Tuesday, 29 January 2008

FBI

FBI- Face book Investigations

So i yarned about this dude that was scoping me at the airport on the way to nige right?...anyhow, when i was in my element of joblessness i did some FBI sturves- in both senses of the word- i was loooking through people who i like to class as social humming birds profile and pictures and stumbled across his pic!!sheeet- Hengish...hes very near you o-some ibo sturves like this- refined sturves sef... its not imperial but its part of UofL!!now i can stalk the mofo!!not really- now, its all about tactics- i know the mutual fren but ill let Vindi the female warrior make an appearance. so i jus gorra wait for a parry to drop and voila!!im bettin 8/10 hell be at the Pulse thing sef so ill be looking extra bounz(not like i dont anyway)...
k, lemme stop messin about- i will not stalk him-no matter how fine and modelesque he looks!!he is one of those one youll be like 'Ayy bay bay...ay baybay'!!anyhow this is one of my many strategies for the next few weeks-im not looking fwd to vals day- AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!ill probably be blogging about the importance of being single!lol...being the saddo that i am!!i will refrain from FB that day.
anyhowz...this was a quickie just to let youknow about my movements...
wait sef, i forgot to mention that the dude is a juvi!whoops, musta slipped my mind while i was trippin over the guys physique!I wouldnt mind giving him a medical!
ciao

Monday, 28 January 2008

Onwards and UPWARDS

Todays song is by M people- moving on up, moving on up, dun dun dun dun dhun...moving on up moving on up...dun dun dun dun dun...cos im moving on up...nothing can stop me...

Does anyone remember ace of base- they were TEEWWWW MAAAAADD!!'all that she wants is another babay, shes gone tomaw but all that she wants is another baybay...dun nun dun nun nun!!!I used to go wild over the funky beats men!!!yall need to youtube that sturrvs!and snaps ive got the power!!

Sorry about the last post- I didnt realize how extensive my french vocabulary was!!whn i say french i mean swearing o)!i truly apologise.I have gotten over the whole situation sha so dont worry, I wont be throwing 'bad wods' at you via your screen...

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement!!much appreciated- rinsola was first so i gotta give her props, Hengish who has prodded me along to blog blog blog!!i like that youve kept to your side of the deal but I am trying to keep up with you...your own one arm thing is sad- that nurse!well we thank God you have both hands to write your blog!keep it up. The paradigm- nicely put!and honeywell pls dont sue o!i just dey forget like fish!!hope there is no copyright infringement o!!i cannot afford de lawyers!ma binu o!
solomonsydelle- Its not Jazz o!!Im just cool like that...if you hang about long enough it might rub off on you... 30+- tanz for cominz by sorry about my french! and my american star...yes you miss pearse- I will try and have a sense of humour about things next time. yoshi baby and Anu boy- once again tenzz tenzz!!I cant believe none of you thought of a way to get him back!!!wow!!y'all come from good homes o!I was expecting to get some mad revenge tips but all i got was people telling me I should forgerrit and fashi the guy! thanks God will bless you this week!As a christian we should forgive seventy seven times seventy seven abi(aint read the Bible in a while men-) but anyho, ill use this as minus one!

fineboy just came outta the wilderness of the real world and all its wahala!Tens very musshh!The gist is that Fineboy is getting married ooo which is why he has not blogged!!

lol!!dont mind me- im just a little stirrer!Soz fineboy but you been out cold for a hot mirrit!But what is the story?id like to have your opinion on the whole fineboi MIA thing...I bet you he found love!well thats what im gonna spread!

Sorry guys but this entry is going to be a bit dry- im going to bed now but id thought id write something before someone opens my nyash again!

Meanwhile, I dont even like Mr A anymore- as in at all... I thank God o!!Cos there was a point that i thought my life was over if i didnt see or speak to him again- Thank the Good Lord for common sense! so by some bad decision making via my brain i decided that I was a grown adult and could allow all his attempts to runz me...but as soon as i added him on FB i changed my mind- the crazy psycho woman that I am decided that he was a complete dimwit(i really tried not to swear) and i should not associate myself with such scum!! I decided that he was a loser and even though he added me as a friend, i would not go to his profile...

