Monday, 21 May 2007

Randomation...not an interesting post

so, ppl. whats the deally. exams are round the corner and i is blogging!!i need to get serious. After this blog, ill be MIA til the 3rd!!i need to men!!-First class dont come eazy!!
anyho, today, went shopping with my imaginary money!!NEed to call pops for douche men!!-i aint broke or nothing but i need some stuvvs to buffer me up during the parry season- you get me!!-Courvorsier and Dom Perignon rose dont come cheap you know- I aint the type of chick that allows guys to buy them drinks at the bar cos at the end of it, what if the guy cant afford you?that would be mucho embarrouzzing!!-
k as you can tell, this blog is random banter about the not so important things that are going on in my oooo soooo not interesting life!!On the other front, i got me some shoes!!ok, im making it sound like a big deal like i dont have shoes but these are bounz!!!as in......they are from office and i cant wait to rock em!!Ive got a mad shoe fetish!!as in i love mens shoes!!i can tell a man by his shoes!!no, really!!all them 9ja boys that went to buy the classic chuck taylors-i know who you are-think nowadays they do the whole vans and all that but they should just leave that to me!!i been collectin Vans since i was a wee toddler!!-k not really- started about a year ago but dont tell anyone cos they'll think im not cool anymore!!lol!!

on another note, ive finally written all my revision notes and so its about major jacking!!Its time to thank God!!As in really, he is good, wonderful and merciful!!


K, someones uncle is charrin to me in the uni compurra harea!!warris gohin hon!!Peeps should allow me!!WHY!!!its not fair, cant you disturb someone else!!-yes and again today in town, one uncle Titus Babatunde went and smiled at me- Mr 3 ft 7 emerges again but with a different face!!gosh!!LEAVE ME ALONE!!this time i laff it off cos the geezer is just smiling like i just told him he was going to heaven!!

I need a new purse!!gosh this tattered leather Dior one is sooo finished!!ive had it for 3 or so years and it has really suffered!!-its quite big-some of my frineds call it a portfolio but i dont care cos when i bought it, i thought-correction, i knew i was bounz stuvvidelingos!!ah ahhhhh!!i really felt like one hot mama!!any opportunity to bring it out, see me carry my head and my wallet (which some people argue have the same dimensions) to the student shop just to buy Ribena!!-yes im still a kid!!Ribena rocks tho-as in i really dunno why they dont sell it in clubs!!i was sooo happy when my cousin introduced me to Zobbo(cant spell)!!It made my trip to nige manageable-sippin on some malibu laced zobbo and pineapple- im not an alchie-i just like cocktails!!
Anyho, back the the situation- i need a wallet!!the problem is if i spend money on a wallet, i wont have money to put in it!!-so whats a lady to do?The wallet i want is about £300- its not my fault that only Oscar De la Renta makes brown and olive ostrich leather purses with gold trimmings!!-gosh the thought of that bag!!!-Anyone willing to donate???-never mind- looks like its daddy dearest once again!!-i cant believe it!!-im graduating and i still get money from my parents!!-yes i can hear the abuse now, 'you should be ashamed of yourself VTI'- ok- ill chill on the purse!!ill get some more shoes from Offices vintage range and a pair of pink flamingo vans(either that or the ones with the snakes-but i know momsi will not allow that in the house-shell be telling me about some demonic stuvvs)!!
so pink flamingo vans and some more sexy shoes!!
K ive got a PJ party to attend and i dunno what to wear!!i was thinking.....tracksuit bottoms and a baggy tshirt(with a bra oooo)!!I dunno tho- dont wanna be lookin manish- but the shirt would have the statement 'Have you got the H factor?- Nigeria'-lol!!-do you get it?like X factor but for nige!!k, it wasnt that funny but allow me, my brain has been doin funny stuff of late!!dry jokes men- im only doin the shirt cos the pesin thats havin the parry is the one that 'kissed and over-told'(thanks JB) (see the previous post)- and hes got a mad h factor!!lol!!lmao!!hehehehe-im so mean-so what!!

oooohhhhh...today was just funny!!-k it wasnt really like lmao and piss myself laughing while trying not to cough up my lungs but it was aight!!-theres this one babe (VF chicka to be specific) that goes to ma uni and she was like 'oh, VTI, we are planning a trip to Milan for a day...' 'no thanks.ive been already.' the babe was like 'oh' and then afterwards she continued and i was like 'but anyway, milan is not somewhere you can do in a day...all the shops and Il Duomo..nah'-she just looked at me like 'uh ok.'


