinnin teet (this means grinnin from eear to ear - as in the colgate smile-gums and all)...
I think that was the only piece of conversation i had all night!!

It was like this- If i wasnt on my phone or talking to one of the few people i knew there i would just look!!

the thing is Im sadly very shy- It comes from my tragic childhood!!-cant go into it now but it was bad-

****AT THIS POINT I NEED TO THANK EVERY1 ABOUT MA LAST POST****SHE IS DOING WELL NOW- WE HAVE KNOCKED SOME SENSE INTO HER****PHYSICALLY!!****SHES REALLY CLEVER SO WE JUST GIVE HER GCSE WORK TO DO AND LEAVE HER TO IT!

anyhow. Back to antisocial yarns!!I was there now and my mate introduced me to one chick and I wasnt really sure about her so i did the "el fake-o"- the fake smile! and then she remembered me so i had to stop fronting and i was like 'hey. i remember you. we met at X parthy and were ouddi....blah blah blah' the chick hugged me and she didnt do one of those wet hugs- not in the naughty sense-its a babe here were talkin bout- i meant the ones that SOME 9ja babes give to look all cosmo and when you lean fwd for the 'hug' they barely touch you like you have aids or something!! its like you just leaned fwd to stretch your back in a stupid way.

I need to go into detail about this anti-social stuvvs!!!I dont trust 9ja peeps some just wanna be ur friend cos of your mad yarns or cos your popsi is something or another or cos you hav mad baafs!!VERY FEW actually like you for you- and the guys!!oh dont get me started!!!cos we are britico they feel that they can abuse us!!ode!!-Its war this summer!!See 9ja guys suffer!-wait for the summer posts!!
Anyho, because im quite shy naturally, my coyness is usually mistaken for stooshness and this now has evolved into hardbabe!!

At this party, at one point i even started boning!!and it was to the extent that my friend was askin who vexed me!!lol!! See fine guys gallore!!as in my head was spinnin like a windmill and all i was doin was lookin and sipping- as in when youre this antisocial, you cant be drinking- its simply not cool- time stands still for you now that you have acquired the talent of being anti social!!It is a beautiful talent to posess i tell you!!-
i remember one guy tried to move to me- you know, for some reason, i have an issue with leprachauns!! and so the guy was like i like your top...(i was thinking yeah cos half my breasts are out for sale- see dowry price for VTI drop like Enron) and I was like 'so, do you want it?' and i walked off!!silly man- and the guy continued to stare at me like we were lovers in a past life...

I love being antisocial- at first it was because i was really shy and i just couldnt bring myself to talk- didnt feel i really had anything to contribute to society but now im a SNOB!!just watchin 9ja people for 1 year i learnt sooo much- what took them 5 years to acquire in secondary school in nige i caught on in 1 year!!

so here is my anti-social yarn- sorry if its not as gangsta as i hyped it up to be but im in a rush...got church in an hour!!

Cant wait to see HIM- got plans homie!!he doesnt know it yet- i wanna punish him- my friend told me bout blue balls but i dunno what that is so imma allow it!!I think i over stressed our relationship tho...the whole 'intellectal partner in crime?' gosh i am a bit dramatic!!he was sharp but how dare i say he was equally as sharp as me?
Its only cos hes fine!!!as in FINE!! ive got a sneekin suspicion that hes on blogger and that would be ma worst nightmare!! cos i aint been that subtle about who he is!!darn!!

y o y do i still bother with him??boredom!!need ot do my work!!International Finance calling!!
ciao
luv ya like curry from Tamrind bar in Covent garden!!

My liru sister...the bane of my life and other thorns in my side

2007-04-10T15:30:00.000-07:00

So my lil sister is like the most obscure character i have come across in recent times- she is not only annoyingly outspoken at home but stupidly coy outside with her friends. she is rude, unnecessarily aggressive and just like me in many ways- i dedicate a whole post to her cos i think she has deserved it-with all her efforts to piss VTI off...to breaking point- you know the point where you just wanna lob objects at the person in a feeble attempt to knock some sense to her!!
What hasnt this young'un done? is it call NSPCC(National society to the prevention of cruelty to children) when my mom gave her a Knock out slap? or is it calling me a ***king idiot when i lobbed a pair of the then trendy 6inch wheat colour timberland boot?
I remeber when she was younger-so coy so timid so shy!!now shes a rotten one- and now she is trying to be all ghetto on chicks like she lives in brixton avec yardies!!telling me 'innit doh' and the usual 'allow it(pronounced (lau it)'

i remember when she got grounded for 2 hours-cos my mom didnt want her to go to one parthy like this...see me see wahala!!the chick went crazy!! first she ran out of the house without slippers or any form of footwear!!Imagine what the neighbours think- one of 3 black families in the area and there is my foolish sister running the streets of northwezt london shoeless!!Im sure the neighbours were thinkin 'there goes the neighbourhood'!!
so back to my living enigma. So queen B decided on a plan...she starts posting snails to the house through the mail box... so we didnt wanna look mannerless like we didnt fit in so we left her... more snails-this time it was big- not like those big GM ones wey de sell in African shop- the one thats the size of turkey leg!!and so the babe keeps posting and then she decides to knock on the door cos shes now 'bored' cos chicks aint getting any more attn... so she knocks....
not one soul moves in the house...she starts knocking irritatingly!!so my momsi storms to the door and my sister is in shock-before you can say shit mhen momsi has dragged the child by the ear and showed her that she still has the earthquake slap!the chick gets it o!!as in when momsi finished, 3 of my other siblings attacked her cos she wanted to get rude and you know how older 9ja siblings can be...all authoritarian and unnecessarily aggressive!!so everyone is there doing their bit for the case of why NSPCC should be abolished and when this is now finished the babe calls NSPCC saying she had been attacked- then my momsi gently strolls out and the chick is like 'sorry.ive got the wrong number' momsi sha got the gist of what ma lil sis was gonna do and so she went in for round two-

