Saturday, 27 September 2008

Question time....

1) How old are you?

Older than you think...22 amd 363 days- i think sha...

2) What characteristics would put you off a guy?

*Nasty shoes
*Nasty Breath to go with it
*An ugly face with an arrogant personality
*Yellow boys- that being said, it wont TOTALLY put me off- as life would have it
*Short (i mean below 5:10- my mates understand yyyyyyy)
*No swagger- even if its goofy, they carry it well...
*Does not thing Jesus is a big deal
*does not think I'm a big deal (lol- im playing)
*Someone that is what i call dry
*Eager to the point where its verging on desperado
*H-factor- Sorry mate...hir haint appunin
*Someone who is only about the stuvvs (either subtle or blatant)- this is a complete NO NO!!
*Champagne popping type of personality- they also somehow tend to have the last two also...
*No qualification
*No prospects

I think that completes that for now

3) Taking your personality & physical attributes into consideration what would you rate yourself out of 10 & why?

Ok. Ive never rated this may be a little hard.
*Hmm- so we start off with academia- think ill give myself 1.5 (miss P is one of those people Id give a 2 or 2.5- clever clogs)
*Then character- I think im patient, random and tend to be a serial clowner at the most inappropriate times(ie - when everyone is doing effizi, Vindi is trying to toast the shortest guy with the razzest lagos accent) ( Ill give myself 2.5- the 0.5 is for the fact that i aint a biach and I always have my friends best interest at heart.
*Looks wise....hmmm- Well Im not an 'acquired taste' so ill get at least one point.Last i checked, i was looking aight- i look good with or without make up and i dont look like a scarecrow in the morning so on that note...Aesthetically, id give myself another 3 points
and 1.5 for swagger-

The total is-8.5...hmmm- maybe I calculated wrong but anyhow...8.5 aint bad right...but i think id give myself a 7.99...noone is perfect...Id give myself an 8 but my christian life aint as bounz as id like (yeah, its my fault) but to be honest- i dont think im 7.99 or 8.5- Id like to see what you think...what would you give me out of 10?

4) If you could change one thing about your personality what would you change?

*Easy- to be that bit more open (NOT easy oooo) I said open - as per saying what is in my mynd...but apart from that, I think God did a pretty fantastic job

5)If you could change one thing about your body what would you change?

*I could easly write something here but Ill leave you with Psalm 139:14- I aint gonna knock the Creators work...
*Also, i think im so used to my body being this way that I am now very satisfied with my body- before i used to be soooo conscious and paranoid about my bathy but now I know that this is what im stuck with- I aint so sad...especially knowing that it could be a lot worse...and also knowing missy elliot says...'im really really hot'...hehehe- im playing

6) What do you seek in life?

Alright...deep question...lets hope I can answer it as fully as I can...
*World peace(I know right? I should really enter for Miss World)
*A good life for my fam and friends...i always have my friends and fams best interest at heart- no matter how angry i get...I dont know how my parents did it but even when someone has done me greazy, Ill still go all out for them- I suppose if Jesus was betrayed by his comrades and he still died for their sins, I dont see why I should be any different- after all- I dont need to die for their sins
*Success and everything that God has ordained for me...

7) Whats your favourite song?

* I have many so youll have to just wait on a sista...hers some off the top of my head
*ace of base- all that she wants
*Boyz 2 Men- Thank you in advance
*A whole lotta 90s music and 80's and 70's... 'you got to have a JOB if you wanna be with me'...
(talking of videos, did you see the official girl vid for cassie??-when lil wayne takes off his glasses he looks like a right crackhead...- i hope he is ok and sorts himself out soon)moving on...
*Musiq Soulchild -Just friends
*Common- the list is endless- electric circus album- As much as people say it was when dude was mad, i thought is was bananas...- maybe unwritten is per 'I fly like paper, get high like planes'- but on a real...Ive never done weed- that is not for me...
*Other songs- Big Pun 100%- mad jam...
*Noreaga- Super thug ( what what what what wha what!- ayo we light a candle...)
*Jae Millz- My swag- that is such a jam to walk into the club with...lemme set the scene... youre about to walk into Bungalow8 and the chauffeur opens the door for you...flashing lights, then the intro...


8) How many boyfriends have you had?

Cant count on both hands... maybe cos that would be none, dilch, nadas, narrings... commi-phobe- Commitment phobia...

9)I must ask you 10 questions by*thinks* Have you ever met a guy that met your Mr Right criteria or came close to it?

*Well yah..No, not Mr Sherfield, or Tin tin or Jack Slater... real people...Well there was one but he had a girl (they all do as i have learned...)... but as sade would say...he was the 'Sweetest taboo'- not sure about him being too good for me sha...The names Vindi, get to know...lawl! I thought he would give me the 'kiss of life' I really thoguht his 'love is king'...but i soon realised be was just a smooth operator...

10) Okay Last question. Describe your ideal weekend.
*Friday- go straight to bed after work- wake up at 10 to get ready to go out with some friends...go out... get food(chicken or lamb shawarma from Edgware road) go home...
*Saturday til about 10am-Sleep, wake up, make breakfast for the fam- ideally a bacon, mushroom, spinach and cheese omlette served on brioche with some freshly squeezed juice and some hand prepared exotic friut (papaya, mango, guava, lychee...)
*Lunch would be rice of some kind- my second love after gari...
*dinner- Someone else will make this cos ill be dressing up to go out for dinner...
*After dinner...PARTAY... with my friends
*Sunday- wake up early for church (im always running 'a bit' after church have brunch with my church chums...laugh, gist, cause trouble (nothing dangerous or illegal sha) go home with a frappucino in my hand...
But this weekend,,,all ive done is sleep...and wake up- im making dinner which means chicks aint going out this evening...

11) Sorry one more!! What do you think makes you so scared of commitment??
* Girl... This is an interesting one... I dont know... Its not like my parents are separated or anything...In fact quite the opposite thanks to God Almighty...hmm- I suppose its cos I know what im like and i know the expectations I have of God's chosen partner for me and knowing that because they are human, they may disappoint( I said MAY not WILL- but because Im risk averse, MAY will always worry me as much as WILL)...

Now from Miss P:

- How much gari have you drank? -

My girl- too much...I thank God i didnt get kwashoko... I dont know when it started sha... but the love hasnt faded...

-Were you at the jesus house picnic??

I think i was the only person in london (9ja) that was not at the picnic...Seems like the whole on the nigerian community was in that hendon park...dont woory- if i was there and saw you...I most def would have hollered...

Mr Sherfield... Why dont YOU call ME!?? Being cheap again I see...dont worry...noones perfect...anyhow, I deleted your number cos you didnt call...Waste man!lol! Im just playing!

Aight...this has taken a while...sorry if it doesnt make sense... thats me!

hope you lot are enjoying the fantastic sun...Im indoors and i want the heating on like now...

See you later peeps...especially you Mr!

Sunday, 14 September 2008

random thoughts...Hellowwee....Is it me ur looking for? I can see it in your eyes...


sorry I been paper planes on yah!(get it??MIA)- its late- im allowed to say these type of jokes....

I was trying to make a song up about gari (I know right? I really need to grow out of this...Either that or speak to kex so i can spit a few barz on one track)

Soooo whats been going on??

Well I am in a better place now than I was a few weeks back...I suppose thats what happens when you draw to God and trust him in absolute proportions!!

Did anyone go to that and co parry on carnival weekend? I was going to but long story- i decided that I havent been to a 9ja parry for so long and really and truly my life did not mean anything less- I was still grubbing on my starbucks java chip frappucino with cream on top and chocolate and caramel drizzle! avec the marks and spencer cashew nuts...I shouldnt really say this cos then if you see me in my susal place- you will be able to spot me a mile off!- yes- i eat it in Zara and everywhere!If i could do that to gari, yall know I would...

So whats been happening...Mr Hardguy 101 dun did it again...
Miss P, Me i want my shait o!! de blue han white one will do mehn!!and do i have to pay $25??? can we not get a bloggers discount for only vindi?like say 100%lol!- im pushing my luck right!!??

Anyhow,how did you manage to buy 20 trousers from Zara- you said pant i was like 'huh= yankeed babe- its not her fault)- pant ko pant ni!lol!

So I was in Hendon last week- I was sent on a errand to buy some KFC for my cousin and sister cos they could not be bothered to cook and I was already out! So there I am in the tropical-like storm where you can see the direction of the rain cos its moving that much...and so as im about to enter...I see two beings...Its been a while since any bobo has made me look twice- i was even starting to think i was turning le-le but babes werent even making my head turn so I was like right...

So i now henta KFC- goodness gracious meeee!! I was just singing Black Rob in my head (he only really had one song- 'Woah') So i was like, why hav I been chilling at momsis when this is obviously where its at!! Now there were two- one was clever enough to leave his wallet by the counter - and i was kind enough to hand it to the Manager at KFC- can you imagine loosing your wallet just cos of KFC...I suppose hunger catch the dude well! So his friend (Gorgeous, might I add) was like 'are you high? I wanted to have a look and see the drivers license so see if it was hot stuvvings but i didnt want to be accused of being a thief just cos of fine bobo mehn!
Anyhoooo, I was bapitsed that day- it rained guinea fowl that day- not just cats and dogs...

And so to this weeks task...Im going to try and see how this tin tin qns and answers thing goes here...I obviously wont get as many cos I am not a social bloggerfly but we will see- Haxx me hanythin!

I realised one thing about myself this week though...I am officially the biggest scaredy cat on this side of Northwest london!! Every dude that has attempted to try and get a slice of the pie has either had a second circumcision (without anaesthetic) or has had their heard ripped out, jumped on a few times with my LK Bennett's ( i dont do jimmy choo- its not for everyone- if it was, they would have made it more affordable...)

So I realised:

That I dont like commitment- like I start sweating...not literally but it just makes my heart start up like an the last chap- we shall call him Ojo. Ojo was a decent human being by most standards- but when it came to me, kai, the guy did me greazy- as in i swallowed pepper! But I realised i only liked him cos he was not available and I knew that I would NEVER go out with or like someone fully like that cos morally, we were not on the same page...He thought something could have happened- I knew narrings was going down...I suppose thats why he did the silent retreat back to girlfriend camp- I still to this day dont know why he cheated...his babe is HAUTE, clever and everything...Men eh? there really is no pleasing them.. I suppose he realised the error of his ways cos dude is still with her...Well from what i last heard...but me nah curr (said in a Jammo accent)...