i dunno what posessed me- dont know what i was feeling like!!Think i did that cos i just wanted to feel- sometimes the babe likes to do one kind one kind and im not feeling it!!-k the chick is razz and her 9ja accent is tick(thick)!!its like she just came of the boat men!!slurred speech and just that whole slow 9ja-im-a-VF-babe- and shes not even that buff!!k, shes a fine babe but she aint all that to look at me!!One thing i can comment her for is her razzness coupled with her confidence!!-she doesnt kno how razz she is which makes her just tooo funny!!!- i do like her, dont get me wrong but sometimes i feel like she doesnt realise that this is Jand and nobody gives a monkeys about your surname!!-her surname aint even something well known- shed prolly have to go to her remote village before anyone even acknowledges her-but me-ahh ahhhhh see chiks 'flawwwzzzen' in ABJ- from when chicks land at Nnamdi Azikwe- see all the soldiers-back straight-see police escort!!-its not easy i tell you!!-ok slight exaggeration- the soldiers back is straight cos he just saw commander and police escort is for the car in front of me!!-i dont wish to have it tho-draws more attn to me- and i get enough as it is in that tinted clk!!ko eazzzzeee-i know!!i do like bussin effizayyy once in a while tho-just for trips mainly!!

this brings back memories of ABJ.....

i remember once, my sisters tutor(can u imagine, we went on holiday and my popsi put my sister in a private summer tution class-lol-daddy-i luff u mehn) saw us walkin from our cousins house one late evening!!thats how, when we entered (we decided to walk home than get our cuz to pick us up cos we wanted to feel like the normal peeps that didnt have ride for everything)
so we enter our house and then, soon after, someone is banging on the gate(that dense mettalic sound-guy doesnt realise that we have a flipin door bell outside)anyho, thats how the guy now asked the gateman if two bounz babes lived there and all-he didnt even know his pupils name hbut he was now givin the guy our vital stats!!lol!!so the gateman said he should try the other house cos no woman dey dia!!needless to say that as soon as i told popsi, that was the end of my sisters tuition!!- it used to be so bad sometimes that i would have to pick her up cos she didnt want to walk back alone- she get booty and i as big sis must protect her and the big booty!!-

anyho, dunno, im ouddie!
kisses...

Friday, 11 May 2007

when trouble sleep, yanga go wake am...

sorry about the last blog-dunno what i was thinkin!!The guys is plain silly- God fogive me for not handed in my dissertation today!!!!wooo hooo!!!going to town in a bit!!!lookin like a mega tramp- my eyebrows have overgrown out my hair is a hot mess and i had to literally run to drop my diss off!!-i just kept praying to God and men lets just say God is amazing!!in the space of ten minutes, i went to the cash point, took money out, flew to the other side of the university to put money on my print card, then i had to go up a flight of stairs to print my work then go to the print shop to bind it and last of all, do some Lindford christie sprint to my department!!!When God wants to stop time, he will o!!!!as in Matrix kinda runs-
im off to town to buy a dress from Joy-either that or sleep and then go to London!!men ive missed the zones!!-gonna def do some 02 runs men!!its gorra be done innit!!i might even give them luxury meals and drop some nandos- as in funds get as e be men!!spoke to popsi yesterday cos i text my cousin who lives with us that i wanted some shares at first bank so i can start building up my portfolio!!what can i say- daddys girl!!I text my cousin at 3 in the morning!!but that one sha likes to do hardguy in Abuja and hes always out so no biggz!!
So anyho, popsi calls me-and he NEVER calls me cos he'll go on about how i love to chat bare breeze-k not those exact words *imagine daddy saying 'mate, ur chattin bare breeze'lol*
anyho, he did the whole 'I hope youre not broke....my dear VTI, my credit is running low so do take care of yourself'- lol!!this is daddy that has phone credit like 10k every week!!its his problem if he doesnt want to hear my luffly voice!!
k, so the pimping season is here-its looking a tad bit gloomy outside but im happy on the inside (that was gay abi?)
so anyho, just thought id drop a few lines- some gist of course when i go to london!!!i thank God i had time to hand in my dissertation!!wahey- so if you see me in 02, dont be afraid to halla!Im the hench lady with an insurmountable amount of facial hair and dreadlocks for braids and clothes outta camden!!lol!!not really- but you knew that anyways - Flaky, i read your bolg...............-i had to wash my eyes out with Izal men! You are mega freaky- i just went back to my work men!!