gosh...i must stress that my lil sis has a mouth on her- when you know its better to shut up, this one starts boning and doin hard babe-FOR MOMSI!!!my mom just calls her 'saucy'!!we dont consciously make an effort to hit her every day even though it sounds like it...

so then the next week she gets told off and storms out of the house-bearing in mind she is 12....ok this time the chick has shoes on cos last time she musta stepped into some stones mehn and her feet were dirty like one 3rd mailalnd bridge Gala sausage roll seller...
what does she post??cigarette butts- good thing my area is clean but she sha posted enough!!came into the house acting like nothing happend and had this sheepish smirk on her face like 'so what are you gonna do to me this saturday?beat me like the last?that didnt even work!' sorta face...so after all this, my mom who is anti smokin to another level justs does one james bond move on my sister- my eyes could move as fast as my momsi's hand- next thing we know my lil sister is attending to a bruised arm as a result of 'silpa' being thrown at her!!my mom at this poin is tired so my younger bro decides to step in- this one must been a wrestler in his past life...kai-the boy finished her and she too is a good raker!! thats how they fought and then BAAM!!chick is on the floor- she don ko!!

she woke up 5secs later and started tellinpeople she went to heaven!! and could see birds and stars!!loli was laughin my head off!!

so the reason of todays ranting is this...shes moved on to words- today she decided to do a bit of home schooling for my youngest sister who is 5!!!!!!!!!
Im baffing in the bafroom and all i hear is 'x, do you know what marijuana is?'lol!!i was like uh??who knew that when they were 10? i quickly interrupted and said 'ahh ahhh...kilo de?' oya come and get my towel!!

but it has to be said that she is a legend...she is deffo gonna register in my school of hardknocks and silly sayings...
ill leave you with a few remixed songs of hers:
chain hang low- belly hang low
does ur belly hang low does it wobble to the floor, does it hang on the side, is it hard or is to cold...
and then there was the dry lip song- its from the gasolina song-reggaeton stuff that i cannot be bovered to comprehend!!gibberish
ur lip need vasalina (tada tada Vasalina)
there are some more but i really cant remember...bloggers block!!

i dont have anything interesting to write- have not been into 02 this hols-round of applause!!-but wait- i went to sainsbury-darn!!but it doesnt count cos i came in from the carpark and i didnt go upstairs and I wasnt there chillin or meeting someone-a quick dash!!but then again, i was in kensal rise and the nearest one was in Ladbroke Grove!!-2mins away as opposed to 10!!never mind eh?

o soo sorry...forgot to do the whole momsi thing...that woman is AMAZING!!-she has come out with some lines men...pure classics-im sure she even surprises herself sometimes with the rude funny uber conservative rightwing charismatic Jesus loving stuff she comes out with- like the time ma mom say my sis wearin a thong!-her yes nearly popped out- she started 'singing' again- thats what we refer to it as cos she goes on for a hot minute...she will do the whole prostitute song and how she doesnt want to see it- calling it anal floss and all sorts and she will tell us where it derivd from and how if we want to prostitute ourselves thats our own wahala but we should under no circumstance come near the house- this was a message for every1 in the house and she was just singing and we were like 'noone is a prostitute and we are not and have never been sexually active' how embarrassing!!gosh-cant believe the things i have to tell ma mom to reassure her that we are(ok well, I) am not turning to the dark side-

jeez...wanna call him-so bored-all i seem to do these days is read, eat and blog-im sure y'all are hating on me- you wish you could trade right??thought as much...BUT YOU CANT!!ha ha-jealousy is a sin!!lol!!

ok found me some talented geezers to put in my 'need to research' book b4 i venture there- summer is really comin men- need someone to be chillin with apart form ma crazy sis and my girlies!!- But if they for one second try that whole callin after 11 bull ish, imma have to address them really!every1 knows its not proper to consciously call someone at unsociable hours to then gist for 2-3 hours!!Bacause you think i dont have parents!!im not getting shouted at by momsi for being on the phone at random hours of the night!!-thats how prostitution singing will begin again!!