Next there was CNN- Geez I saw CNN at church this week- I thought i was gonna pass out- usually i chill small before i leave...but tis week, I swear people musta thought I was practicing for the 2012 100 meter sprint Olympics!Can you imagine this....

Ur at church, and then all of a sudden, someone who you have not (really) thought much about for the best part of 9 months just appears...I was stunned...and what did i say in my head 'Oh God!'- and I was in church!! and I kept saying it- Sorry God...I dont mean to call your that point, i thought, 'Yep, God has a sense of humour'

Well i gotsa go... work calls...and momsi is telling me to go to bed cos I have to be fresh and alert for!! I do love her to bits...

Well minky, i hope ur well and solomonsy...WOAH!! Its been a hot minute!! I need to check you out- least i know what ill spend my lunchtime doing...catchin up...

expect the usual essay type responses to your blog...I just realised i have been bloggin for like 7 years...that is a long time...I still have my old rejected blog...Ill pick a post from there to show you how ive evolved (if you can call it that)...

Ok people... think happy thoughts this week...Ill come up with a gari son by mid weeek- im thinking of using that woman Jennifer Hudson 'Well i dont mind..(he he) drinking ijebu gari (he he), maybe if you treat me righ (he he) i will let you have some ( i wil let you have some...) ...- work in usual...if you get any ideas, hit me up!

Haller! luv you like gari, ground nut and beans....WOW!! Now thats LOVE!!


Saturday, 23 August 2008

im getting berra

Hi People,

Sorry been MIA for a hot minute.

Let me take a moment to address a few things-
Sleepless in Seattle - When i referred to that i was trying to be funny (yes, some might say not trying hard enough)- I just meant it in a putting a face to a name! Sorry if i confused peeps

And tin tin- ill will reveal all- i wont die- i dont think - and I am VERY impressed you dont mix in 'that' circle - Theres nothing wrong with them- dont know or care to know them personally - i dont roll with peeps...

But yeah- i shall reveal all seeing as you got a tad pissed- was not my intention- I think thats the one thing i dont like- people being mad at me- Kai- that thing can just wind me up! I get really upset...anyhow...Just thought id clear that up

Anyhoooooooo, I have had a good week- God is doing his thing and Im in a better place than i was when i wrote the last blog- its funny how God can put things into focus!I really do love him!

Anyhow this week, ive been using the lyrics of a milli on my fam just for kicks- my little sister who is just a class act (yeah, it runs in the fam) was walking past and i was gisting with my bro...Thats how she must have said something about me being fat (wrong move!) and i was now like 'at least i dont have a belly,a belly a belly, a belly' lol! We really cracked up in the house o!

Ok, from that...Its the bank holiday- so what am i gonna do? I tried looking for Miss Pearse in brent cross die this week! KAI!! The babe hid well o!! I searched on the shoe section, the perfume then went up to concessions in Fenwicks NOTHING! then went to GAP- NOTHING!- Then went to Zara- again,NOTHING-

Ok, need to take a deep breath now- I have been trying to understand this marriage thing for a while now- Im not the type of person that is all about getting married- in fact im quite the opposite- I have been trying to understand why people would put themselves through it- Its too darn scary- you are just selling your life for half a bag of gari - WHERE THE HECK IS HALF A BAG OF GARI GONNA GET YOU??? Anyhow, I dont think im a commitment-phoebe but kai!! Every time i think of marriage (where I am involved sha) I feel like blocking! I swear- Im just worried on my wedding day, I dont run down the aisle cos I need to do a last minute blocking runz!- Sorry, thats a bit too crude but mehn- I fear o!

And Tintin, I was just pulling your leg o! Even if you did go to D'den, I wouldnt hold it against you! noones perfect! but the shakie is not bad o!but ur better off making your own sha!

So le stalker is bizzack! Welcome- you have been................................................................................................................................................................................................errr- missed!lol!

So my agenda for this week-
1) Get some gist for you guys- Im sure i have bored you so much that youd rather read rich dad poor dad again
2) Confront my facebook fears and delete some people and not looking back! Not like i even talk to them!*rolls eyes at the stupidity of second agenda*
3) Read my bible MORE and actually try and apply it to my life- you can never be too good to go to heaven...
4) Reveal my identity to dearest tin tin!
5) Try and be less sarcastic and a bit more honest- Well this one is if i have time sha- hodawizzzeee, ill be the usual sarcastic minx!

Oh gosh- i got lost at waterloo station o!! I almost wanted to cry- was waling round looking for the Jubilee line and kept hitting the northern line- or the bakerloo- YES, I can read- and I was exceptional at geography- but the signs just dey confuse me!

Anyhow, Got to prepare for church tomorrow- Ill pray tin tin forgives me- I still really dont know why ur speechless- I mean i get it but not really- PLEASE dont take offence o- My main objective of blogging is not to offend o!

Odabzzz my people!

Sunday, 10 August 2008

I aint mad no more

As Mad Skillz said, I aint mad no more- Sorry if you dont listen to hip hop- that one just went right over your head...

Before i start, Iencourage you all to watch jimmy carr- he is just on my wavelength!! His jokes are just- fresh to death!!

Well, what has been going on this week? hmm- well i think we are making progress with the whole Vindi the Defriender!- I was brutally honest to my friend. But it had to be done...Im all better now...

Anyhoooo, I found out who Mr Tininu is...if it is actually him, the guy is fresh faced and all that...and is friends with people I would rather not be friends with but such is life eh?lol! O fine o but err- Mr slater may be watchin (hey boo- cough cough- that was sooo cheesy- God forbid something that stinks of cheddar comes out my mouth again!! Wrong!

i am officially in love with lil Wayne... like I know- WRONG right... its in the rap sense sha...SOME of his lyrics are bad sha... the one he did with Juelz Santana on one mixtape is bounzzzzz- I was like rahhh blad...EAZZEEE!

Tpain was annoying but now im addicted...I need help! Listen, and the lyrics make me believe that there is hope for you menfolk!!

Any our dear friend (can I call you that?? oh well too late- im no beg friend sha...), Miss Pearse is in town!! WAaaaaaHEY- shame i stayed in all weekend... I mean, if ur in hendon, you should at least see me at BX mehn...

And not sure if ill bump into you as our mutual friend is hmm whats the word....away... but if i see you in the ends, Ill be sure to halla- must warn you though, if its on a weekday, I look like a ruffian cos the way i see it..they dont pay me enough to look bounz at work so they should 'chill off mate'- lol!! Im ssooooo using that!!

Think something is gwaning this weekend sha... Ill keep you posted... And you berra extend that ticket of yours- And where are these fine boys- maybe im numb to it or not hanging in the right place...I wont lie sha... our mutual friend has bloodie hotties for friends...i mean guy friends but you included...

Oh and i saw your guy! That guilder belly, gold tooth with Kola nut in the gaps...and that was not short- guy is a midget!lol- im playing o!!

Meanwhile, Mr Realph, aka one half of the crackerz klub has one mad video...I am standardly gonna be a part time groupie...of sorts sha... no stuvvs just! Ill run it past him when next he comes to town...

Oh and today, I dont know what my brain was doing sha but I was thinkin bout the dude of old- well they prayed for me at church (no joke) so I will be OK! I just need to not see him for a long time but its not even like that cos I still fink about him...AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Shoot me im a mumu- thats a nice title for a nigerian!!

Back to my life...What has been gwaning? well, Apart from Tin tin tryin some sleepless in Seattle (lol- im playing luv) everything is gravy! Saw one guy wearing timbs the other day and I couldnt help but laugh... chill off mate... ur like 10 years late... and I was gonna mention this a few months ago but some pics of some people who are feeling really decked up now emerged on FB!! KAI- Evolution is good o!! Most of them have grown hips sha...(KC boys eh?? Too much beans-lol!!) But I suspect Mr Slater was in one of those which case, all i can say is this...HAHAHAHA- Scarecrows!!Darn!! I was a cute babe- Yes, I had the anty gimmie cake dress but I wore it well!And I ALWAYS got cake...-
Kai, its funny what a few years can do (some people are still evolving sha...not mentioning any names sha...)

Happy anniversary Miss P!!Wishing you many more years in your relationship!

Sorry this blog is not coherent but you should be used to this after how many entries...

Want to go into consultancy - thats another blog entry...

Love you like gari! Happy sunday!

Saturday, 26 July 2008

This is a rambling post so dont bother reading if you dont want to hear serious dust!

Shebi shebi we on fire...kini big just dey wind am well,im the biggest boss that you seen thus far... yebariba swaggga swagga eeeeenn, Gongo aso....lori le o di' beh.. le le le le le le....

Sorry just got back from a party...Have you ever had one of those days where you hate the world? ok not haate but everything is getting on your freaking nerves- your friends are completely messed up and you want to do an overhaul of the system and tell people to fuck off- but you cant...cos you are just not that type of person...

I am very much passive agressive but of recent, certain events have led me to become psycho biach and i dont particularly like it but human being are just effed...

My friends are all annoying me or have all annoyed me in one way or another recently. I am like argh!! leave me alone... I think i need to get away from peeps- I notice that noone really gets me and maybe thats a sign- that i shouldnt really try and 'get' anyone...

i just want to curl up and cry... you can pick your friends but you cant pick your family... seems like i have picked a right bunch of annoying it cos I am annoying? HEll freaking NO! i dunno actually!

My friend is having problems with her man, so she goes to her ex for attention- i dont know how that makes sense sha...the person is your ex for a reason...i suppose thats why i am me and you are...ummm YOU!

I go and chill at your...but how much do i trust you and how real is it? hmmm- i dunno!!

I think i have very high expectations of my friends-and rightly so- i am VINDI for crying out loud!! my parents didnt raise no fool- I was brought up to set high standards for myself and the people around me! When they fuck up, I get mad! like i cant even stand to have your number on my phone cos i want to break it... I am not anal- i am just set in my ways...-lol!

One of my ex friends (she doesnt know it yet) ex boyfriend is a bit of a catch...but because she messed up the guy soooo much, I dont even want to do referral for him- im not saying he needs a referral...anyone that knows him will know that but after my ex friend messed him up- he probably wont admit it but I know the truth... he fell for her in 2nd year and was just waiting for her dickhead of an ex ex to ouddie... so this guy chilled for 2 years only for the babe to mess him up!! Guy got fried mehn!
This is the only exception where i feel the guy has every right to curse abuse and use women... cos that is messed up!!

another potential ex friend of mine (if she doesnt do something which i think she is going to do...- argh!! I just want to scream- but instead- tears- dont worry Im not crying... I stopped crying a long time ago- i just tired of all that sweaty water... boring!!! I want to laugh!! like real laughter...where i want to cry...

