Saturday, 26 July 2008

This is a rambling post so dont bother reading if you dont want to hear serious dust!

Shebi shebi we on fire...kini big deal...you just dey wind am well,im the biggest boss that you seen thus far... yebariba swaggga swagga eeeeenn, Gongo aso....lori le o di gombe...fi'le...ba beh.. le le le le le le....

Sorry just got back from a party...Have you ever had one of those days where you hate the world? ok not haate but everything is getting on your freaking nerves- your friends are completely messed up and you want to do an overhaul of the system and tell people to fuck off- but you cant...cos you are just not that type of person...

I am very much passive agressive but of recent, certain events have led me to become psycho biach and i dont particularly like it but human being are just effed...

My friends are all annoying me or have all annoyed me in one way or another recently. I am like argh!! leave me alone... I think i need to get away from peeps- I notice that noone really gets me and maybe thats a sign- that i shouldnt really try and 'get' anyone...

i just want to curl up and cry... you can pick your friends but you cant pick your family... seems like i have picked a right bunch of annoying people...is it cos I am annoying? HEll freaking NO! i dunno actually!

My friend is having problems with her man, so she goes to her ex for attention- i dont know how that makes sense sha...the person is your ex for a reason...i suppose thats why i am me and you are...ummm YOU!

I go and chill at your...but how much do i trust you and how real is it? hmmm- i dunno!!

I think i have very high expectations of my friends-and rightly so- i am VINDI for crying out loud!! my parents didnt raise no fool- I was brought up to set high standards for myself and the people around me! When they fuck up, I get mad! like i cant even stand to have your number on my phone cos i want to break it... I am not anal- i am just set in my ways...-lol!

One of my ex friends (she doesnt know it yet) ex boyfriend is a bit of a catch...but because she messed up the guy soooo much, I dont even want to do referral for him- im not saying he needs a referral...anyone that knows him will know that but after my ex friend messed him up- he probably wont admit it but I know the truth... he fell for her in 2nd year and was just waiting for her dickhead of an ex ex to ouddie... so this guy chilled for 2 years only for the babe to mess him up!! Guy got fried mehn!
This is the only exception where i feel the guy has every right to curse abuse and use women... cos that is messed up!!

another potential ex friend of mine (if she doesnt do something which i think she is going to do...- argh!! I just want to scream- but instead- tears- dont worry Im not crying... I stopped crying a long time ago- i just tired of all that sweaty water... boring!!! I want to laugh!! like real laughter...where i want to cry...

Well, I am going to be happy again...just you wait and see- i need to make a new set of friends...

slater, im off to mail Tininu o!! This is gonna be weird...

So Went to a parry today- was bounz sha...who am i lying to ? the only bounz thing was errr...ME! and my gorgeous 'friends'- i need some real people in my life jor...

men will continue to irritate me though...so what if she is 'just' your girlfriend... go fucking home bruv! I just dont get it...why all these game...

aAnyhow, this parrrttty- chosps babes, guys- usual runz...- soo tired of the 9ja circle...It kills me sometimes... You see two people talking and ur like 'oh shit... I know him/her...crap'

Like today, at this parry- saw my friends ex (friend is a mumu for leaving the guy sha...suppose she was too scared of something sensible and responsible- not something she is used to...lol! whatever, im a bitch...shes a mumu! It happens...) anyhow, i see my friends ex...have to be polite...was actually quite a catch...( her ex before the ex was a scarecrow of sorts- and rude and had NO social skills...I mean Ajegunle social skills...horrific stuvs! so i said wassup and then i saw this babe i knew- this one is a stunner...like i am a babe and i am like...beyonce aint got nothing on her...o fine mehn!!anyhow...when i say wassup to her, my friends ex gives the 'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stiiiiiiiiiittttt' look like 'how do they know eachother?' and im thinking.... 'YEah baby, lemme get some gist...' but if the two of them are getting together good for them...i want my ex friend to see how majorly she missed road...she ws looking for fan ice...and she came back with ragolis...anyhow, this is me...

I dont know how to sort out this friendship thing- maybe i should migrate to Norway! or Australia jor- just want to get rid of old ties and people... they are killing me...slowly... So what do you suggest i do with the irritating people in my life? anyhow, i must dash...the bed calleth...

Monday, 21 July 2008

Rndaom Thoughts

Bonjour mis amis (crap village fwench i welcome you with)

How body? My body dey fresh as the morning sun ...ooo- reminds me of that Van Hunt song 'precious as the morning sun'! what a bad first year song... reminds me of my room in 1st year at uni...memories...dont ask me why i was listening to baby making song in my room- alone- nothing sordid jor- its just the only time i can get a bit emotional and really think before people start looking at me just cos they thing that i have evolved to have emotions...

I have been on the path of confusion of recent.

I realised that I am in many ways a chicken...not in the 'kpaaa kpaaaa' kind of way but the courageous kind of way- I have never bitten the bullet- im too scared my teeth will crack from the metal...

Well im working and im happy with my job...God is amazing and i need to look to him...

I have realised a few things about myself these last few weeks well hopefully, im still anon so here goes...

* i get mad at people and i let it all rip (not fart) but i get sooo mad! like i want to slap them so hard they curl up in a ball and think about their life...

*I find it very easy to push people away...when i say away..i dont mean stop talking to me o- this one na the one where I dey make someone think of emigrating to anoda country o! somewhere like Mongolia... or Laos!

* Im not sure if i have evolved into this very good rude,sarcastic person who doesnt care about what people think about her...the way i see it, people will always talk and will want to talk about you so might as well just ignore everyone.