ok peeps i dunno what ma next post will be on cos my life is sooo dry at the mo...fingers crossed it will NOT involve KC boiz or anthing about him...even tho i feel like im gonna call him- i love this whole crazy psycho thing i got goin on...He will def think im partially deranged. either that or think that i wanna pounce on him (shit, k the latter is true but i shall resist..RESIST!)im too posh to pounce- and too emotionally supressed to even try and emotionally articulate myself in the physical sense and do stuvvs!!- allow- need to get his friend back tho...the h facthor skinny unilag rapist mule-
didnt end up seeing him but aint bovvered- i got plans- bringing out one freakum dress- and then he will be the one jaw dropped and dribbling

confused...but whats new

2007-04-08T10:25:00.000-07:00

So so much has happened but i cannot afford to disclose now as i have random beings around so imma just drop a few bullet points and come back to elaborate-
*my mom and her new ban on me going out-which did not roll with me
*My mom tellin me off for wearing a one strap top (you know, the trendy thing these days-sienna and kate have been seen wearing similar stuff)-and her reason for not liking the top was this: 'Look, God gave ou two arms so I dont know how you can but a top that is missing a strap'-ok so it was bad enough that i went and wore a spagetti strap in front of momsi but then to have an arm missing and consciously purchase it makes me a tad crazy according to her. The one arm is a garment malfunction but my purchase is stupidity!!
*my crazy ass lil sister with all her antics of old-I must tell all-cigarette butt posting through the mail box and all-
*My quest to avoid 02 centre at all costs-ok not ALL costs cos men, chicks are BROKE!!
*Me thinkin bout him- idle mind = devils workshop.I tell you.
*my desire to dedicate a whole post to my songs at the moment -Mario how do i breathe-gosh i can so not picture myself being that dependent on someone like that!!allow!!its not even the bounzest of things-so tragic for the ones out there who actually have feeling!!-pele!
*the skill of being anti social-I must admit, it is an art at this point in time as i have not actually witnessed anyone who can consciously be as anti-social as myself-i hear an applaud for my newly discovered talent!!ok, maybe not!
*my need to find some new talent to latch on to-its been way to long and summer is round the corner and so is m graduation-gosh im gonna do wonderful things on the planet and at church
*my quest to become closer to God-
well i only dropped a few lines to tease yall-

happy easter everyone and dont forget Jesus in everything you do-dont forget that this is your mission for Christ!!

btw-just realised what western puff puff is.....chocolate profiterols-can you imagine-ok its not 1/4 as dense but its still quite similar...Arent i clever??yes-pat on the back for VTI.

so take care my ppl and you shall be reading from moi soon..
halla!!

nothing dey happen-no joke my life is like an empty box of chocolates!!!

2007-03-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

Ok I know this is random but really, this must be addressed!!

so is it me or do KC boys have fat asses!??I have been exposed to this breed of Nigerian guys while in higher education and all 100 plus of them(out of a possible 500,000) that went to kc have mahusive asses!!- I dont want to cause drama but the set of 2001 have booty!Cant name names but men- I went to one party and chicks were just scoping guys nyash men- and to make it worse, they were now doin the whole low rise stuvvs!!-guys used to do it and I used to feel really violated cos i really didnt have an ass but after booty checkin on friday, im def gonna have to do this again!!-just sit at the bar with corvoursier straight and give marks out of 10!!

I went to a few parties this weekend and noticed that its just booty gallore!!I was just feastin my eyes on the stuvvs!!-what did they feed that set?really?chicks need some of that!!
I decided that Im gonna chill with the whole guys thing. this is because of sooo many things:
-The games they play-babes aint gettin younger and wrincles are appearin so adios to the wasteman!
- the silly lines of 'we dont need to tell people cos they will just get in our business-ode!!see ur head!!you think i smoke gari with you? more like you dont want oyur 4th and 5th babes to find out and have a warrant out for your bits!!

Basically, i have heard too many messed up sories...the bottom line is guys like to feel!!Ok me i like to feel but this one is on another level!!heres an example.cos i tell you to chill outside the shop so i can buy a kit kat you want to vex with me and tell me im rude and you start talkin to me like I have abused you and your forefathers!!men, allow.

So i went out on friday even tho i swore i wouldnt. so then i get a call at 11:30 at night from him!!me im thinkin 'huh? since when did i know you like that?'- ok so we have been talkin for a hot minute (17months) but I stopped likin him as soon as he didnt reply my message-that was rude(this is mr B).i refuse to chill for any guy- VTI must feel and pose at all times-its necessary!!so he called and I made sure i didnt pick up cos he can be soooo annoying!!the dude says he works in the city- when people refer to the city i think farringdon, Liverpool st and all that- this ones city is edgeware road!!thats not even kingscross!!silly boy!!

I have a funny feelin Mr Cinema cinema(the posts labelled as HIM) is gonna pop up somewhere this easter holiday!!02 probably- and i will not be suprised if him and jake are buddies- yes you!!jake bloggs!!nigerians and their 3 degrees of separation.damn you 02!!-
i have heard of enough stupid naija guys getting nabbed there!!of all the places to go!!02!

its all good cos ive prepared my stunna shades in the event of me seeing him- you know the trick ladies - 'Oh hey wassup?' I didnt even see you. how far?...anyho, all the best my dear...blah blah blah'- he'll def give the line 'Ur lookin good' but cos its Mr cinema cinema itll probably be 'ur looking radiant' or some other gay rubbish!!foolish guy!!He know ill trip up and say something stupid like 'likewise' cos me i wasnt taught how to take complements- dont worry, my game will be tight!!-oh crap i dont actually have any game!!

at least you guys have something to look fwd to...VTI lookin like a propa twat infront of Mr pulling all the 'Ropes'!!