Oh dear, found out that one guys chick is on blogger that i USED TO like!!lol!!small blogworld innit?gosh...All this 9ja peeps and the 6 degrees of separation-its mad o!!say for example my class mates older brothers friend went out with my mate from college.and my mate from college later on went out with one geezer that used to work with/for my dad!!-want more?k, my other college friend(no, i had more than two but going to one of the top private schools in the south of england(see how i dropped that-lol-k it wasnt top but nucca aksss about me, nucca axsss about me...'- im teewwwww excited- i feel the urge to cook!!!fancy some egusi with shaki, dried fish and fried gizzard??yea ok then-go make it yourself!!
k, im off to town to but my skandelous dress to wear tomorrow-dunno where im going to but i sha hope its not 02!!lol- flakey, i see ur already waiting for me at the the chinese restaurant

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I DON DIE O!!!!

yes o!!some fucker decided to claim my virginity magically when nothing went down!!k not nothing- GOd knows that i didnt have sex with him or give or receive bodily fluids!!
Big mouth and small penis!9ja boys and their lies!!Before i was sure he would yarn the whole of the world that he ALMOST conquered VTI but this one where hes saying he reached promised land...men...i no grab o!!!that ode!!Hes lucky that i aint got time for his useless rubbish!!so basically he told my friend that I like him!!!-i wrote a blog yday but a slip of the hand and the stuvvs was gone!!i was vex!!It had some babalawo type cusses but all ill say is this- the guy has raping potential and I wish that noone does to any of his kids what he did to me!!
Its cos Im too mannered!!the fucker!-k im sorry for swearing but this one really got to me- this is the retarded h factor unilag reject, bastard child of CROSS BREED MUTANT RAT!!K SORRY God but i had to let that one out-
My motivation is now Psalm 37 vs 7 to 11!!I just hope the guy has asked for Gods forgiveness for lying (and trying to lie with-no pun intended)his property!!you know who you are and if you are by chance reading this-God forgive you cos Im not sure if i want to!!Fair enough if stuvvs happened and then ur tellin peeps warrever, thats my own fault but this one where ur tellin peeps about VTI's promised land and all that-which chicks aint even seen kon sef is MADNESS and then to top it off ur telling my friend-MY OWN FRIEND THAT I LIKE UR SKANK ASS!??as in mate, ur smokin some sturvvs- get off your high horse you twat face and go pick the pimples off your face!!can you imagine what he told my friend when she wanted to correct him on a few stuff???-he said that I was fronting!!L-O freakin L!!!since when was ghetto blasting niggaz a sign of fronting!!??I dont like you you goat!!bloody rapist-stupid rat!should i get a shirt that says 'twat face *&^%$, i dont like ur skank ass.simon cowell has the x factor but you have the H factor'??geeez!!!!lol!!!slimy rat!!!fewwlish morafrukah!!!ode!!Ok God, sorry.but hes makin me a bit angry- not a little bit!!a lot!!
bearing in mind this haoppened well over a year ago!!as in stop holding on to old glory- its like going on about england winning the world cup in 1966!!jo as in, derry geezer, gerrout of the system!!
If he wants to lie against my name hes got another thing comin men!!my surname especially!!the fire of God will find him and either transform him or destroy him!!

k back to the revision- hope every1 is ok!!Freedom in forgiveness abi!!as in why did he have to lie about my V card stuvvs!??ehn???thats just below the belt- to say i like you is flippin laughable- you know the laughable that you roll on the floor and start crying and ten all of a sudden need to pee real bad??thats how funny it is!!May God have mercy on you cos you are a meance to society. hope all is well and all peeps-
good luck in your exams-might psot something this weekend but i cannot promise o!!
must mention flaky for her mad blog about stew!!it was sooo funny!!i remember doing it once but ive never done it since cos that was evil and madness rolled up in one men!!Ex hubby(dunno if were die-vorced), im seriously feelin the lib runz-i even tried me somma that the other day but i did it avec the whole Damsel in Distress!!im lovin it lovin it lovin it!!im loving it like this!!ciao!Peace up ajegunle town down men!!Olla men!!

Thursday, 3 May 2007

yo yo yo...shek eeigh rout-razzelina in the hizzouse!!!

SOMETIMES IN LIFE, OUR RETARDED FRIENDS DECIDE TO PISS US OFF WITH STUPID ASS BLOODY IRRITATING FOOLISHNESS!!
K SO MY FRIEND PISSSSSSSSSSSSED ME OF-NOT A SMALL THING- MAJORLY....AND IM NOT ONE TO BLOW MY TOP OFF(NOT IN THAT WAY YOU DERRY PEOPLE-GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE MARINA WATER)!!i HARDLY EVER GET MAD BUT IM STRESSED LIKE MY FUTURE HANGS IN THE BALANCE(AND I STILL HAVE TIME TO BLOG) AND ALL PEOPLE WANNA DO IS PISS ME OFF!!-

so back to other stuff-went to the cirry cenrra yesterday-kai- someone stole my jacket from paul smith!!the jacket is tooo mad-the last one as well- k, it was about £190 and the fit was too on point, had one of those couture kinda finishes-im using the word 'couture' lightly for akll you fashion boffins out there cos I know its a patent in France-but welcome to England!

anyhow, this jacket was bounz and they dont have any more- i even went as far as to call the paul smith store in Edinbrugh to find out if it was there!!nah men- Devil ur a liar and i will find the jacked and buy it and not eat for a week!!i am willing to do that!!

