Monday, 24 August 2009

2 in 1 day- Cry me a river- preferably the river Niger!

Back to friggin square 1!! see my life...and there is this other guy thats chasing me- but im not interested...I want that!

Life mehn, I thought this whole relationship thing was easy- liking someone is just 10% of it, the remaining 90% is a combination of wahala, trips and other random stuvvs...I love it though...the drama that is...

Oh, by the way- between me and you, I have started doesnt happen very often but when I do I break!!

Wow, so I bumped into this guy the other day I went to school with...OMG- I think cos I was such a tramp in school- I used to be such a tom boy...anyhow, the guy saw me and his jaw! He was looking at me like 'Who the heck is this babe'?? then when he saw it was moi his eyes really lit! I laughed- Confirmation babes were looking tew mad! lol! As in, I didnt even tell him to stop drooling! lol! I just laughed at him...bless him sha... guy has always been a little shy...guy couldnt even look at me- lol! I was like 'dude. Im not on the other side of the road o' lol! Jokes...

I have only ever been the fool for one person and I think thats why Im still holding on to him like a bad smell...

K, 2 blog entries in one day- I dont know who is the lucky person- me for still having the opp for writing this (God keeping me safe) or you reading the usual garb of jumbled up ish...anyhow, Nothing has changed...I still am just the biggest idiot for him...whatevvvzzz mehn...You have to fall at one point, why not head first from a bridge 2 miles high eh??

Anyhow, people are telling me to acquire feelings for this guy- my best friend- sort of...He is cool but he is not my cup of gari at allllllllllllllllll... He is too emotional and I am not, he gets annoyed about my blaze attitued, I get annoyed that he takes things personally all the time- We work so well as friends...anything else? Abeg- you will need to have a fire truck, abulanzzzz and a hospital on standby mehn! lol! He is cheap, I am very generous...

Oh, my friends bro is FINE!! And that ish is WRONG- SO WRONG... anyhow, hes a good look sha... different, rude confident but not an idiot...well put together- like my friend in many ways- Cool babe all round...

Oh no, someone just saw me pat the weave at wek! lol! never mind- til tomorrow.

Monday, 13 July 2009

I love his Ego....Such a big ego-


...youre going to kill me if you know what I did- think this might have to be inbox moves...I went where I shouldnt have, felt what I shouldnt and said what I wasnt meant! not dirty talk...this is all emotions...Im really trying to sort this out in my head...trying to really hone in on the feelings and what they mean...

So you remember HIM of old- Older than old of old! Anyhow, I introduced HIM into my life but I dunno- Its not really the same as I am more in control? lol! Question mark is cos I dont know if Im just lying to myself...

Its annoying that he is a cool guy. It really is...

Stupid ass furst crushes... why dont they just dissapear...I mean I dont even know it like a reversion of the mean? I mean, Im not bored- I have enough on my plate to deal with and there is someone I actually like- I suppose its one of those 'im not done' things whereby I just never said what I meant to - its like when you put a tin of baked beans under pressure...and then when it comes down to it you just explode!!

So I said what I should have like a million years ago and now i feel better but a whole lot I dont any resentment towards him- think now I have it more for myself for two reasons-

1)WTF am I doing with someone elses property?? Guilty conscience...I shouldnt like him but I do...but I dont know how I like him- Like at first I wasnt sure if liking him was LIKING him as per like having feelings towards or just as in platonic...but we get on enough for me to know that its probably the latter and Ill be very annoyed if its something else (like having feelings towards...)
2) why do i like him? Im usually the voice of reason. the logical sensible one so I am real mad at myself!

Anyhow, I spoke to him- yessir- I called him (apparantly meaning I want something from him- friendship maybe? but as my dear friend told me, after all this going backward and fwd, you think the guy wants friendship? )- It was no biggie- I call my mates in nige (so I told myslef...) we spoke- It was oddly too easy to talk to him- up until the conversation veered towards emotions...I was lost for words and I never am- I didnt really think about my feelings- what they meant and all cos I didnt have a clue what I was feeling? you understand? probably not...

so as it is- first crush...trying to wean myself off him- If he was an idiot, I suppose it would make it easier- but he is not...I NEVER am doting over guys- I wont lie and say its always the other way round but I dont chase- never have never will- NO! Im not chasing him cos I dont want anything from him- I dont want to have some sort of funny duddy relationship that cannot be defined. I dont even want to do any stuvvs with him- I dont know how I would be able to explain that to God...I already have a lot of explaining to do as it is...I dont want any more to the list...

Haha! Think whats really funny is that he probably thinks I cant help myself with him- but I can- lol! Think I have way more self control than I like to think- Im so good at saying no that im sure some guys think I invented the word!lol...

But really- think I have sussed me out...I love people(guys sha- babes dont really cut it for me-lol0 with egos and swagger but are also educated/enlightened enough to know they arent the only smartie pants in the world...its a very fine line mayte...

but I cant talk about my feelings here anymore- think its about time the world knew what was going on up in herr up in hurr...