OOOOOOOOhhh, talking of stunner shades, what is with guys wearing stunners in a club??ALLOW!!! who are you??Diddy??who can you see?? nobody!!you dont know you look silly- darkness upon darkness!!that element of mystery doesnt work mate- you just look like a twat!!
Saw one of my mates in a club wearin stunners

me:this guy how far

the guy looks shocked and then responds

him: my love, i didnt even see you!!
me:i thought so...see your life!!
him:aunt, please dont blast guys in clubs now. fashion now
me:its not by force...leave that to me...lol
him:lol!!
the convo went on but its not funny so i wont go into it!!

can someone explain to me why some naija guys dont understand wit?Its not the 'language barrier' as I like to call it!!

went to a frineds place this weekend and i was all there chillin crackin jokes!!you will not believe how many jokes i wasted on these guys!these were carefully thought out explosive jokes that if anything would at least make you blush.from now on im gonna save my jokes for people who matter. And sarcasm!!that just flew over their heads!!Im soo not gonna pull a stunt like that again!!VTI is keepin the jokes to herself...who cares if people think im crazy cos Im laughin alone hysterically ouside the 02 centre or asda in colidale or better still hendon central station??bovvered?nah!!

I really wanna see this guy on the hols(mr RRRRRRRRRRRR)- Awkward moments really do define my life!!lets see how this one goes- Ill be lookin as fly as heck- I only plan on going out in the day time 7/10 days and never at night!!- ill save the scandalous outfits for june- guys will just faint!!pls dont let there be a party at torts this summer!!-its like my students union!!

anyho, I have something else to be doing- le dissertation!!

casha lairas homies-halla!!

As in, babes don @$%k up o

2007-03-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

So im tired of this nagging feeling.

I deleted his number from memory and my phone...but I still have that horrid message i sent to him. I dunno why I sent it...it didnt even make sense...I was trying to say that i was weak for him...but it came out all wrong...this is even after i told him i stopped likin him with which he replied saying 'so soon?' I was like 'so how long does it usually take then...?' and he laughed...
so a while back I sent him a message declaring war and that we should never speak...lemme just remember it a little(i read it over and over and over again trying to understand my state of mind when I wrote it) so basically it went like this

obviously ive missed something.Its probably best this way but i called seeing as i thought we had reconciled and put our differences aside towards working towards and establishing some sort of friendship!!evidently this appears to have been more difficult than i had anticipated. i dont expect to you understand me - in fact i dont expect anyhting of you but work with me here,im trying. I like things done the proper way-no sugar coated stuvvs.ALL I can do is apologise for my antics.Forget i bothered.As you said, it was nice getting to know you. God bless you.

so thats the end of me and him. i dunno what posessed me to send it but i did. My mate a few months back lost her stuvvs to one useless guy and i was soooo soooo sooooooooooooo scared of that happeniing to me so i just chilled...i really wanted to see what would happen and where it would go to but i was aware that he had a gf and i didnt want to get attached to the guy when he was someone elses...its sooo not a good look. Ive heard soo many stories about their relationship...here are a few

-he is her toy boy
-she is obsessed with him
-he is actually going out with her
-they are more or less married...
now with these stories in mind i dunno what to do...

I cant call him...way to late for that...i think ill chill and wait to se him in 02 or wazobia or oxford street or somewhere...

We only spoke like 4 times but it was sooo chilled out...ok i swore a few times but it was only cos i was sooo nervous...I really wanted him on way too many levels...should i attempt contact again?or is that just too emotionally advanced for the emotionally retarded babe?

He is soo sharp and he can challenge me anyday...he is my intellectual partner in crime...we were so there and levelled on so many levels...y did he go and get a babe...?
Im not gonna disturb him tho...God help me...

Mr jaw drop and dribble

2007-03-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

ok. like for real. im tripping!!!how the heck will i be able to get rid of this guy in my brain...a 2 yr obsession??no way
forget about the last one...I have another situation. this guy is FINEE!!!! as in I dont think i have ever tripped about a guy like this...he is one of those casanovas...certified walking std but i love it!!the guy has charm...when i say charm, i dont mean that yeye type stuvvs that SOME(not all) Naija girls fall for- the whole 'flash the cash and you'll get the nyash'!!!The guy will tell me about myself- as in, me.im the type of person that can offend people anyhow.sarcastic and just odd.I say how i feel and i really dont get the whole fronting thing.... the problem of growing up in Nigeria and in london is just messed up. I have enough older siblings who went to school in nige and then there are the younger ones,me included that have the whole britico stuvvs going on...

So back too my wahala...I have liked this guy since first year at that Bristol party in June....men...I have issues...so heres the deally...I liked him, then i randomly found him on hi5 (this was when hi5 was 'cool'-and no.i didnt look for him cos i didnt even know his name!) and I was about to go to nige. SO now I see awon geezer at the not so Famous 02 centre with one babe. This time, im sitting there with my sisters at pizza express and one sezy ass chocolate thunder walks past and im like 'yey...i don die-its him again.'??? and this time he was all looking into the pizza place and me like an ode am lookin back even tho he is linkin arms with a babe.