So back to some other silly ramblings, i was in the cirry cenrra at a bus stop (i know-VTI at a bus stop- what is the world coming to?-lol)so im there now yammin up some mad ass samosa i bought from the shops- its quite a warm day, im giving them some slouchy lowrise trousers and a bright hoody and am well hot-and hungry for that matter!!so im there chillin and what do i see across the road??can you guess??no its not those ghetto ass pikins pushin pikins stuvvs wearing fake von Dutch or as i like to call it 'Von no Douche' clothes head to toe!some people are really mezzed- all that cheap 'bling'...

yeah, so at the bus stop.starving like marvin earrin my samosa like some size zero model who aint eaten for a hot minute- seee me see trouble- Some random geezer is across the road taking pictures of me eating my life away!!kai!!...
i even made a lil song on the bus on my way back to my yard-
its a remix of that bit of queens bohemian rhapsody that goes
"i see a little silouette o of a manskara cush sara bush will you do the van tango, thunder bolt and lightening, very very frightening...galileo galileo...blah blah blah"
it goes
"i see a man takin piccies across the road, skara bush skara bush, and with a nicon camera... thunda fiya him, cos its very very frighteneing, kile-lei? kile-lei?"

too much time on my hands my dissa is due in a few hours!!

k, and i need to apologise to a particular member of my blog fam- broda Sleighrra, ehn- if u senz some oztiliry hin the commenth of your recent post,-sorry o-i just dey vex cos of exam stress and de fak da e true o- game work well well- i fall for am once- i even see am appen but my art no gree to ouddi that geezer-yes-u hear am fest here- VTI sed sowry- it aint pms- exams stress and the whole war the eck em i gorra do when i graduhate!??-anyho, thats 4 lines jack, back to ma blogarina gisting with some propa hinglish- my pidgeon izz heffed!!i try ha-anyhowz,

I reconciled with one of my old chums- she is actually a nice person even tho she can do stuvvs she sometimes that are effed, i know what shes about now so ive grown to like her with her faults cos God knows that as much as i try and attain perfection, i got faults too!!-did i just say that?Am i maturing?lol- wishful thinking!!

anywho, on the geezer front, i feel like such a perv- theres this one geezer that ive been giving ma free time to(as opposed to revision)- the issue is that the guy is doin his first year and chicks are in their third- i dont need advice-just wanted to blog about it you know- but feekl free to call me a paedo- k, hes like 23 and he is one of those fresh of the boat kyna goiz so its not like hes part of those guys who have been in uni 10 years- don 1st year about a minimum of 5 times and the other five times they managed to get into chichester college to do foundation year- only to fail that and start an online degree programme from a university that doesnt exist!-k im rude- its not like i go to cambridge or oxford but it sha aint Lancaster college of art, media and fake degree!!

k imma go now, boring blog- just had to get the first few lines off my chest- cos i was getting mad!!like really mad- the mad where your mom will just find anything in sight when you feel like you can stand up to her and tell her that you have feelings too!-see Hausa silpas with dunlop tire sole fly across the room!!lol-funny times men!!mommi I love you and I thank God that God chose you to be my mom- youre unintentionally funny, rude(not in a rude way, no need for slipa(slippers) flying), sharp, God fearing, compromising and a mad cook-even though lil sis said my beans was nicer than yours the other day-!!Your husband is very lucky indeed!!
and daddy- the most articulate 9ja man I know- i hope my husband is as tolerant,hardworking,God fearing, mild, funny, sarcastic(thats where i get it from), articulate, and smart as you- and loves kids as much as you do!!-the best dad when ur not working!!an absolute Legend mate!!-spending time with you is a humbling feeling!!-love you both- even though id never say this in person cos id start chokin- i think you two are amazing and I dont know what the WORLD-yes WORLD- would be without you!!-You will forever be a blessing from God!!i love you!!May the blood of Jesus protect and keep you with us to see ALL your granchildren grow into adults!!-I love you!!

didnt realise i could write all that stuff about my parents-well not in that way- thank God for blogging!!
k gorra go now, been chillin for a while now so imma go and do so mad reading
lurff u-
p.s.- does anyone kno where to get gold metallic reebok high tops from??i really wan em!!that and some shoes that are mad-