Well, I am going to be happy again...just you wait and see- i need to make a new set of friends...

slater, im off to mail Tininu o!! This is gonna be weird...

So Went to a parry today- was bounz sha...who am i lying to ? the only bounz thing was errr...ME! and my gorgeous 'friends'- i need some real people in my life jor...

men will continue to irritate me what if she is 'just' your girlfriend... go fucking home bruv! I just dont get it...why all these game...

aAnyhow, this parrrttty- chosps babes, guys- usual runz...- soo tired of the 9ja circle...It kills me sometimes... You see two people talking and ur like 'oh shit... I know him/her...crap'

Like today, at this parry- saw my friends ex (friend is a mumu for leaving the guy sha...suppose she was too scared of something sensible and responsible- not something she is used! whatever, im a bitch...shes a mumu! It happens...) anyhow, i see my friends ex...have to be polite...was actually quite a catch...( her ex before the ex was a scarecrow of sorts- and rude and had NO social skills...I mean Ajegunle social skills...horrific stuvs! so i said wassup and then i saw this babe i knew- this one is a i am a babe and i am like...beyonce aint got nothing on her...o fine mehn!!anyhow...when i say wassup to her, my friends ex gives the 'ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh stiiiiiiiiiittttt' look like 'how do they know eachother?' and im thinking.... 'YEah baby, lemme get some gist...' but if the two of them are getting together good for them...i want my ex friend to see how majorly she missed road...she ws looking for fan ice...and she came back with ragolis...anyhow, this is me...

I dont know how to sort out this friendship thing- maybe i should migrate to Norway! or Australia jor- just want to get rid of old ties and people... they are killing me...slowly... So what do you suggest i do with the irritating people in my life? anyhow, i must dash...the bed calleth...

Monday, 21 July 2008

Rndaom Thoughts

Bonjour mis amis (crap village fwench i welcome you with)

How body? My body dey fresh as the morning sun reminds me of that Van Hunt song 'precious as the morning sun'! what a bad first year song... reminds me of my room in 1st year at uni...memories...dont ask me why i was listening to baby making song in my room- alone- nothing sordid jor- its just the only time i can get a bit emotional and really think before people start looking at me just cos they thing that i have evolved to have emotions...

I have been on the path of confusion of recent.

I realised that I am in many ways a chicken...not in the 'kpaaa kpaaaa' kind of way but the courageous kind of way- I have never bitten the bullet- im too scared my teeth will crack from the metal...

Well im working and im happy with my job...God is amazing and i need to look to him...

I have realised a few things about myself these last few weeks well hopefully, im still anon so here goes...

* i get mad at people and i let it all rip (not fart) but i get sooo mad! like i want to slap them so hard they curl up in a ball and think about their life...

*I find it very easy to push people away...when i say away..i dont mean stop talking to me o- this one na the one where I dey make someone think of emigrating to anoda country o! somewhere like Mongolia... or Laos!

* Im not sure if i have evolved into this very good rude,sarcastic person who doesnt care about what people think about her...the way i see it, people will always talk and will want to talk about you so might as well just ignore everyone.

* Every guy that has tried the treacherous road to Vindis heart has been burnt by either the nonchalance or the sarcasm... and thats in small doses...
Now, i am in no way regretting this cos in the end they end up having flaws of some everythign maps out...but i just think, if i wasnt so...errr...'vindi like' would anything remotely fruitful have developed from these 'things'? well that is what i keep asking myself... but in the platonic sense...

*I have realised that I am damaged- through no fault of my own...i mean a part of me wants to blame myself cos i could easily have not gone to sit on his lap but i cant help but almost break down and cry... so after i was hmm how do i say it without sounding like it didnt affect me cos it is soo faaaking evident it has...well i suppose the longer i hide it, the worse it get...but what am i supposed to do? there isnt a 'oh i was touched up when i was young and this is how you deal with it' so I suppose ill just have to learn...innit!

*i have come to reaise that the only people i trust after the incident is my dad and my bro- and both of them are solid character...ok my bro likes babes...cos he too is fine..(runs in the fam...we get it from God...dont hate)

*anyhow, i sorta understand myself well enough now to know who and what God is going to provide for me( i was gonna say who i want but you dont usually get what you want but what God wants for you...which is ALWAYS better!!!)

*So now i realise that I dont really trust guys...i will pretend for only so long...up until the 'intimate' stage...which is when i zone out and act like amnesia soemhow grabbed me by the neck and shook alll the neutron or whatever out of me!

* Its quite straightforward as to why i dont trust them really...You might be saying 'well vubdi, you gott agive em a chance...' err i did, and they blew it... yes, they are not all the same but if you have been burnt by a flame... thats not the first place you would consider going back to right?

* Its not like ive gone all le-le on y'all- Slater is e-proof of that- lol...dont find babes shoes, accessories...long... men just wear a shirt, avec corduroy pants and a mad pair of Salvatore Ferragamo shoes and we are good to go...if they want, they can throw in a cravat if they are feeling funky fresh and all but im even starting to see that whole, boujie look as a bit dated sef...

*lol, naija guys...kai...they are serial cloners mehn!!!
This is the list so far of the major fads... from when i was say 15...dont wanna go too far back cos we will be talking bout action man and all that...
so, there were:
-Timbs...kai, you dudes rocked them die!! I remember seeing one do some martix stuvvs and change from wheat to black sef! Really wearing in the shoe... some dudes still rock theirs sha...i dont knock!! who am i lying to??? kai...because i had a pair(yes had, threw them away cos they were far too heavy to take anywhere...all that posing for what? its like carrying a bag of gari on each wonder goiz never used to run...and now you all have acquired that slow walk from those shoes...crippling youselves cos of fashion... babes cannot talks sha...i have seen women whose 5 toes are kissing the ground... the whole point of shoes is that your feet (toes included) are to be inside the shoe...the peep toe is not for your four/five toes to pertrude out and scare people jor...

sorry, had to rant...
-the next was the converses...actually, dont know which came first...the converse or the RL shirts... for the sake of avoiding an argument, ill say Cons...
-Kai- one dude used to feel with his cons...and they were only £30!!! AZZZINNN!! Relax mehn..its not that serious! Got mine in the sale...those things had been out since...and now peeps were clocking on like it was the new LV mehn...relax...

- then there was a phase women would flock for DKNY for real?? i didnt get the hype sha... but i still grabbed me one...

-then there was our friend...REALPH! lol- big ups cracker club!! Realph Lauren stole our money o!! I remeber when it was just the plain polo shirt...i dont know how many of the guys wearing a polo shirt actually knew how to ride a horse (no dirty jokes please) but yeah... that was MAD... I see a few here and there (especially in that kilburn side mehn) kai...

oh but the killer was when every 9ja guy thught they were bobby Valentino in 'Slow down' with that rainbow used to make me dizzy o!! Thats how one woh woh of a dude would be trying to halla and all i would be looking at was the dizzy coloured lines... those people tried...£70 for a don dey craze right? i mean, im not saying you should shop in Matalan but that kind of stuvvs is not necessary...

-0 then there was Von Dutch- Who remember that? The belt was sometimes ABA made but kai...naija guys tried o!! I remember one 'dude' sef... think it was the second or third time i has seen him (before he started eating for two- the guy done sumo on us mehn)
* memories mehn...Von Dutch...
-then there was vans...they slowly replace cons in the £30 shoes...i was thinking...errr where have you been...since college, all them Emo oyinbo kinds have been rocking them... but anyhow, so thats the story so far...

- with Naija babes, well everyone seems to be a budding fashion designer...Im not knocking it sha...Ives seen some good ones...I remember something at strawberry moons... cant remember what exactly but i remember thinking 'BOUNZZ BOUNZXZZ BOUNZZZZ'- those people tried mehn... I wonder where they are now...cant even remember the name but that fashion party was talked about for at least 2 months and you know naija parties... its like the C11 bus, when one has gone , you know another one is coming! lol!

* but the new crazy, Ed Hardy abi Harvey...i dont even send withfsahion these days... vintage...momsis wardrobe mehn...all the way...its cheap and fact its free sef!!

* I forgot to add the Gucci monogram shoes phase...not really a phase sha...just for the few dudes... EFFIZZAAYYYY!!!- pointless concept really- difficlut to clean and to environemtnally friendly cos once they were dirty, that was it really so you had to dump them and buy a new pair...

Well this is me. So far...The scared missy stuck in this big city with people who have BIG dreams for her but she doesnt have a clue...I think that was the best thing someone said to me...its the truth... im Worryingly scared of getting married...What if i am disappointed?? like, after all my 20 or so years waiting...for nothing...I can be a christian and say well God has a bigger plan but i am human...I pray God gives me strength... This is probably my biggest dilemma at the mo!

Wel, have to go...need to put on a brave face for the world...Fearless, assertive, sexy vindi here i come...

Saturday, 28 June 2008

There is hope

* Met someone- interesting...So there is hope for 9Ja guys! We thank God!!he is not in any way typical 9ja sturvings! I suppose thats where ive been getting it all wrong- A deep thinker, cute and quite popular sadly (through no fault of his own) but I will overlook the popularity thing...

* Not at all razz... Ive never had a convo with a razzo sha...Before they start im usually like 'Sorry, are you lost...? Do you need to find your way to the underground?'

*I dont really send these days...Every party I have been to in the last few weeks has been RANDOM... Mr SS, I wasnt there either... I just heard about it...heard one of my ex friends was there and I knew it was going to be a juvi kinda thing and I was not meant to be there!

*Last 3 'events' i went to were soooooooooo random...I refer to it as an event cos it was 'eventful'!and i really didnt parrryy!

*The first one was a barbecue...the goiz were pleasant, serving us rice(no, there were no extra spices...i watched them serve thats all)...really well mannered...but their game was not on point... think they might need to drop off by Mr Slaters old blog entries....