Now, Im not one to front...AT ALL...women are complex beings enough as it is...and then to add all this fronting...yey!!i do feel sorry for naija guys...

kai...i don kolo!!so heres the deally.i ended up sending one anonymous mail to him on hi5 from some created person...and was saying how i saw him at 02 with his gf...-the guy don reply sayin 'girlfriend'??I was like uhh yeah.
but basically.he said that wasnt his babe. but i quickly ended it b4 i got obsessed...

so now theres me thinkin...'how am i ever gonna see this fiinnne ass guy again?' i go to nige for summer and so my plans of seeing him at any bbq in brondsbury or bbq in dollis hill is over...no mama calabar in hendon...no buka in kilburn...ill never see him again' -no torts wine bar or cougar pinks...

So the academic yr starts and i go to see ma friend at one uni like this...lo and frikkin behold...who is there?? At this point I am weak!!!as in WEAK!! kai...guy fine o...-na one KC boy like this-the mannerisms, the swag-

i see him and walk up to him and say 'did u go bristol uni...?' the guy look at me like say i dey craze (sorry, im practicing my pidgin cos everyone says its whack-which im sure youll agree it is)
so the guy is like 'nah.and he smiles...' me im there like ok..., is this the same guy or have i just smoked too much crack? so i was like 'you were at the parry in summer right with 'X' (QC babe) and 'X' (AHall guy)' and the guy was like 'yeah...' so to cut a long story short, i spoke to him...and he asked me if i went to this unio and i said 'uhh no'.men i was dancing that day... inside cos I cant dance...im too tall for that kind of activity...all those limbs flying about...nah men...

so anyhow, a few months later, the guy say he get interest and tells ma friend...
like i said before, im not the typical nigerian babe and generally am highly unconventional...so im there now and i think...nah men allow this geezer...

i need to state summat here tho..i kinda got with his friend accidently 2 months back... and i was ouddi...didnt know the guy or nuthing...nothing like major kwavs but the small small kiss the neck and stuvvs but i was gonnne...and the guy no fine o!!one unilag dude like this...h factor et al....

so when i heard about the guy feelin babes i was like...nah men...guy thinks im one ashi ashi babe (ashewo) like this...so ma friend was like 'nah babes not keen...not after what happend with X' then the guy is like 'y are you girls like that?blah blah blah... what makes you think that concerns me...?if it concerned me i wouldnt bother' so i was like ok...

I text him one message like this...babes were a lil too excited and basically it was rude....
it basically said thanks but i know people who are more inclined to have sex with you than myself and i have taken the courtesy of fwding your number to the respective harlots...-even tho i dont associate myself with people like that.

so now.if and when i saw him, it would be very awkward...another thing was that it was rumoured he had a gf...he denied it and even sugar coated the stuvvs saying to my friend that he was flattered that people would think that of the two and he respects the babe a lot but its nothing of that kind... this is to show you the type of lyrics the guy has...
the guy now sparked for my friend callin her all sorts and saying she had said stuff to other people...-in my head i was like kai...y did i just not leave him and say something nice...

So this year, i thought, lets bury things but when i saw him again....i was weak...i think its jazz cos im almost 22 and have never tripped for a guy like this...as in hes just everything i refuse to have from a guy...naija guy, then hes yorubs...(aint nothing wrong with yorubs at all but I just cannot handle them...they have too much game...and i never win games...as in really, too hot to handle...)

so basically- i saw him and i was in awe.as in i was speechless jaw drop and dribble and the guy was just there and all i cld do without breakin a sweat was a coy smile...
guy then followed me out and was like 'are we fighting?' i was thinkin yey!!kai!!this guy u pas fineeeee o!
so we start talkin again...i initiate things..-yes...like i sed...I dont know typical 9ja babe protocol of the guy callin.....
so ohe ha one patry and i go cos he says 'it would be great to see you...'-those fatal lines-

i go and make a prat out of myself...-typical...he asks me when im leaving...Im like tomorrow then i stupidly continue the convo listead of letting him lead

'so y do u always ask when im leaving when i just got here??its like you want me to piss off'..
.even thinkin back makes my bele do one kyn gymnastics! he replies saying 'no not at all..i wanted to invite you to cinema'...
my head is spinning...I think in my head 'FINALLY'!! but the power of whisky and Disaranno and our buddy Jack Daniels... i say 'Nah. thats playing with fire...'
he looks at me with those evil puppy eyes that could cause a riot in any babes heart... he looks at me striaght, kinda upset and says... 'Im fire??you think im fire...??' am like 'yeah.' so he holds ma hand and takes me outside.'lets talk about this'...alcohol don pass through men...its late november in this country and im outside in a dress and nothing else...kai...madness...
so he asks me 'how am i fire...??what have i done?
me:well youve got a girlfriend and i know that for a fact and I respect that and Ive met her and I dont want trouble
him:(shouting) BUT WE ARE JUST GOING TO THE CINEMA!!
me:nah.its more than that...
him:what?
me:look i repsect the fact that youre in a relationship.Ive met ur gf and when i mentioned you to her, her face lit up and i dont want to spoil anything...
him:look ive had X and X (QC babes) stay round at mine and weve all shared a bed and nothing has happened...whats with the cinema...whats wrong?
the damn twat went to ask the trigger qn....
me:(pouring out my alcoholic heart on the cold streets of the uk) look, i like you more than i should and its not right.I know you know already and i dont know why im telling you...
him:how would i know...
me:ok fair enough, your not psychic but Im sure you knew...
him:i really didnt know...you didnt tell me so how would i know..
at this point some babe comes out ans is shouting about something that someone has done and so hes says- 'can you please wait here...' i nod but Im thinking...from when im feeling all vulnerable and all, you are gonna leave me??oh hell no..and i walk inside...
i go inside and try and enjoy the house party even tho im pissed and i feel like a twat. I try and hide from him but to no avail...
in my drunken bliss, I start chatting rubbish abusing nigerian guys and cussing the heck out of KC guys...(i dunno y.KC peeps out there,and 9ja guy-alcohol is evil. pls forgive me) and i do this for a good hour with a bottle of whisky by my side.