* Every guy that has tried the treacherous road to Vindis heart has been burnt by either the nonchalance or the sarcasm... and thats in small doses...
Now, i am in no way regretting this cos in the end they end up having flaws of some sort...so everythign maps out...but i just think, if i wasnt so...errr...'vindi like' would anything remotely fruitful have developed from these 'things'? well that is what i keep asking myself... but in the platonic sense...

*I have realised that I am damaged- through no fault of my own...i mean a part of me wants to blame myself cos i could easily have not gone to sit on his lap but i cant help but almost break down and cry... so after i was hmm how do i say it without sounding like it didnt affect me cos it is soo faaaking evident it has...well i suppose the longer i hide it, the worse it get...but what am i supposed to do? there isnt a 'oh i was touched up when i was young and this is how you deal with it' so I suppose ill just have to learn...innit!

*i have come to reaise that the only people i trust after the incident is my dad and my bro- and both of them are solid character...ok my bro likes babes...cos he too is fine..(runs in the fam...we get it from God...dont hate)

*anyhow, i sorta understand myself well enough now to know who and what God is going to provide for me( i was gonna say who i want but you dont usually get what you want but what God wants for you...which is ALWAYS better!!!)

*So now i realise that I dont really trust guys...i will pretend for only so long...up until the 'intimate' stage...which is when i zone out and act like amnesia soemhow grabbed me by the neck and shook alll the neutron or whatever out of me!

* Its quite straightforward as to why i dont trust them really...You might be saying 'well vubdi, you gott agive em a chance...' err i did, and they blew it... yes, they are not all the same but if you have been burnt by a flame... thats not the first place you would consider going back to right?

* Its not like ive gone all le-le on y'all- Slater is e-proof of that- lol...dont find babes attractive...makeup shoes, accessories...long... men just wear a shirt, avec corduroy pants and a mad pair of Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and we are good to go...if they want, they can throw in a cravat if they are feeling funky fresh and all but im even starting to see that whole, boujie look as a bit dated sef...

*lol, naija guys...kai...they are serial cloners mehn!!!
This is the list so far of the major fads... from when i was say 15...dont wanna go too far back cos we will be talking bout action man and all that...
so, there were:
-Timbs...kai, you dudes rocked them die!! I remember seeing one do some martix stuvvs and change from wheat to black sef! Really wearing in the shoe... some dudes still rock theirs sha...i dont knock it...lol!! who am i lying to??? kai...because i had a pair(yes had, threw them away cos they were far too heavy to take anywhere...all that posing for what? its like carrying a bag of gari on each foot...no wonder goiz never used to run...and now you all have acquired that slow walk from those shoes...crippling youselves cos of fashion... babes cannot talks sha...i have seen women whose 5 toes are kissing the ground... the whole point of shoes is that your feet (toes included) are to be inside the shoe...the peep toe is not for your four/five toes to pertrude out and scare people jor...

sorry, had to rant...
-the next was the converses...actually, dont know which came first...the converse or the RL shirts... for the sake of avoiding an argument, ill say Cons...
-Kai- one dude used to feel with his cons...and they were only £30!!! AZZZINNN!! Relax mehn..its not that serious! Got mine in the sale...those things had been out since...and now peeps were clocking on like it was the new LV mehn...relax...

- then there was a phase women would flock for DKNY bags...like for real?? i didnt get the hype sha... but i still grabbed me one...

-then there was our friend...REALPH! lol- big ups cracker club mehn...lol!! Realph Lauren stole our money o!! I remeber when it was just the plain polo shirt...i dont know how many of the guys wearing a polo shirt actually knew how to ride a horse (no dirty jokes please) but yeah... that was MAD... I see a few here and there (especially in that kilburn side mehn) kai...

oh but the killer was when every 9ja guy thught they were bobby Valentino in 'Slow down' with that rainbow shirt...it used to make me dizzy o!! Thats how one woh woh of a dude would be trying to halla and all i would be looking at was the dizzy coloured lines... those people tried...£70 for a shirt...you don dey craze right? i mean, im not saying you should shop in Matalan but that kind of stuvvs is not necessary...

-0 then there was Von Dutch- Who remember that? The belt was sometimes ABA made but kai...naija guys tried o!! I remember one 'dude' sef... think it was the second or third time i has seen him (before he started eating for two- the guy done sumo on us mehn)
* memories mehn...Von Dutch...
-then there was vans...they slowly replace cons in the £30 shoes...i was thinking...errr where have you been...since college, all them Emo oyinbo kinds have been rocking them... but anyhow, so thats the story so far...

- with Naija babes, well everyone seems to be a budding fashion designer...Im not knocking it sha...Ives seen some good ones...I remember something at strawberry moons... cant remember what exactly but i remember thinking 'BOUNZZ BOUNZXZZ BOUNZZZZ'- those people tried mehn... I wonder where they are now...cant even remember the name but that fashion party was talked about for at least 2 months and you know naija parties... its like the C11 bus, when one has gone , you know another one is coming! lol!

* but the new crazy, Ed Hardy abi Harvey...i dont even send withfsahion these days... vintage...momsis wardrobe mehn...all the way...its cheap and clean...in fact its free sef!!

* I forgot to add the Gucci monogram shoes phase...not really a phase sha...just for the few dudes... EFFIZZAAYYYY!!!- pointless concept really- difficlut to clean and to environemtnally friendly cos once they were dirty, that was it really so you had to dump them and buy a new pair...


Well this is me. So far...The scared missy stuck in this big city with people who have BIG dreams for her but she doesnt have a clue...I think that was the best thing someone said to me...its the truth... im Worryingly scared of getting married...What if i am disappointed?? like, after all my 20 or so years waiting...for nothing...I can be a christian and say well God has a bigger plan but i am human...I pray God gives me strength... This is probably my biggest dilemma at the mo!

Wel, have to go...need to put on a brave face for the world...Fearless, assertive, sexy vindi here i come...