*I'm not mad at tin tin for saying im worth £20,000- mumu! When Im earning almost twice that after tax with my new job(another blog sha...) really is not your fault... but anyhow, £20,000-£40,000?? you are really not serious...Im not one to put a value on my life cos that is lame but if i had to, compute this, shit face - a Bugatti Veyron, plus a Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead coupe, a Ferrari F612 Scaglietti and BMW M3! Dont test me and my cars... Im a big car fan... When you can get back to me on a value, ill talk to you

*Tin tin, its all love...Just had to get that off my chest.I dont expect you to be able to gage the level of bounzness over a few blogs... but £20000?! You may as well have traded me in for a Ford Fiesta!! Better still a Renault R5!!

* Mr Slater, I have vexed for you finish! Dont know where youve been or your excuse. If its not school, its a babe- shes probably worth it sooo just give it a shot!! Look at me giving advise...need to take a bit of my own sef...

*LOL at going to the search continues: profile is as follows
-Relatively popular
- Living in Canada
-Probably schooled in Jand
-North West Londres Moves
- aged 21-25
-Funny (dont get excited jor...)

Not doing bad am I?- lol!Looks like you have a stalker on your hands...

So that Means you know Miss P...or have at least 100 mutual friends...

*Mr Sherfield (stalker...) hows the project coming along?? you still think I dont know you eh? lol!

*and dont hate on A-hall peeps...Its not your fault...hehehe- What school did you go to sef? Govt secondary school abi? dont worry,noone is perfect! lol!!- adesoye peeps are a fruit bowl sha...some good, some bad, some butters!!! Swagger is not OTT like the lagos schools but its there and its real (backed up by a bit of popsis money)- some people who shall remain nameless...Shady Lady tried to hook a sister up with one and well, dude couldnt step up to the challenge!

*I did an analysis of my life (yeah, Im in that reflective mode)...I have a lot of good friends. Probably cos I know that im bound to be disappointed on the way... which leads me to another point...maybe i need more than one guy...cos according to my hypothesis...they will disappoint... SO i need 2 or more abi??...dont knock it!! I doubt i have the heart to be that cruel and selfish!!

k, of recent, been having 'ideas' but that will can go to hengish's blog if you want that type of blog entry...
lemme give yall an idea sha...

lol!- im just playing o! or am i ;-)

anyhooooo... having a bit of a random week sha...think God is showing me that there is hope and all the ones that i see at these parties are really NOT for me... dont think ill be doing the church hopping thing now... might just chill cos there seems to be an influx of koko that i dont think its wise that i start looking when they are looking for me!!

* one of my good friends...not close cos i dont really tell him much...hes always telling me about babes and whatnot but the few times i tell him about a guy, he always like, uh okay!! but anyhow, saw him last week and the guy has really buffed up sha... when i saw him i was like 'WORD??' with the biggest smile on my face...but i dont see him like that again mehn!! we have passed that stage of him being a potential...i push far too many buttons of his and i am too much for him...

*He was looking at me one kind...didnt appreciate it...Im NOT his babe, nor one of his possessions!but cos its love, and i know he was scoping babes, its cool- i was doing the same...

*friends always make jokes about me and dude but i dont think so!! I know what buttons to push! And i do it well- he asked me what i thought of him...didnt go to well- he dropped the phone on me!lol!

* Yeah, this is the second time i have been called this... 'too much'...IN WHAT BLOODY SENSE!??? I dont think im too much...Im in no way a diva! ok, i lie...i like to dramatise things but its all for fun sha...

* Went to one parry last week and one dude i went to school with was there. i am familar with his babe...shame im not close enough to EXPOSE the dude about his toasting...NOT ME O!!! he would have been slapped from here to Nasarawa!

anyhow, summer is let the fun begin!

Hope yall are well...

some gist for this week is coming sha... along with a few confessions

Sunday, 22 June 2008

Just a quickie-

hi people,

This post is in bullet points cos i think it will get my message across as opposed to the novel style entries i usually put up!

*Im tired of people!! like really! they just dey vex me too much!

*I saw a few pics of one dude back in the day...kai! i thought i was going to die!! it was sooo funny- The guy looked like ET's twin!hahahahaha- It shocks me that they werent bullied!

* A-Hall peeps invented effizi! yes, i have said it- swagger is on point- minus the 'well known' girls and boys of the school, who are very cheap versions of 'effizi' in my opinion, the average a-hall dude is DECKED- in the clothing sense not in the koko sense! And they have more gentlemanly mannerisms!

*KC boys are really razz! Yeah, shoot me- thats if you can find me! The first line for every sentence is 'dizzz guy mehn' 'u forking bastad'!lol! i have met ENOUGH of them to know- and yes- they must have eaten too much beans in school cos their asses are FAT!! but its cool with me cos ' butts and i cannot lie, KC boys just cannot hide it- and they are by far the least gentlemanly! maybe its cos they are used to playing with eachother so they dont really know how to treat a woman!lol" i know im gonna get in trouble...

*ISL people are the most chilled out and most reserved people- but they are bright sparks! I always manage to have thoroughly engaging convos with them and they are just so chilled! no effizi, just brains and a good few spoons of humour! Again, very gentlemanly!

*QC babes- hmmm - need to be careful!- i know there are a fair few here on blogger but how do i say this....? i dont give a flying piece of horse dung! Well for the most part, they are ok. in small doses! I remember when my friend told me her housegirl went to QC! lol! but anyhow, its all good! They are ok, but they too tend to be a bit rough with the man dem-hahah- i suppose its all that frustration and all that estrogen AND NOT ENOUGH TESTOSTERONE!lol!

*please dont vex...Im just playing nau...

but if i ended up marrying a 9ja guy, he would def not have gone to KC!

*Im scared of seeing someone- dont know if they are worth the risk!Im a highly risk averse individual and avoid anything that involves exposure- in the emotional sense! What to do?

*Like really frightened... i just clam up- alcohol doesnt work anymore so ive stopped drinking... i know- my liver and i are bestos now!

* Mr Sherfield has been deported *sob sob*- immigration has taken my stalker! Hope you managed to go to the ball- i had a blast!

*one of my friends is pissing me off- it happens weekly now

*Who went to envy!? I thought it was ok sha...nothing big! just the same people wearing the same slutty clothes and others looking rather demure!

*One babe started gisting with me for a reason i cannot explain but i swear she was a Le Le cos she was really holding my hand and looking into my eyes like one darren brown or something!

*met a cute guys sha...but how short is short- if they are like 4 inches!! i wonder who will be carrying who over the threshold...

*birthday is coming up and im like sshhhiiitttee- i need to get my skates on this marriage thing before all the good ones go!! its like the harrods sale sha- fisrt come...ill start doing the church 'networking' rounds as of 3 weeks before my! so look out for be in a church near you!

Well gorra go...


Sunday, 8 June 2008

my 50th Birthday!!Night of the KOKO part deux

Its my 50th Birthday!! WWHOOP WHOOP- have a bottle of vintage Moet champagne on me- ok not on me but you grab sha!!

So this night of the koko right- It was rather interesting-

I have been a bit of a social butterfly of recent...of course I have seen the usual social moths (We all know them- the usual suspects- the ones that you want to wack with your newspaper cos they always want to be in the limelight...hence the term social moth- and the arent too attractive either but thats another blog altogether)

So I went out last weekend expecting nothing really- just to go out and have a laugh-

I was looking remember seeing 'A'- this dude that likes to bone way too much- good thing hes got rid of the stunners- not that he looks any better but that stunners thing was a safety hazard invented by ghetto people- trust ghetto peeps to come up with something that daft...that being said, I still sang the song...

So the parry...

Did the naomi catwalk into the building- well my version anyway so you can expect less casualties (you know babe is rather brutal and uses anything as a weapon)- So i walked through now got one drink- this led to two and that went the night- but one thing about me when i shack is that i maintain! Its not about being caught staggering out of a club (those 1st year days are well over mehn)...
So I met someone but its rather usual- no girlfriend, no ashewo eyes, nothing like that...

Well basically, Ola tried to hook me up with Kola but Vindi didnt like the whole moves so she got a bit uncomfortable and got a little shy and forgot about it... meanwhile, a few months later, Vindi was in the clurb and now Ola has another know the rest...

I was 'told off' (whatever) cos I didnt seem to interested!- That pissed me off cos what the heck was I supposed to do? Roll over and straddle him??? Sorry but I am not some ghetto ass chick yeah... and also, I am not that forward so if dude really was interested, HE could have made more of an effort mehn...

I fogot how pizzed off I was when I heard that! How interested is interested? Some people just want an easy ride and I am the last person to give a dude that- especially the touts that are rife in our society today...allow it men! On a real though...Im far too bounz to be angry about it- but I hate it when people have misunderstood me! It winds me up- moving on.......

And now in my 'emotional life'- hehehehehehehe- I find it funny cos Im not very emotional but of recent people have just been disappointing me and I just think 'Sod you'- so I have started crying as a hobby- not really- Things are just getting to me sha... You know when you start thinking 'whats the point?' yeah, thats where im at- I cannot be bothered with some of my friends cos I think they are acting like ashewos- the other ones take me for granted... Like the reliable one that will take poo- I am naturally one to go the extra mile for my firends- thats just how I am...I get it from my mom but where now I realise that certian friends wont do the same, i am starting to cut them off... I was even on the bus today (266 if you really want to know)and i thought to myself. if i had kids, which one of my friends would i leave them with? and thats how i deduced my true looks like my phone book will be getting freer- more room for the toasters right!

Oh and how could I forget the gari song- this is off the top of my head- its a remix of noone like you by psquare-

Gari eh eh eh eh eh, Gari eh eh eh eh eh x2
noone like you-one like you...
Ijebu, how I love you,

It is still work in progress-lol!! Miss P- its not just you that should stick to the books abi?
Miss P- so how far witht hat shirt sef ehn?ill email my addy for you ok?I know ur in the states but im sure if and when you come over to Jand we can meet at the 02 centre- im sure you know where that is- even people in nige who have never been to Jand know where it is!

Anyhow, I have been seeking God on a few things and getting married is one of them (I know right- babes are really getting old)... Its not that i desperately want to get married- I know i am going to but I want God to mould me( I said God not the hubby- take note people) i was saying, I want God to mould me so that I am prepared and perfect for my husband...- Cos i can be stubborn, dismissive, brutal and annoyingly sarcastic so I need to tame the beast...