later on,in the crowd of people in the hallway, he grabs my hand and i turn to see who it is and its him so i unwrap his paws from my wrist. later on he find me and is like 'look im trying to talk to you but you keep walkin away. You dont wanna talk to me?is that what you want?'
so i reply saying 'lets just be civil.' the looks at me vexed and is like 'CIVIL??what does that mean?' i say 'just hi and bye.' on that note i disappear again...
the guys game was working...i was just like a zombie...
Im at the bottom of the stairs and hes like 'look.i dunno what ive done.i really dont.and i dont understand why you are being so hardon yourself...its not like im gonna take advantage of you. I really dont want you to feel like this... and i really dont know why ur being sooo hard on yourself....are you not gonna say something...
me:i have to be hard on myself...i have to(i really dunno where this came from-too much tv!!)
so he then says: so we should talk again?is that how it is between us?
me:(at this point, i didnt know what to say.i couldnt say no cos i didnt want to fll for some dirty trick.. so i was like 'ok'
he then proceeded to hug me and i moved back...then the puppy eyes came and lets just say its a wrap....i leaned forward to hug him and he gave me some walloping peck on the cheek!!!men i swear i redigested my food.my lungs just collapsed. i swear. Before he gave me LE PECK, he said in my ear 'It was really nice getting to know you'... and he walked upstairs...kai kai!!I properly felt a hole...but i was too proud to do anything...

i tried to patch things up saying sorry for runing his birthday party and all that and it was cool for a while.we chatted and he found out that i was uber weird!!

so I was cool with him and then somehow, i messed up again...sent another text message but this time i thought that he had been immature about things..note to self- no more text messages...the ambiguity!!
So now the guy and i dont chat...saw him 2 wknds ago and i just pas him like say he air... and men i really regret it now cos im going to nige in november for good- ive been here 15years...its gonna be a culture shock even tho i go back like every 2 years...
After all this now, i hear gist, hot off the press about him and the babe people referred to as his babe... at first she was just knockin boots with him and then it got serious...cos they grew up together and their parents know eachother and sibling too... so now im thinkin did i mess up?? or was i right to ouddi the guy like that...

Im crap at articulating myself so the point of this blog is:
was i right in jaboing the guy like that cos i didnt feel he was genuine and the KC stuvvs was not rollin with me...
should i recocile with him as in i know more what hes about than he does...

the emotionally retarded 9year old

2007-02-16T19:38:00.000-08:00

just moved here from xanga...here goes...
i got a dissertation to do but i managed to find time!!!
Recent developments!!

I think i am crazy!!in fact, i know i am crazy!!!
I told Mr B i was in love with him and now he is vex with me.....

I spent the whole of yesterday doing jack all and i spent 6hours on the phone with my friends trying to console me-but to no avail!!!

I don't get why he is vex or offended!!this is me trying to express myself-something which i never do!!!i mean ever!!!-this is the first time in my life that i have confronted someone like this and i hate it!!-its weird!!i dunno why i did it.
so, let me just explain what happened!!basically, i am on the train back from some univ where i went to a party!!!-big mistake!!- it was like a secondary school social at Adesoye college/Olashore!!i was sooo sad for the babe men...

anyhow, Sunday, i am heading back to my univ zone and i have had this text on my phone that i have wanted to send to him for over a month!!so me and my fast self decide to send it. so this is what i sent:

''hey you, whats going on?tried calling you cos i wanted to chat, basically think I have fallen for you!!don't know how or why but i think its best I don't call until this episode concludes. Do not mock me or be arrogant about it cos its just temporary!!!I must be sniffing glue or crack either way, Im not well!!.''

O.K. i sent it in a text message..this sucks!!but i love the ambiguity of a text message-my friend said that it was rude cos it was like i had fallen for him but i didn't want to cos i knew i could do better and that i was too good for him or he wasn't good enough!!!- the whole point was to cover my tracks so i didn't get hurt!!i am a wonderful pretender!!- i could easily pretend that i don't like him after a while!!

the whole message was about reassurance!!- i just wanted him to say that it was O.K for me to like him and that i shouldn't be scared of my feelings!!(shit, im gay...somebody stop me) I wanted him to say that it was O.K, that he would be there and there was no need to worry about him mocking me cos it was gonna sort itself out!!!but for where??negro left me to rot like sewage in apapa

RIGHT NOW, IM ANGRY WITH HIM -ANGRY that he made me this vulnerable and this fragile!!!im never usually like this!!!i need a punching bag with his head on it!!!- so i can hug it and then punch it silly!!!Watch, he has not seen war!!!the war is coming o!!!there was the cold war, there was biafra, there was even the gari wars(in my house) but this one is the 'why didnt u call u damn selfish bitch' WAR!!!