This lasted for 3 days- men curiosity got the better of me-then i thought lemme just see the guys pics now...kini?I wont die now!It doesnt matter if hes fine or feelings start rushing back via the comuter screen...ill just remove him from my friends before i am tempted to write in his inbox(the wall is such a lame way of telling people you have a social life)

anyhow, i got to his pics and im like.....WOAH...is THIS what i was tripping about??
in my head all that burst out in one ghetto ass americana type of accent is 'dang gurl!!he aint nuthin'!!i was soo confused!!was this the same one that was giving me sleepless nights?the same one that i tried to figure out- the same one i used to trip like a MUUUUMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUU for? ahhh ahhh- i was upset cos Arinze was waaay finer!!

I have come to the conclusion that it was jazz cos the dude is aight but what i was tripping for is another thing altogether and he is actually friends with the one i abused the life out of in the last entry! but anyho, I just thought id blog and let the world know that vindi has moved on!!finally! I suppose i was expecting goosebumps and all but narrings- I was even a bit embarrassed!!i looked at myself in the mirror and then i looked at him and thought 'YEE!!As in, Im finer than him o'!!ok not leaps and bounds but enough sha!!

The guy did me greazy sha but im waaaaaaaayyyyy to fly for all that- Hengish, Im coming for that pulse thing o so im expecting VIP runz o!!I wast all your chem eng, pipeline eng, petro chem engineers who work in the oil and gas market o!- i want them fine o!!no woh-wohs allowed...one of my girls is on the ACS so Im going to give her moral support!I just hope people i dont want to see arent there(i don bastardise hinglish o-double negative makes a positive)- we all have those people you would rather projectile vomit at than say wassup to and be giving pretentious 2 kisses like we are french when our passport is GREEN!!!
So hengish, if you dey for ACS event sha holler so i can organise sturves for you nau- i dont want the dude to be hanging round me cos he will try and spoil my runs and telling people that im pregnant for his kid and all that...(the guys fineness is intimidating- even i have to up my game that day-need to look for shoes to wear sha!

so onwards and upwards- I need to find a real christian man- babes are getting older now- yes i know, ive been gobbled up by the green eyed marriage monster- sue me!!i dont want to be a spinster!! Im just starting early cos i know what im like and it takes me a while to warm up to people!!
Hengish, sorry this one is dry but im sooo tired!!!

Anyhow, if anyone knows that dude that was at Bond street station last week with this bounz navy sailor outer coat lookin fresh to def- holler!!like for reals- some maaaddd Blair Underwood crossed with omar epps, dark chocolate thunder, sweet black cherry kinda sturves-!!i almost missed my step on the escalators!!he sha got on the jubilee line going towards Wembley park so haller!If the shops werent closing, i woulda stalked his ass men-ok- its not that bad!!well must go and finish facebooking and then sleep like a baby!!
bye!!

Monday, 21 January 2008

i am soooooooooooooooooooooooooo ANGRY

Some people are dickheads, some are complete wankers and some people are just enemies of progress!!

Ok so watch this, you first try and rape me and try and tell the whole world that we did sturves!!err i was helpless drunk and you with your dirty finger nails took advantage- and then you try and make it seem to the whole world as if i freaking LIKE YOU!!!Err far from it you dirty bush rat! I dont know if your purpose in life is to always mention my name to feel like on hot stuff or walleva but know this fuck face, I would never on a sober day even ja you face-

So after I was 'manhandled' as a kid and molested and what not, you think id allow a guy as useless as yourself near me??I have taken responsibility for my drinking that day/night fair enough. but dude, i did not come on to you so why did you pick me out of everyone there? they say the people the highest up have the greatest fall. ooooooooooo sooooooooooooooo true!!