Like before I would think to myself, 'am I ready for the whole relationship lark'? and the honest truth is that Im not- I dont want to rush into anything like many of my peers have and have ended up doing- Ive never been a friend of peer pressure! I wont lie and say I have not been tempted but I have never been tempted on the horizontal sha...

So, I think Im finally ready but there is only one problem, Who do i give the first chance to? I am seeking God for that too. Since I was in my early teens, I made a conscious effort to not befriend bounz guys- bounz girl+bounz guy= potential fireworks! I suppose its out of respect for my future partner- I dont think I have lost out cos I know some babes who just like to befriend guys for their ego (one of my friends who will remain nameless) only for the guy to now start toasting or misyarning...allow it mehn-

I have always been the voice of reason for my friends...not anymore- they should look to God jor- I dont know how God does it sha- people constantly disappointing and knowing that God's Son died for us- i am included in the people who constantly disappoint but I dont want to...-

I have waited this long so whats a few more months?(was gonna say years but mehn, clock dey tick fast o)...

So this is one of my rather dryer posts sha- ma binu- im having one of those weeks, you know-

And as it has become custom these days, a note to Mr SS- You are persistent sha!! crikey! We will see... I swear, if you are one juvi first year, i will drag you from Bessemer through queens lawn to the lib where i will flog you righteously! Remember JS1? That was a doddle compared to the excruciating pain you will go through! lol!im playing -

Tintin- you want to know how bounz i am also abi? lol! dont worry- summer is here and there are parties and bbqs gallore to go to- is it neasden, hendon, Edware, Dollis Hill,Movida and what not...dont worry- like i said, keep your eyes peeled like orange skin...

So, odabo my peeps- luv you like home cooked food!ciao

Sunday, 1 June 2008

The night of koko!

So I ventured out of my abode yesterday to see what was going on in the real world!

WOW!! The toasters have really missed for realzzz... I have not been toasted like that in my life... then again- i was looking stupidly bounz... myself cannot put it to words but sheeet- We thank God... I dont know how or why but everything was on point- as usual!!

I miss y'all!! Mr sherfield- show yourself!! Need to go.. this is probably my shortest post ever but ill go into detail about the toasters soonest...


Thursday, 15 May 2008

I was tagged but ive forgotten the rules- sue me

So I was tagged by Mr Casanova of the moment- tininu... Teeennk you very munnnsh!!

before i forget, thanks for the comments last week...felt motivated to go on- Sherfield stalker- I see you!

I cannot for the life of me remember much of it and i cannot be bothered to go and start sifting through his essay style blogs- allow!! I leave the essays for academia!

Anyhow, if y'all are not member of the crackers club on FB yall need to be... for gerrit- these dudes smoke gari all day every day (or for the moment rice krispies)- I dont think they are nutters per se... Hit me up when you are famous oputu/beej/dbanj/REEEaaaalph

Anyhow, back to being tagged. I was gonna write an essay about being tagged and what it meant and how it affected me but i thought i dont want to bore you into a coma...

anyhow, 6 quirky things about me- Lawd- this is gonna be boring- If i wrote about gari but that is bait!

DISCLAIMER**i am not, I repeat NOT quirky- kini quirky sef? weird but cool abi wetin?

I dont think these are quirky but these are stuvvs that makes me different
so here goes-
1) I love the following on goiz- suede russell and bromley shoes- take your pic navy blue or brown- you can have the leather ones so long as its got the tassels- BRRAP!! teww mad! that was one- the others are a goiz with a heptagon face(7 sides- not 8- dont want him to look like a ball of eba! and not 4 cos thats boring- not three cos that is deformed! what else? clean finger nails, a car( preferred but by no means essential) black like dudu oshun and a smile that would make sensodyne pronamel proud!- I dont think its quirky, i am just very particular- please dont start pulling these fashion moves- it is only for the serious people who actually GET mens fashion!
But i hate guys with really grand cars at this tender age- effizi is soooo passe!!- when we are rolling in it and collecting mad douche from corporate stuvvs or are self made people then yes but for now? it shows you dont know the value of money which is why babes follow you like flies to shit homie!

2) I am a sarcastic little minx! Stone yourself if you dont undertand my sarcasm- its not my fault you were born with 2 brain cells.I just like being sarcastic- i get it from both my parents who are just great! I remember one time when momsi said 'well done' to me after i swept the kitchen floor- i thought she was being sarcastic cos thats what she says when we have done something a little too retarded for her liking!! but that day, kai- that 10 year old brain was KONFUSED MEN!!
They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit- but you that person was a BILLY NO MATES!- I wont go as far as to say it makes the world go round cos ill have my physics comrades to answer to but it really does lighten the mood- ie some guy chats you up and youre like 'yah. because that was funny!' and then you start laughing cos you kept a straingt face for so long!!- Sarcasm is majorly quirky!

3) I have issues with goiz- especially ones with those thick 1980s NHS glasses with the off creme/caramel lens and frame(actually, the one that tried to get into the promised land cos I was ouddie wore glasses- Saw his skank ass with his girlfriend feeling like one oga- more like ogre but anyhow...- dickhead- for want of a better word...on wards and definately upwards...

4) I used to be very timid, coy, shy, easily embarrouszzed!! -EVERYTHING- i still am depending on my mood...- i only really feel comfortable when im at home whiling out to queens 'another one bites the dust' or some SNAP! Ive got the power-
I think big gestures are nice but not for me- i start sweating, and breathing heavily (sorta like when youre having withdrawl symptoms of puff puff and suya!)
I cannot bear the thought of being the centre of attention like that- its not in my nature at all

5) I analyze EVERYTHING- from why someone put the plate 1 meter from the sink to why someone gave me a complement in front of someone else...Its not that I dont trust people its cos i really try and understand people- i suppose thats why i know my friends- but funnily enough, my friends dont have the first clue about me- like for realzz- I sometimes do a quick gesture analysis when i first meet someone

I have exceptional game for a babe- When i say GAME i mean GAME- not the whole fronting stuvvs- It follows on from the analysing thing really- I use the information gathered to construct a generic profile for that category of species- i.e. 9ja men from festac, 9ja guys from Ikoyi,9ja guys from Kaduna, 9ja guys from Port Harcourt... 9ja men with two tone crocodile shoes(GAY!!)- leave that stuvvs to Koffi Olamides crew men!That is not our portion...

This week we should keep hengish in our thoughts as she follows the STRAIGHT AND NARROW!! Koko is a NONO!!
Tininu- there is freedom in forgiveness- Please allow the 9ja babes that do 0800-koko-runz-(calls charged at premium rate-£2.50 per minute for the first 2 minutes and £5 there after)-

MISS PEARSE REFUSES TO UPDATE- When i start throwing bones from the goat meat pepper soup then you will know...

So a week til the end of the koko drought- wat to do- get the hurr done?hmmmm, get a pedicure...hmmm- find some exotic jungle fever stuvvs like tininu? tempting but those ones dont know how to shower with proper go slow traffic sponge and they are too hairy- hair in their nose, hair in their ear, hair on their surprised they dont have hair in their palm!!! and dem dey say its us wey look like monkey- they musta discovered everything but a mirror when they made up that theory!!

SO to bed i go- ALONE HENGISH- no human beings, no electronics, notinzzz...

and so to bed...

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

3 weeks til the end of the koko drought!!

So i decided to go to brent cross today because i really needed to get some sort of fasheen fix and i came home with nothing!!I sorta got over HIM this weekend- some of my mates at church sat me down, picked my brains til I was orange and then decided I was sane enough to contribute to the dilemmas going on in other peoples lives!!

So i went to brent cross- sitting on the 189(yeah, sue me- not the most glam of ways to enter BX but last i checked, money did not grow on the pear tree in the garden, nor in the rosemary bush...) -Before I forget, i found narrings so i have decided to make my own clothes!! instead of looking for a fasheen fix...why not make your own fasheen fix and if it cocks up- itll be more fun!!

Anyho, so Im over HIM right? Yes I AM!!So I am on the bus minding my own business and then this 9ja woman brings out the this day style me with my elongated eyes stare like a mofo- Who do i bloody see in the mag though...only the guys bloody sister!Dont ask...long story but it was his sister...I was like over that...

Then in brent cross now..trying to buy some shoes in russell and bromley for this wedding this saturday( trying to ease the pressures of the koko drought) and there was another reminder- the guys brother in law(to be) Its good i know faces but sometimes it just doesnt help me...

Anyhow, I realised this weekend that the koko drought has been self inflicted!!I have closed my eyes and therefore have not seen- now my eyes are open and I am like okkkaaayyyy!!

So there is this dude- i dont find him attractive and I really dont fancy him- my friends from around the way(not my jammo ones sha) are like hes my type- but what the heck is my type?? anyhow, i see what they mean...he actually is my type- minus the fact that he didnt go to uni and he does not work in the city!!AARRRGGHH- i always planned on marrying an investment wanker( most of them are so this is my new title for them- that being said, most of my friends are so i better hush)

so I see both his sister and his future brother in law(if and when he proposes to her) in brent cross and i dont trip cos usually i would be like 'shiii iiiittttt' what if i see him?? least im looking good but what if i see him???NOOOO this is not happenning to me!!' that is usually the thought process i have when it comes to him- but we are over that now...

I remember in the summer when i saw 2 of his friends in south london(dont ask me what i was doing there) as soon as i saw them, i got a migrane- no joke- if that isnt a sign that the guy is bad news i dont know what i understand the good girls and bad boys theory

2 things i need to tell you about before i forget...
- I am over him- My friend told me about how its my subconscious only wanting him cos i cant have him as he has a girlfriend!!and it all boils down to intimacy...that is another entry altogether my frennn

-The second one is that I had a dream about this guy- the one i said i dont like- and i dont like him- for many reasons-
He is London boy- we will call him Sunny- if you guess his name ill give you a 1kg bag of Ijebu gari-and you know the stuvvs dont come cheap!!
He is perfect height, dark, nice legs,ok muscles and very very very sexy swagger but I just dont find him attractive...
HE IS JAMMO!!!NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What am i gonna doooo???

So i had a dream about him and in the dream all he said was 'Vindi come with me...or something like that...and in the dream i remember thinking 'aww, i feel sooo warm and googly inside(not in that way Hengish-WELCOMMZZ BAC BTW) and how I liked the fact that he was assertive and domineering- Im one of those people that finds it easy to dominate if given the opportunity otherwise I get very VERY SHY( yes Mr Sherfield- you were right) but its not obvious!