how selfish is he??i mean, he hasn't called to see if im alright....he knows that this is a big step for me and i have never done this with anyone before...at least he could be supportive!!!-

i really am vex with him cos he made me miss a lecture- i went to bed crying cos of him!!!the fool!!!how dare a man make me cry!!!lol-not really.just wanted to be a tad dramatic!!

you know what??forget this.forget the bloke.As Catherine tate would say 'am i bovvererd!!!' 'does this face look bovvered??' NO!!

til my next rant, my lovelies. love ya like fresh suya!!-and ya know thats deep!
think ma next post will finish the lib episode or i might do some more gay stuff like this let me know what you think.im not sure where i should steer my feelings at this point in time-and no.im not homophobic-ive been using 'gay' out of context for years-since i was like 12!!fair dooos, I havent grown up!!but who really wants to??
ciao my darlings

My Freshie Affair @ Uni Lib

2007-02-09T09:08:00.000-08:00

So far this year has been fantastic. Working hard and playing even harder !!!
So heres the story with this bleedin lib!!! we'll go back all the way to last November.for the purpose of security, the identities of certain friends will not be disclosed.-yes thats right, muf ball, zizzi,and kay kay!!lol!! and anyone else who ive forgotten will not be mentioned.!!
I was in the lib with my dear friend 'sessa’. we were sitting there after the crappy advanced macro lecture. Whilst sitting in the lib, giggling away as we do, so some tall, dark, shine shine forehead geezer walks past and looks at us with eyes wey be like one ashewo!!! we both innocently laugh thinking 'what the heck is he on'??
I dont think you guys are getting this!!!as in you guys dont understand the severity of the situation!!the guy is MINGING!!WITH A CAPITAL G!!!

HE has a starched dusty aqua green shirt,some mankey vanilla loafers and some nasty ass cream trousers with massive gators in them!!-dont get me wrong, i like a guy that can iron (cant stand those ones at parties where you blatantly know they just took it out the pack and wore it cos its got that massive square folding line in the back) but this one was just SERIOUS!!!

i forgot to add two very important things to this geezer:
1) he has his on so trendy nokia 5146 strapped to his belt!!!how trendy is that??here it is :http://www.secondhand-mobi
lephones.co.uk/images/seco
ndhandmobilephones/bignoki
a5146mobilephone.jpg
2) he has his library card strapped to his neck like them security guards in selfridges!!!

so now we know what we're dealing with, lets get back into the story.so the guy walks past murphy and i and we are in hysterics!
then murphy says 'hes gonna pounce on you in a minute’! I obviously reply 'i rebuke it'!!! and that was the end of that....or so i thought. so murphy leaves the lib and im there continuing on with some work or another ( i was actually buying summat from amazon). so now im sitting there, completely oblivious to whats goig on around me-you must understand, the lib comp centre can get a tad noisy so i just ignore every sound.

so i hear one guy say 'hello burreful' and i start thinking...'oh that poor girl' and then i hear the same voice again saying 'my dear darlings'...and still theres no reply.i was thikin mennn this girl is RUDE!!!so me being nosy by bature decide to peek and take a look left to see what all the drama was about......

SHOCK HORROR...THE FREAK IS IN MY FACE....IM ALMOST REMOVED FROM MY SEAT IN SHOCK!!!!

(even when i think back i laugh!!!)there were two reasons for that reaction.
1)i genuinely was not expecting the action to be right next to me- and worse still be directed at me!!!
2) the FOREHEAD!!!!WOW!!!!SHINY LIKE SUN, GREASY LIKE LARD!!! I WAS MORTIFIED!!!-
now, im not claiming to have the smallest forehead but for me to comment about it is a BIG DEAL-literally!!

at this point i started laughin and the guy thought he had wooed me enough and grown a third ball to start talking to me!!
It-‘am I disturbing you?’
Me- yes!
It- ‘ ive noticed you about, and thought id say hello…’
Me- at this point I just look at him like,’ok bruv now get lost’
It- ‘so are you leaving soon’
Me- ‘yes!!!
It- ‘iwould you mind if I walk you home??’
Me- im thinking ‘so you can stalk me forever???hell flippin no!!’- but I politely reply saying ‘no’ not realising that I should have said yes and so I quickly yet simultaneously retarded say ‘YES.YES I WOULD MIND’!!!
He then proceeds to say, am I disturbing you again!!!
i mean there is repetition for emphasis but this one was just annoying. I told him yes you are!!He left and that was the end of that…

I have sadly seen him many a time since that fateful the day on that cold November evening. I saw him once as I came out of my accommodation!!!DAMN!! so he knows where I live with murphy,eileen and janete.

aziza and kanda saw him in action just yesterday in the lib. This time he decided to give us a playboy pose- ass all pert,leaning over on the table and slowly swinging his derrière from left to right right infront of us!!the guy knew what he was doing!!-the tease!!lol!!!!
we had a great laugh at his expense!!!!I kinda feel bad cos I always see him in the lib when im with someone and we just burst into fits of laughter!!!(yes, eileen, murphy,kz,ayo,jum and jetts even though ur all the way in venice HOMIE!!!!)