I thought i was being polite when i didnt tell people what went down. I was being a lady cos under some blind assumption i thought you were going to be a gentleman- a gentleman never discloses his private business!!you fucker!!pardon my french!-dont think i have ever sworn so mushhhh on this- I didnt want to tell everyone how desperado you were in wanting to go to never never land with your mouth!!you dirty boy- plain nasty- so even after i declined and you still forced yourself onto and tried to rape me, i was quiet!!i said nothing- What is even more annoying is that you were and still am one of the most unattractive men i have ever come across- you with your nasty shoes- I have not spoken to you in 3 years and now you wanna be telling the world that you know me- Mr mumu head, listen here. If you think life is a popularity contest which consists of claiming to know people and then smiling saying no when asked if we are friends(at least youre not that much of a dickhead) and then smiling to insinuate shilt, bitch, you are soooo wrong!!When next i see you at one of those 9ja parties. I will take off my gucci stilettos (who am i lying to? i got them from Zara) anyhow, i will take off my shoe and slap you with it!YOu watch and i will expose you for the rapist you are!Wait til i get immigration on your ass!!you think you can hide in that village with that your useless passport?

This guys sef. you dont know me and you ddont know what I am capable of so i wouldnt go shooting my mouth off about near conquests. You dont know my life story so fuck right off the page mate!I have deleted you from memory and you should do the same mr jobless. I am supposed to be working!i have grown out of your crowd of faker friends- Its even more of a tragedy that your friend was hotter and you think i like you?pele o!!i think the cold in this country has got to that small brain of yours and made a right mess.


but anyhow,I got this from someones blog, cant remember but it really helped me:"I have come to the understanding that God commanded us to forgive for one reason: Unforgiveness eats away at your life. Seriously. Think about all the ways harboring your unforgiveness has hampered you. You may have lost certain people in your life. You are uncomfortable when the person you are angry with is around. You can't even enjoy yourself when the person is there. Sometimes, you even dislike some friends you currently have because they are friends with the one who hurt you. And the list goes on."

monday morning rant. off to work now!! have a fab week.

Friday, 18 January 2008

Go on girl wich your fine self!

So I am not the happiest person right about now- you know how family problems can just spoil your mood!!i been like this for the best part of the week!!what kind of stupidness is this?
Anyho, Slater J, you are not serious!!i did not shell!!i had to go through my last blog to check!!Or worse still, ive become numb to shells!kai!!that would be tragic.

but this is gonna be a total rant today!!i have had it with stupid ass children!!all those juvi's at the Edgeware bus station- piss off you jobless ghetto ass sellotape hairstyles and all!!and the boys who feel that i want to hear you sing Marques Houston up in the club- trust me, you will not get a recording deal that will get you out of the hood with that voice so just chill and read your books!

Anyho, my future is looking majorly bounz and bright!!apart from the nudge nudge wink wink sturves in nige- as per- dudes tryna holler and dudes tryna fall in love with me- not knowing my wahala!

Its quite funny cos while i was in Nige, i was such a nice foreign person- i was tipping like a mumu though and i got into almost everything for free- no tip needed this time! but anyhow, I was so nice to peeps. id see random people in a queue and just start gisting with them, wishing them a happy xmas- it was fun- some people were trying to put on some majorly forced britico/americana accents!

now im back in Jand, im one angry mofo again- shouting at everything that moves!
LP babes, im still waiting for your blog o!!and i too hope it wasnt your man!!if it was- dayum!he was sha talking to someone for a while before we boarded the flight so who knows!

I remember going to palms with my friends and some guy spoke to me in hausa saying that he had seen me in Kaduna over xmas!lol!!i nearly laffed- i did the usual 'nnaji hausa kadan kadan'!!which means i dont grab o!!but i know how to say that in 5 nigerian languages!

so has anyone seen D'banjs crude new song- anakonda- he didnt even spell it correctly!anyho, how nasty is he- who cares if his stuvvs are the size of a 150year old pine tree!!this babe and many others are not concerned in the slightest!!- i for one think he is hiding a twig cos you wouldnt need to boast about something like that. not to be nasty but you can see the bulge for yourself! talking of bulge, i think i Mr A had like the biggest- i swear he was packing a pair of socks!or maybe he was just happy to see me!:-) anyhow, back to less crude things,

but my rant- the fam wants to know what im doing with my life!!-i dunno men- im working but its not exactly what one would call a job!