So that was the dream and now im thinking 'i still dont like him' we all went out yesterday and I asked hm a question only to be blanked- RUDE- i suppose he didnt hear me cos i went into VSM-vindi shy mode-

my main point is that- I dont fancy him why cant I just like single, hot, men- nigerian men that i am attracted to...I dont even know him- we have several mutual friends but i dont even want to go there...

So the plan is to not get ahead of myself- just cos i had a dream about him does not mean anything- koko drought playing tricks on a girls mind!!mean- as hengish said 'the devil is a liar-say no!'

two songs for you for the next few days...when you hear this think of me...

Computer love by zap and roger- if you know about this YOU ARE ON A SERIOUS MUSIC TING

Ace of base- I saw the sign and all that she wants

The weather is tooo mad at the mo...have to urge to get naked!not really-

So...any luck with using those gari sayings?lolz


Friday, 2 May 2008

Apple bottom jeans, boots with the furr...I have neither cos my ass can fit perfectly well into Gap jeans & Im not razz to commit such a FURR PAS-lol

HIIII EVERYONE!!! Tis I, QUEEN VINDI- abeg, who dash?? Its vindi'gyal!hahaha- im d'vindi!!that was razz I know...not the best way to start...

Id like to say a few thank yous for a few people who have made my week that little bit more garilicious!- sue me im razz
Undressed polaroid has won for the number of blog entries you can have in one week- not only is the gist sweet, but its also we shall name undressed 'articulately sweet'... Shes been on the circuit longer than I have and i was gonna be really clever and throw as many adjectives at her as i could but if i summed it up as BOUNZ you would get what i mean so ill stick to bounz...I have not had the time to go through the archive of entries but they are very nice-
Thanks for inspiring me to follow the long and skinny path- size zero before summer o! or as near as i can get!

and de hoda pesin I would like to do(yes, do) vott of tens for is uncle broda tininu!!Oga, from de top of de himperial library- i salute you...not once, not twice, not even tree times...but a whole 4 times-

Seeing as yall loved my gari for thought so much (no, im not biggin myself up) I thought I would give you guys something to do- as some of y'all are in the library and odas jus dey collect douche(via correct means o-none of that google runz o)

Anyhow, I want you guys to see how many times you can write, say, mime, think of the following statements:
*thats just the way the gari crumbles
*Gari for thought
*Please, for the love of gari...(continue sentence)

If you manage to get more sayings involving gari, please dont hesitate to add o!! you know we can never have too much gari ehn!!

People stink on the train!! err man!!- see how my chanel allure just disappeared into stinky thin air!!lol!! And why do I always have to be next to the fat guy!! i dont mind fat babes-not in the non platonic sense but as friends...shitteee im diggin myself a hole....moving on- my point is that mammoth like babes are cleaner than mommoth like males-

And what is up with halitosis??!!Awon curry people didnt brush his teeth and now ran on the train and was breathing inside my body- i felt sooo dirty-all that stale naan bread and chick peas and pilau rice!! its like some people baff in madras and moisturise in a freakin tikka masala!! but then again when you head down to abbey wood sides( sorry guys but i gotta say this- AND DONT ASK ME WHAT I WAS DOING IN SOUTH EAST LONDON-LONGEST OF STORIES...but you know me...ill tell you in good time) anyhow... when you get to Abeey Wood, kai...take your pick...what do you want to smell- efo riro, or is it burukutu,ogogoro, egusi, dried okro, fresh okro, cray fish(me, i dont know WHERE exactly the smell is coming from but i know WHO it is coming from)!!

Oh, im an idiot by the way- i know i never say this but i really am a (mu)2!! i went to go and do something stupid on facebook...WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GIRL!!!??
Miss Pearse(didnt think i have forgotten you right?) you said the koko drought would start to ease when summer started to come...well its more or less summer in jand(you know what the weather is like in this country...summer is but a week(if that even)!!

anyhow, the stupid thing i did was add HIM on facebook... you know when God tells you to forgerrit and you because what if just doesnt do it, you send yourslf to facebook and start doing sillyness... Im SOOOOO unbelieveable mad with myself... I think i deserve a royal stoning of common sense and logic!!I used to be indestructible now im just vindi wishing what if... oh whatever...lemme actually give you the story of how i ended up adding him...
So i went onto facebook and i told myself to face my demons- shebi its God that created the devil and we as children of God should not be afraid of anything on this earth apart from God... anyhow... following a funny week with my friends disappointing me i thought, hes not that bad. least i know hes a conniving cheat with sexy eyes- what is the harm? after toying with the idea of adding him... I did it...not a big deal for you, but for me...I nearly died-like for reals...I wanted to rip my heart out, flog it and leave it somewhere in darfur to dry up cos men- anything is better than the feeling of losing!! OH LORD forgive me!

Then I said, im not gonna look at his pictures...that only lasted a day...then i thought 'yea, wallever...i wont even fancy him again' thats how the buffness bit me in my ass- i still cant sit down...

moving on...well, ill tell you this...i will not be writing on his wall and i WILL NOT I REPEAT NOT be writing him a blog entry length message on facebook-I PRAy


Anyhow, this is for you hengish... i saw this guy and i thought of someone who is sadly quite familiar- but the one we 'know' is the darfur striken version of the guy below- harsh?perhaps...

the next blog is dedicated to all of us who learnt how to dance in the 90's!! get ready for some ace of base, snap, culture beat and corona(not the beer nor the school) so get ready to shake your nyash(like tintin was doing when she saw Mr wahala drama and kissed him)!! Ys, i was a late developer...was born in the 80s but learned to dance in the 90's- when i say dance i mean, JAM!!

guys this is a quick one sorry but its exam time...who has time to be reading other peoples blogs like their degree depends on it(minus me of course!)

so guys before i go, i need help with a few things- you see how people have people on their blog roll right?? well vindi is bush (what kind of blog entry is this? ive never hurled so mush abuse at myself in one blog) I dont know how to add people so i have to now be clicking and clicking... computer are not for me...and that thing where you do that think where you like a word to a website...oh goodness...see how im exposing my bushness!! kish! I am finished!! i know slater you are gonna rain abuse on me so i have my pagoda shaped umbrella ready for you!! (i cant link it so ur gonna have to google it sha if you dont know what a pagoda shaped umbrella is)

So peoples... for the next session vith vindi(get your head out of the derry marina warrer) get your feet ready...we are gonna be doing some danzing o! Im talking about the 'aunty spray me' dancing o!! so make sure you have enough space in your room to to the cabbage and hammer time and the bogul, and the butterfly(not the one on one leg or is it knee sef?)

k ma peoples... until then i leave you with this...

and you are a G(yes i said it, G!! if you know the lyrics to this jam...

hint.. 'work the body, work work the body, slow down gurl you bout to hurt somebody'- me and my sister still jam like 7 year olds in the living room when shes at home!!

enjoy and do not mock!!big willy styllleee!!that sounds soooooo worng on soooo many levels(ok just one level but its sha nasty!!)

adios amigo...

Wednesday, 23 April 2008

everyone has left me

so my girl Hengish has left de building... I actually feel a tad sad...why you gonna up and leave me nau... how you gona act like that...
and slater... you keep walking in and outta my life... its not!! dont mind babes- lack of sleep abi wetin...i dunno to be honest but i need to shill...

Tin tin, i dey o!! im just dere chillin... mr dont want to finish this year or something... abeg my fren concentrate on your books joh...ill still be blogging when you firrish ezams!!

So whats been gwaning in b-town??minus people being sucked away by the Youth corp(NO names mentioned here HENGISH! I will miss the both of you sha... random jokes and trips... and slater J, i hope you find your Iyawo- and she better be bounzer than me...ok, thats impossible... she better be fine sha....

so whats been gwaning with me(sorry guys, dont mind me. ihave been linkin up with my jammo friends of old) dont worry sha..i wont get all d'banj on you...they will continue to call me Vindi and not vindi'gyal!lol!!that would be jokes though...

K, i have gone on a blitz on my phone just screening calls and everything...babes need their space now... i cant take it any more... human beings just disappoint you constantly... and then you come home for peace and quiet and its like im fighting another battle...there have been numerous times when i have thought... eff it!! lemme just break down so peeps can see that babes are hurting but to be honest... it wont change them so ill keep the tears for something more serious...

oh and i saw(not met) this 9ja dude who was in jand but moved to Yankee sides and now came back... peeps used to go on that the guy was fine but cos your babe is onto bounzer things, i thought allow this dude... one milki half baked looking stuvvs and im just more on the espresso tip you get me!!chocolate thunder and all dat men...

Gosh, juvi runs has killed it... gist spread that juvi runs was gonna ask me out on vals day... i said WORD??? SINZZZEE WHEN?? i was laffing...eyy yaaa... spoke to him today sha and he was now telling me 'i have a lot of things planned for you this summer' i said 'who?? this guy... you know aunty is very busy nau...' i was thinking to myself..this is not someone i can imagine myself being with!AT ALL!! as in i just cant- hes one of those 9ja 9ja boys brought up in inner city london with awon 'get me...innit dudes..' i was looking for the refined romantic you know?? someone who would make rice for me... rub my back and all that... hes very nice but i think id mother him too much... i do it now... i dont want to break it to the dude so ill start screening his calls as well o!! i dont need a stalker men... that is not bounz!!

I miss the days when your friends didnt bitch about you... girls like to chat too much... CLOSE YOU BIG FREAKING MOUTH YOU MOUSSE!!why do women talk so much.?? just bitching up and down the place... and i love the way human beings have expectations and try to take the piss because they know you are a very understanding person... there is taking the piss and then there is shitting in someones compound!! that is straight up showing no regard for that person...
If you know someone would not treat you in this way, why do you treat them in that way??

gari for thought!!!

My song at this moment in time is:

'your mother may let you down, you friends may let you donw but Jesus never fails....Jesus never fails, Jesus never fails, Jesus never fail...Jesus never fails...'

As you may be able to tell, im kind of mad and im a very subdued person when im mad... i get soo calm my icecream doesnt melt... my breath makes ice blocks!!

ok guys... Omo Vindi need sleep o!! O-da-boh!!