Right now im in the lib, and I can see his freshie friends randomly dotted around the computer area.

Ok, you would think that ive learned my lesson and steered clear of this place, but the dissertation has to be done!!(as well as the facebook and the blogging)
'Manny' described to me a similar geezer so im thinking the guy is tryna run game on all of us!!lol!!

Well this is my story of someone’s uncle out there!! Dunno whose uncle it is but when I find them, it’ll be war!!-hectoria,dont think hes from your side cos this one is serious!!!as in lock me up serious!!oh hex, hows my supposed uncle in warwick??next week is part two!!this one, although marginally more refined that the one in the aforementioned paragraphs, is almost bookworthy!!til then my lovelies, ciao!!

BOYS ON A CHIRPS

2007-02-04T16:16:00.000-08:00

hey.im new to this...moved from xanga so sorry if the story is a bit chip chop...im just continuing my blog.
i should really do an introduction about me and all but youll soon find out!!
Im the ultimate britico babe.dont front (cos i dont know how to) and love to eat.love my ends of london-north west all the way(cuss my ends and you'll get boyyd) and can be VERY local as in 'AJCT holler'!!.love using ghetto words that i sometimes dont understand-thats quite enough of me....so here goes

Uh oh!!!I think Im gay!!!- ha ha-that got ur attention!!-Im not really- i rebuke it over my life!!!in the name of Jesus!!!!and they all said 'AMEN'
I wrote a poem today on the train. don't laugh!!!I was bored and i was feeling like some Carol Ann Duffy or some other poet laureate!!so here goes!!!

lemme explain a little-
so ive been in this situation where i really need to put my 100 percent into God and so this is about not compromising your principles!!!If you dont believe in star signs then don't try to dumb yourself down to be accepted within a group of friends!!!what can i say???im crazy for Jesus!!!

Now its my turn.
Ive dodged it for far too long.
All eyes are on my lips
all ears are on my words
'So, whats your star sign?'
I inhale a little air to gain my composure
My eyes jog across their hurdles of expression
'Uhh...'
My tone softens
as my echoes cement to the walls
' you always do this, whats your star sign?'
My chest vibrates,
and
My fingers tremble as i shout
'JESUS is my star sign'!!!

Back to something normal......

!!!Remember mr a and mr b???read previous entry-well im sure you dont cos this is my first post!!!well I kinda think that MR B thinks things are getting serious and me and my stupid self am getting attached to him!!!- hello???why am I gay?? I need some horse tranquilizers or something!!KILO DE???since when could i not control my emotions???this is real gayness!!and then my mate told me that how Mr A said hes been seeing me at 02 of recent- me im thinking 'uh hello,!!!i been goin here for like ten years'!!!Happy he noticed sha....shows someones been lookin!!!- I wont get carried away...made that mistake one too many times!!!
SITUATION!!!

On another thing, I was in Cricklewood today at the bus stop and this guy from the barber shop who tried to toast me a while back(while i was at the bus stop) just walked past. the joke thing is that I told him i was visiting and had no intention to ever venture to northwest London again!!!little did he know i lived round the corner!!!!lol!!!anyhow, guy was TRYING TO woo me by saying he owned the barber shop and all but i was sooo disturbed by his mankey feet and his nasty breath that i really almost had to take a seat- either that or faint- then my bus came.

And another cheek.....some boy like this, who is no more than 4 foot 6(1.2metres) is all scopin me!!!im thinkin, what the....????....go pick on someone your own size. Me im not a short babe and i don't need a leprechaun!!!- i got enough luck thank you!!!-dont get it twisted im not heightist.I dont discriminate.its just like the guy was looking at me with eyes wey be like ashewo...

REALIZATION BOUT THE UGLY THING THAT IS TRUTH!!!
Oh and Ive decided that I'll never be the one known as 'the pretty one' -Ive come to terms with it surprisingly. But then again, I really would prefer to just brush my teeth, shower and go crack jokes with friends than spend an hour getting ready to go and stare at people so i don't ruin my makeup!!!being pretty is relative....and I'm relatively unnoticed (don't worry....I'm not feeling suicidal- I still love being crazy and random!!)
But sometimes i do wish I was the babe all the guys would talk about or the one that people would be like 'o!!!that fine babe' but one can only dream!!!its all good sha!!!Don't mind being known as the clever,slightly unbalanced, beastly, psychotic one!!!- that flows with me too!!!

On another note met some of my uni friends and it was sooo cool!!I really miss them.I just realized that I go to uni with a bunch of really cool guys who have no typical nigerian guys hang-ups and are sooo funny!!-why did it take me 3 years of uni to get to this conclusion???Anyhow, now im here i think i might host a little dinner for them once in a while cos they are naija boys and naija boys and food is like flies to shit!!!!
dont worry, yall will get some egusi too!!- In the form of a picture!!

well its kinda late-its nearly the end of my sabbatical so Im gonna have to cram in as much dinner dates as possible!!!!-yea right!!!- Its gonna be me myself and i at Nandos, Zizzi's and Ozer BAr!!!never mind. But if you see me around london, dont be afraid to say hello!!!holler!!!lol!!!ill be the loser in the corner with my sangria or glass of ribena!!
I hope everone is behavin and not man crazy like me(MStofu)!!!!
love ya like the third mainland bridge!!