anyho, i almost fell back into Mr A's arms- jeez!i dunno what is going on- i think its just cos so much is going on and the last person i let 'get to me' was him and also, i think i need a distraction from whatever it is that is going on in the fam!- i almost called him-just to say hey! who am i fooling!? i still have feelings for him but what is one to do?Shiiit, babes are too fly to be waiting about! but there is this other one, im not too too interested but i need a distraction- i just hope he is not looking for quick sturves cos he will be very VERY disappointed- I actually pride myself on being on a long ting! Im not about to drop it like its hot cos you like me- do i have mugu written on my forehead!?allow!but the thing is im not very inviting when we yarn and i dont really have time to be overtly nice and flirt- one cos i dont feel comfortable- im sure if i passed out in front of him drunk as a skunk id be ok with him after cos he has seen me at my worst so it can only get better right!?

I feel like that babe in commons new vid- i want you- not bounz

anyhow, i think ill stop here for today- nothing is really happening at the mo in my life- one of my bestos(male) has been trying this whole 'you are one of my bestos and i dont know how i cope without you'- men. the guy is not even gonna try those runs cos after i told him i liked him a year ago and we didnt even talk about it- I swear, ill fly kick him if he even tries to say he has feelings for me cos i will tax his ass and then tell him i dont have feelings for him

before i go, can someone explain this to me? so if your friend is trying to matchmake you to someone who you kind of like but you arent too sure, how then will her telling you that he is very minted attract you to him?hmm!!cos it didnt work for me!if anything, i was like, ok great, competition!Yall know vindi will not be outdone!

Ok, must do some facebooking before the end of my lunch break. ciao!

Tuesday, 15 January 2008

Tagged by Xhale!

Two Names you go by:
1) Vindi
2)VTI

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1) My sexy dior royal blue and white shirt
2) a merino wool jumper

Two Things You Would Want (or have) in a Relationship:
1) Jesus at the head and heart of every decision(i know three is a crowd but this is the only exception)
2) clarity and a huge dashing of honesty

Two of your favorite things to do:
1) Analysing things and people as well as cursing my nearest and dearest loved ones
2) Making people happy- i am actually genuinely concerned about your happiness.

Two things you want very badly at the moment:
1) Some clarity from God about the numerous things going on in my life(i know you are reading this God)
2) To know myself more in Christ

Two pets you had/have:
1) Never had a pet- dont see the point!but if i was to have a pet, it would be a giraffe
2) the next one would be elephant

Two people you think will fill this out:
1) I dont have a clue
2) I dont have a clue 2

Two things you did last night:
1) Went on Facebook
2) Watched Eastenders

Two things you ate last night:
1) Beans
2) Gari and ground nut

Two people you last talked to:
1) My cousin
2)my sister

Two things you're doing tomorrow:
1)Getting those Jeans from Gap
2) send something off to my friend

Two longest car rides:
1) One trip to Leeds I took-LONG!!
2) Trip to The Village!!-allow those runs!!

Two favourite holidays:
1) xmas in nige-y'all know it was LIVE
2) 29th of Feb- Its not a holiday but i always look forward to that day!!i get mmajorly excited.

Favourite Beverages:
1) No lie- Bitter Lemon schwepps
2) Chapmans with malibu

Person no longer alive you'd like to talk to:
1) no barry!!Ill speak to them in heaven!
2) like i said, no barry.

now i tag everyone who has read this!ill be looking around to see if you have done what vti has told you!

til next time

Thursday, 10 January 2008

swerrie baby like Ijebu gari!

hey hey hey!!Vindi baybay is back in the building!!halla!!!NIGE WAS AMAZING!!TOO MANY MUMUS AND TOTAL CLOWNS!
Lagos was cool- actually it was hot!!very hot!!
So the trip was tight!!where do i start??k, so i got my flight into the country but before hand my sister told me to buy like 12 drinks from duty free- see how everyone was looking at me like i was an alcholic!!had like 6 bottles of wine, corvoursier, some martell sturves, grey goose, baileys and all sorts- and this was upon the perfume i was told to but also!!some people dont realise i have 2 hands and im not some alien with 4 hands!anyho. on my flight- kai, bounz sturvings!!i mean the shoes werent the hottest but the torso was MAD!!i tried to use my make up mirror to peek behind and see how far!!i mean, the guy was scoping babes(naturally-being a bounz babe and all- but this blog entry is not about blowing my own trumpet so anyho)