Friday, 4 April 2008


Ok, as much as im not the biggest fan of D'Banj and his no long ting-
hehehe- just thought of a joke...
***i must warn you, ive got a lot on my plate at the mo so this may not be the funniest thing in the world but its one of 'my' jokes so please allow...

so heres the scene...
D'banj is in bed after just gbenshing one babe(which i hope he doesnt do cos doing stuvvs out of wedlock is a nono) he asks the babe
' so how was my anakonda(dut dudu dudu)?'
the babe politely smiled, looked down and said
'it was no long ting'!!lol!! talking of D'banj, i came across not sure if im allowed to do this but the shit is on Youtube and so im assuming its allowed now....
here it is...

i nearly died when i saw this... for real...some people just have that talent of making people laff!!big ups to this guy- hes gonna be big!!i only knew this chap for a while but damn- had i known he was this much jokes, i wouldnt have lost contact-nice nigerian lad! file, im d'banj!!slater, you may know this chap...

this is another one that made me break the chair at home when i fell off it- im not fat- just big boned-lol!! not really, im far from it!! that chair was on its last legs anyway and was a health hazard since one lef became a bit wobbly...

So basically, this entry is about the koko drought...well its not a koko drought as such cos guys are giving me wahala. this is one guy to me 'abeg vindi, what this your long tins about sef? i already agreed that we dont have to do the stuvvs...why are you keeping goiz wairing'- i was like thinking in my head ' its not a case of we dont have to do the stuvvs..its more a case of WE ARE NOT GOING TO DO THE STUVVS'- mumu!! its all about attention to detail- tin tin, im adding that as a skill in my own CV-

I dont know what it is, the ones in the city think they are too nice cos the work for Goldman, JPM,MorganS, Hsbc, or whatever.... puh lease, allow the snobbish attitude...and the ones in uni have babes(yes, i found out that my dear Mufasa of LSE has a babe! such is life eh? even saw him at the LSE lib the other day (dont ask me what i was doing friend dragged me...i couldnt say no with the possibility of seeing awon fine stuvvs)ok not all of them but the ones im feeling sha...moving on...

So im looking for the one, Le uno, my black knight, the one with the more ripples than an ocean, more wit than steven fry(y'all need to know about this chap- he is top notch british stuvvs- sadly he is gay but when he sees me he will be converted)

I dont want to be wasting my time chilling and going out with one guy who im not totally feeling just cos of the marriage bug thats going abound at the mo!! im bigger than that!! also, i bumped into someone from my past yesterday or today,or the day before sef- i cant remember now but after i saw him, my heart jumped and i thought,'blooming heck, i aint had that feeling in a while' the one that makes you sit up a little and just feel like acting like an intellectual goon! but anyhow, im waiting for the one that brings out that intellectual goon in me so that i can act a fool and make intelligent convo!!

When i say act a fool, i mean it- i really dont send sometimes- one time i acted like a baboon in the 02 centre- ok i was about 17 then but at that age, everyone used to go there wearing make up and wearing their maddest baffs- me, i was always looking on point( i was raised the hovis way, what can i say) so lookin bounz didnt even come easy- it was and still is the only default setting i have( to God be the glory)

Anyhow, so i need help from my blog community, how to land so serious intelligent koko!! please, im not talking of quick stuvvs o- i just need to holler on FB to some of my toasters if thats what im after- i want someone who is refreshing, clean shaven and wears suede loafers and chinos,
Someone who someday would go halfs on buying me manolos,
someone that can act a proper fool and doesnt care
someone that knows how to comb their nappy hair

(I said half cos relationships are partnerships and seeing as he is not getting gonna be getting stuvvs in return, theres no need to make him pay for it all- at the end, shebi its gonna be on my feet!!

Ive started with my nonsense poem writing again...
sorry but my entries are done on the spur of the moment, no time to edit and save and do spelling and shelling check!!anyhows, i am de number one grenade sheller!

Everyone seems to be ok on blogger tho... have a fab off to investigate a lead i have on this chap i know who is a friend of a friends brother...we will see...hes not fine or anything but we are now looking deeper for the joker as opposed to the knobhead....

Wednesday, 19 March 2008

it cut deep

it cut deep when you didnt call
it cut deep When you undermined my intelligence
it cut deep because you didnt want to understand
it cut deep when you constantly tried to provoke me
it cut deep When you tried to intimidate me
it cut deep when you told her and not me
it cut deep when you held her and not me
it cut deep When you lied
it cut deep When I lied
it cut deep because i wanted to trust you

After all my feelings of resentment for them,

when you died Jesus, the only thing that cut deep was the sword on your side.

happy easter everyone

Im trying to become a poet!! not so good- but this is my first nau- so allow babes!!
but yeah, all my friends keep talking of marriage- for goodness sake we just left uni and now you want to get married? chick allow- have you heard of MORGAGE?? damn!! take it easy- im wayyyy too fresh to be looking for my husband! he will find me when he is good and ready. im not going to look for him and then find him with another woman! abeg jo. some people need to seriosly chillax, take a chill pill( prescribed o), breathe stretch shake, let it go, let go of the 'lady of the rings' syndrome! its just not bounz o! Im still fresh to def so imma be on my grind- not like an ashi babe but you grab sha!! need someone to sew me something- i just had the maddest design in my head!! any volunteers?

oh yeah, Slater- think 'Ash Tomazzzz' still no bells ringing!?
heglish! na wa for you o!! please dont bring back a variant strain of the marriage virus o!please, im dying here as it is!

Thursday, 6 March 2008

are you a gladiator?

Anyhow, so a fair amount has gone on since i came here- some i cannot blog about cos its a bit too personal but is all good and i dont wanna blow my cover- you get me!!!ok, i didnt get married or anything!

Talking of marriage, I think ive been hit by the marriage bug- i started listening to Van Hunt and other gay songs! im looking at guys thinking 'hes alright, wonder what hed look like in about 40 years'- some people age better than others...

The KOKO Drought as i mentioned in my previous blog is still in full effect- but today when i was at baker street, one dude walked past me and his aftershave just made me wanna barf!so the koko drought seems to be selective as to who im drawn to- which means that my subconscious is telling me that there is no need to be desperado because there is no koko famine!!yay!!- but true say(sorry, the London girl in me just popped out ot say 'HI')...anyhow, as i was saying before i was rudely interrupted by myself, true say all the guys that i have been smelling- tall and dwarf- have been rather bounz...

So my mission for everyone this week is this...can you gage how good looking a guy is by the way he smells- lets try this ladies- i know for me a guy would know i was hot stuvvs- ok maybe not yesterday when i ran out of the house without putting on deodorant but that aside...Id be rather hot-

so ladies, the task this weekend is to SMELL FOR HOTNESS.. if you do have any results, success or failure, let me know- and remember- NO PEEKING!! dont look before you smell- its like potentially gone off jollof rice which you have been dying to eat and you know allowance doesnt drop til next week!!

I think i had trapped wind on monday!but im not sure- i did my first fart in the office tho- i know that is skank but i refuse to die because of methane!-vulgar? i know!
So Ive decided to see HIM again!!But i know that i have a better outlook to the whole situation- im not mad anymore that i allowed him to waste my time( cos thats what happens when you welcome someone into your life who is already with someone) but my saving grace has been God's protection over me- lie lie, there were numerous times when i could have pounced on the guy but because i am so stubborn and have A LOT of self control i just allowed it- i didnt even kiss him!!yes i know, i deserve a pat on the back...

slater j, Im currently discussing with my agents in the field as to who you are- i will find out who you are Mr GQ!!

And my butter cup of IC has ouddied to nige!!thank you very mush missy- ya know who you are!! stop wearing gele and come back here to cash cold with us!

Ok, so i met someone a few weekends back, it was in a club so i just ignored the guy sha-
So heres Vindi, up in the club- may i just add that my legs are soo dry that they are itching me!!KAI!!
so back to vindi in the club!!there i was, looking too crazy- honestly, i will not lie to you- i was looking amazing- but to God be the glory- So i come in, looking majorly lost as i came in by myself so i was looking for a bunch of 9ja people- y'all know how hard it is to look for dudu peeps in a club- it like looking for a needle in a haystack- ok im just playing- im not exactly one with yellow paw paw skin but anyho, i found one of my as i see her, i notice this rather familiar manly structure next to her- and im like 'i swear if it is HIM i will die- no, actually, ill leave the club and carry myself on the jubilee line back to swiss cottage!!' i walk hesitantly towards what can only be described as a structure and i look closer and realise that IT WASNT HIM!!!YAY!! But this one is still fine-
Seeing as i was chilling with the more refined, centered,'i dont need to be jumping on chairs to pop champagne to get attention'...that kinda crowd- it was funny cos you would think that the group i was with would be boring but far from it!!!they were happy cool peeps who wanted to go out and have a laugh!!

ok so the guy was cool, he spoke good english( which these days is rare- dont act like you dont know- we all know one mumu or another that drives a stupidly expensive car but cannot rub two sentences together)

Anyhow, so I think Ill end up marrying a 9ja-man...nothing wrong with it but I thought God had something better planned for me!!only joking- truth is thats probably the only type of guy ill respect on this planet as my pops is one!!

So, my plan when i see HIM....DON NOTHING!!- im at the point in my life where i can say that 'he tried his luck and we thank God that I did not succumb' -
I will not even tell you what i had a dream about!! i wanted to shit on myself!!no lie- ok lie- sue me! I had a dream that his current ex was in my house or something and yarning me saying 'you could have been "THE ONE"! my goodness!! imagine if you had that dream- all i said is the devil is a liar and thats is the end of that story...

i need to get a new hobby- like honestly, Food is over rated, so ive stoppe eating- size zero by fore by force...

And my feet smell cos I wear my sneakers(yeah, im american) without socks so with all that bacteria, its bound to smell like the marina!

Oh my days, My lecturer told me today that he wants to recommend me to one of his colleagues at another uni to do a PhD!!a freaking PhD!????what a collection im gonna have when i finish my Post grad!!aargh!!First i get ma certificate from University of London, then, my diploma thingy from imperial and now a PhD???And it is one university that i have never heard of before...i had to ask my lecturer if it was in this country- this is me 'are you sure its not Cornell?'- lol!!the guy (can you imagine im call ing my one and only lecturer 'de guy') anyhow, after this masters in september, im supposed to be shipped of to one university i have never heard of to become an assistant researcher person or another!somebarry wan kill me o!!i dont think my mantle can handle any more trophies!!

sorry this post has basicallly been about me blowing my trumpet and just yarning serious sahara!! im sorry- have work on my mind-

The thing is i had some gist, but i forgot it now- i bet you tomorrow when im on the train ill remember again!!

til next time

Saturday, 9 February 2008

My one and only imperial

this is one of those imperial events that will go down in history!!it was too mad!!