The guy fine- he had like furry caterpillar eyebrows which for some unknown reason i find very manly-sexy!!like honestly, i got up numerous times just to have a look- his shoes looked like it had been through a lot but i really didnt care men!!see fine guy- and there was no designer or any effizi or any of that naija lazy boy walk- but this one was on point o! YOu know when someone has bounzness in the blood!!wearing one tight tee- tew mad men!

anyho, i didnt see him again but the pictures of facebook from FLYYY had some majorly bounz ones of him- ok, call me a stalker or waddever!when i saw dude at the airport i was like this dude looks familiar but i dont know where from!!-when it clicked-ie facebook, i just thought to myself 'FACEBOOK STALKER'!!!

So now when i arrived in nige with my 12 bottles of alcohol- being vip sturves customs didnt stop me and do their uselessness- i mean they are only doing their job!!yeah right!!me i was just smiling at everyone saying goodmorins like one over janded babe!!you shoulda even seen what i was wearing- can anbody say TRAMP!!it was bad o!!i was wearing these ninja trousers with one grey dress and a green cardigan and some plimsoles i bought recently which i have fallen in love with!!

anyho that was my first encounter with boounz sturves before i got onto the airport!i didnt see him again as i flew into abuja and stayed in lagos for most of my time as i have never been there really!!abj was cool but it seems like everyone is an honorable someone or another!
Nige was fun!!well it wasnt fun when they took light and pops was not ready to hear the noise of the gen so we just read this day and abused politicians!- i wont even start to rant here about Ribadu cos that whole story get nyash like volcano!

the next sturves was just there- nothing bounz about im!!- hen we were leaving him(my fam and i ) the dude said to my cousins 'you have all these burreful lahdies in your car' i was laffing like a mumu!!razzo!!


Ok, i learnt something from my trip tho- the only thing that seperates nigerian men is money(most of the time)!they walk the same(like they are entering a premier or papparazzi are round the corner ready to take foto! also, they talk the same, from mallam selling suya to gate man to pure water seller to that politicians son you know(we all know one) they all say -'AZZZ INNNNNNN'!!- and they all wear polo shet!with or without the horse!!and converses and vans-k, me too i carried my cons and vans there but ive had mine for like 5 years- since i went to school with awon preppy country village kids!!but anyho, i wont talk about how ahead i am with fashion!

ok, some guys are well mannered and classy- like my dad and my uncle- but some of todays boys are annoying- because your pops stole money from the govt which has resulted in the poverty gap wideneing you have the balls to tell me 'do you know who my dad is?'- mumu- do i look bovvered?nah mate so check yourself!ask yourself this question, 'WHO ARE YOU'?-a nobarry who has been moving universities and changing course for the last 5 years or better still, it took you 7 years to complete a 3year course even though you studied in jand or in yankee- you were better off staying in nige and asking pops to pay for someone to give you a degree in business admin!!anyho, my rant is over- but as i said before,if anyone asks 'do you know who my dad is' reply- 'who are you'?cos more often than not, they are nobarries!!

Ok, what is it with every 9ja babe thinking they are the next Anna Sui??i mean, the cranberry girls stuff is cool and what haute mag is doing is off the chain but i must say this- babes- its not by force!this designer sturves is not for everyone!!im happy telling my tailor what i want made!!- but anyho, how una dey? hope yall are well- im about to revive the blog world this year!!so watch out!!Miss pearce, slerra J and by Gods grace and his grace alone, even Jack Bloggs!aint even checked out fineguy in a hot mirrit!catwalq, yosh and the rest- yosh sef, i was in your zone for a few days-abuja- went to ceddi plaza which seems to be the only place there!-too many ajebota kids there men!!- i fitted right in!!lol!!

ciao everyone and HAPPY new YEAR!!!next post is about my uncle trying to marry me off at all costs!!lol!!