I am currently trying to put a few words for the coordinators- Teeeeeeewwwww FREAKIN MAHHHDDDD!!- see hot guys coming out of my ears- and no razz ones o!!!im too happy right about now- got a few numbers- you know how vindi rolls- Its all about- 'oh my days,my phone is playing up... hav you got the time' 'oh, did yousee that act?that was amazing/dreadful'-take your pick...good work ACS- im so proud to be part of such a mad uni!!im doing ma masters but i feel so alive with the peeps at this uni!!Hengish, where were you?im sure you were one of the babes beefing me- eeezzzokay!!not really- you know i gats soo mush luv for you...

I have got my official first crush- in my adult life that is!!woah- and its one of ours Hengish!!not an Imp but one from across the way- it is sooooooooo true that birds of a feather flock together- saw a beauty at the ACS thing today- as soon as i enter the zone, na so every fine boy now starts scoping babes- eeezzz not ma fault!the joke is that i was not even showing anything- not an inch of leg and not a crust of breast!but dudes were still looking and tryna haller- found out who the dude is, what uni he goes to and all that- but now i need the following
age: im not too fussy but over 23 and im ok.
Sex: not right now. when we are married- im not that type of babe
Location: i dont mind where we live so long as we are together- i sound like a psycho!!lol!!jokes!!- location- just off Bishops avenue would be ok!

so should i tell you his name?naw...Hengish, im almost certain you know the dude- some fine hot stuvvings- he was on stage doing the 'humbo zamezi'thing with the babe that was singing 'i wok had every day..' big guy!!i dont usually do yellow guys(ibo for that matter- its not like a tribalist ting i just happen to fall flat on my face in lust with yourba guys)!!physique-wise, he looked like he could take on a lion- talking of lions, he had this Mufasa look to him- maybe it was the beard stuvvings but it took me back to the lion king- It was cuuuurrraaazzzyyyy!!i was all giddy inside like a mumu- our mutual friend was not around but i was gonna act like my hair got caught onto his velcro so we could start talking but i thought that was a bit much you know!- im a bit crazy sometimes!!but i got his attention so my work was done- As i walked up the stairs, felling like one caliente stuvvings, talking on the phone like im one social butterfly(me, miss billy no mates), he is at the top of the stairs with a camera- i was like damn!!anyhow, i caught him give me the thrice over and i turned round only for the guy to now get all shy- i dont know why guys get all shy and intimidated when a bounz babe now does the 'confronting mating stare' as i like to call it!!- its that stare that says, 'Talk to me, if you dare' in that sultry kinda voice!!

but anyhow, i was told to start poking on FB- and i for one would not recommend that to anyone- i juust think its too impersonal- if you tap them and are now like 'were you in Volar at xmas' guaranteed youll get a better convo that pokin the life out of one another- and face to face flirting is waayyyyyy more fun!!you actually get to touch skin to skin and do the 'beyonce hair flick' hoping one of you pick and drop out doesnt do a meanie and drop out!!

oh and im having a major problem at the moment!!like all of a sudden i got mad when i smell mens perfume!!as in my eyes light up- i think im suffering from 'KOKO DROUGHT'!!!this one nah serious o!!im scared to hug men these days cos i might just pounce on them... but if anyone can guess who this pesin hins den i will dash you one blog that i have been saving!!
So if yall can assist in operation FBI i would be very happy!

happy sunday!!hope yall went to church

Tuesday, 29 January 2008


FBI- Face book Investigations

So i yarned about this dude that was scoping me at the airport on the way to nige right?...anyhow, when i was in my element of joblessness i did some FBI sturves- in both senses of the word- i was loooking through people who i like to class as social humming birds profile and pictures and stumbled across his pic!!sheeet- Hengish...hes very near you o-some ibo sturves like this- refined sturves sef... its not imperial but its part of UofL!!now i can stalk the mofo!!not really- now, its all about tactics- i know the mutual fren but ill let Vindi the female warrior make an appearance. so i jus gorra wait for a parry to drop and voila!!im bettin 8/10 hell be at the Pulse thing sef so ill be looking extra bounz(not like i dont anyway)...
k, lemme stop messin about- i will not stalk him-no matter how fine and modelesque he looks!!he is one of those one youll be like 'Ayy bay bay...ay baybay'!!anyhow this is one of my many strategies for the next few weeks-im not looking fwd to vals day- AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!ill probably be blogging about the importance of being single!lol...being the saddo that i am!!i will refrain from FB that day.
anyhowz...this was a quickie just to let youknow about my movements...
wait sef, i forgot to mention that the dude is a juvi!whoops, musta slipped my mind while i was trippin over the guys physique!I wouldnt mind giving him a medical!

Monday, 28 January 2008

Onwards and UPWARDS

Todays song is by M people- moving on up, moving on up, dun dun dun dun dhun...moving on up moving on up...dun dun dun dun dun...cos im moving on up...nothing can stop me...

Does anyone remember ace of base- they were TEEWWWW MAAAAADD!!'all that she wants is another babay, shes gone tomaw but all that she wants is another baybay...dun nun dun nun nun!!!I used to go wild over the funky beats men!!!yall need to youtube that sturrvs!and snaps ive got the power!!

Sorry about the last post- I didnt realize how extensive my french vocabulary was!!whn i say french i mean swearing o)!i truly apologise.I have gotten over the whole situation sha so dont worry, I wont be throwing 'bad wods' at you via your screen...

Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement!!much appreciated- rinsola was first so i gotta give her props, Hengish who has prodded me along to blog blog blog!!i like that youve kept to your side of the deal but I am trying to keep up with you...your own one arm thing is sad- that nurse!well we thank God you have both hands to write your blog!keep it up. The paradigm- nicely put!and honeywell pls dont sue o!i just dey forget like fish!!hope there is no copyright infringement o!!i cannot afford de lawyers!ma binu o!
solomonsydelle- Its not Jazz o!!Im just cool like that...if you hang about long enough it might rub off on you... 30+- tanz for cominz by sorry about my french! and my american star...yes you miss pearse- I will try and have a sense of humour about things next time. yoshi baby and Anu boy- once again tenzz tenzz!!I cant believe none of you thought of a way to get him back!!!wow!!y'all come from good homes o!I was expecting to get some mad revenge tips but all i got was people telling me I should forgerrit and fashi the guy! thanks God will bless you this week!As a christian we should forgive seventy seven times seventy seven abi(aint read the Bible in a while men-) but anyho, ill use this as minus one!

fineboy just came outta the wilderness of the real world and all its wahala!Tens very musshh!The gist is that Fineboy is getting married ooo which is why he has not blogged!!

lol!!dont mind me- im just a little stirrer!Soz fineboy but you been out cold for a hot mirrit!But what is the story?id like to have your opinion on the whole fineboi MIA thing...I bet you he found love!well thats what im gonna spread!

Sorry guys but this entry is going to be a bit dry- im going to bed now but id thought id write something before someone opens my nyash again!

Meanwhile, I dont even like Mr A anymore- as in at all... I thank God o!!Cos there was a point that i thought my life was over if i didnt see or speak to him again- Thank the Good Lord for common sense! so by some bad decision making via my brain i decided that I was a grown adult and could allow all his attempts to runz me...but as soon as i added him on FB i changed my mind- the crazy psycho woman that I am decided that he was a complete dimwit(i really tried not to swear) and i should not associate myself with such scum!! I decided that he was a loser and even though he added me as a friend, i would not go to his profile...

This lasted for 3 days- men curiosity got the better of me-then i thought lemme just see the guys pics now...kini?I wont die now!It doesnt matter if hes fine or feelings start rushing back via the comuter screen...ill just remove him from my friends before i am tempted to write in his inbox(the wall is such a lame way of telling people you have a social life)

anyhow, i got to his pics and im THIS what i was tripping about??
in my head all that burst out in one ghetto ass americana type of accent is 'dang gurl!!he aint nuthin'!!i was soo confused!!was this the same one that was giving me sleepless nights?the same one that i tried to figure out- the same one i used to trip like a MUUUUMMMMMMMUUUUUUUUUUUU for? ahhh ahhh- i was upset cos Arinze was waaay finer!!

I have come to the conclusion that it was jazz cos the dude is aight but what i was tripping for is another thing altogether and he is actually friends with the one i abused the life out of in the last entry! but anyho, I just thought id blog and let the world know that vindi has moved on!!finally! I suppose i was expecting goosebumps and all but narrings- I was even a bit embarrassed!!i looked at myself in the mirror and then i looked at him and thought 'YEE!!As in, Im finer than him o'!!ok not leaps and bounds but enough sha!!

The guy did me greazy sha but im waaaaaaaayyyyy to fly for all that- Hengish, Im coming for that pulse thing o so im expecting VIP runz o!!I wast all your chem eng, pipeline eng, petro chem engineers who work in the oil and gas market o!- i want them fine o!!no woh-wohs of my girls is on the ACS so Im going to give her moral support!I just hope people i dont want to see arent there(i don bastardise hinglish o-double negative makes a positive)- we all have those people you would rather projectile vomit at than say wassup to and be giving pretentious 2 kisses like we are french when our passport is GREEN!!!
So hengish, if you dey for ACS event sha holler so i can organise sturves for you nau- i dont want the dude to be hanging round me cos he will try and spoil my runs and telling people that im pregnant for his kid and all that...(the guys fineness is intimidating- even i have to up my game that day-need to look for shoes to wear sha!

so onwards and upwards- I need to find a real christian man- babes are getting older now- yes i know, ive been gobbled up by the green eyed marriage monster- sue me!!i dont want to be a spinster!! Im just starting early cos i know what im like and it takes me a while to warm up to people!!
Hengish, sorry this one is dry but im sooo tired!!!

Anyhow, if anyone knows that dude that was at Bond street station last week with this bounz navy sailor outer coat lookin fresh to def- holler!!like for reals- some maaaddd Blair Underwood crossed with omar epps, dark chocolate thunder, sweet black cherry kinda sturves-!!i almost missed my step on the escalators!!he sha got on the jubilee line going towards Wembley park so haller!If the shops werent closing, i woulda stalked his ass men-ok- its not that bad!!well must go and finish facebooking and then sleep like a baby!!