Anyhow, this is one of many...I have a record to beat peeps...

Saturday, 14 February 2009

Random bit of info

Okay, anyone who lives in North West london or north london you will know what I am talking about. Okay. I cannot drive let me point this out.

Anyhow, I was being driven to brent Cross-yes driven...and no, not by the big Red limousine called Metroline bus!! A Car- A sexy car aCTUALLY!! Not a DB7, or a 911 or a Mc Laren SLR or a Bugatti...
anyhow, I was ssssssssssssssssoooooooooooooooooooooo distracted by this Mahusive poster of this rugby player in action...not 'in action' in action derry people...I meant catching a rugby ball (a real one- These are not coded yarns...Im not trying to describe a dude wobbly bits gone wrong/mutated)!!


I was sooo distracted. The guy was catching a rugby ball NAKED!!! With his bothy all greased up..It was distracting and I wasnt even driving...I felt sorry for my prudish sister who was trying her hardest to continue to drive...

I have decided to post something as soon as it happens...I was gonna put Blogger on my BB but Mehn- if it gets lost...I might as well be lost!! you get me...
I trust you lot had a fab vals day- Mine was dry but its the last dry one in gonna have in my life...FOREVER!!! Y'all hear me? FOREVER!!!

FOr a second today I thought of all the people I have 'missed road' per, the ones that got away...I didnt want to say it like that cos it makes it sound naff- when you say miss road you picture it like sat nav... 'after 300meters, turn left' in that annoying american accent- dont get me wrong, I totally dig the americana accent...I picked it up a few times while there (Same way I picked up hausa in nige)!! anyhow, The 'miss road' is derived from the grammatically incorrect 'you don miss road' saying often used to abuse someone as opposed to calling them a retard,cretin, heeediat,ode, mumu, ...and the list goes onnnnnnnnnnn!!

what else happened?? oh yeah...Does anyone work with people whose first language is not english...This does not include Yoruba btw... but sometimes it should cos mehn...dropping grenades...naw- im not just gonna diss Youba peep...I love you like Gari- and you know the love is deep mehn!! most languages ae like that o...anyhow, I was speaking to a work colleague who wanted me to organise something for him and h kept saying the client and the CEO of this company were 'playing with my toes' on this!!and when you say that in a thick french accent while grunting and groaning down the cannot expect chicks not to laugh...I wanted to mute the phone and burst into was ryediculous!!


Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Omo you don make me fall in...*cough cough* I cant even say it!! lol!

Oh mah gash dudes- as in, I actually have time to BLOG!! Okay thats cos I have not been starbucksing again!! Those people are thieves!! £3 for a small cup of cocoa- im sure you have heard about our 6inch snow that stopped everything...

Well I had a fab night out this weekend...aside from receiving a very unnecessary message from my mate- I wasnt even pissed off though- Its like this- if you cant be bothered to halla and even say 'btw im alive but I wont be picking up my phone' that is cool... but dont just cut yourself off and then reattach yourself when its okay- Im not asking you to compromise your first class- Not at friggin all!! I'd love for you to get your first class and go out with a bang but the way you just dropped me around exam time was deep-

Not even a word blad!! Allow it mahn!! I dont mean to sound all homo but you dont just pick and drop me when there are trips to be caught!! Im not even that much fun so when you initiate meeting up, dont expect me to be all up on it!! Yes, I do sound like a homo getting all upset- maybe I'm bored...I dunno mehn!!

Anyhow, Whats new??? Oh yeah, I finally remembered the guys name- I dont know how sha but I do now- but he is mates with my mate mentioned aboves brother.

Talking of brothers, is 2009 the year when all the brothers are out and about????

As in, its like there is an obscene amount of talent!! Its sooo bad I dont know where to look- I suppose its time to start building up your portfolio before they start going into hiding again!!

But mehn!!I think I have found the one- like OMG- guy fine pass gari- and you know thats major- I have checked out our mutual friends so ill just have to be working within that!! I sound desperate right??? hahaha!! Its cos I AM!! lol!!- Im playing...Nah, its cos I have not really like someone at first glance like that in a hot minute!!

Can I just ask though, if you farted and you just ate indomie (I know im a lazy sod- but gari was too much to eat this late!) what would it smell like....?? I think my fart smells of indomie but I only just ate it an hour ago...weird and Im sure you really didnt wanna know that!

There is this other one that keeps staring when I dance when Im out- I dont know what it is and it is slightly unnerving- this weekend I saw him and cos we have a mutual friend but werent introduced, it was a bit awkward!! Anyhow, this weekend omo was out...when I say omo I am referring to him and not MR stare-at-vindi! I am not imagining things I tell you...
Anyhow, he was looking so much I lost my rhythm!! lol!! It was BAAAADDDD!!! I was cracking up in my head but it wasnt funny!!

Anyhow, Imma holla!


Saturday, 31 January 2009

Mankolet found...CIA field agents investigating!

Before we get into the gist, I did something random- I added LP on my FB- loike Ohhh moiiii gawwwsshhhh!! yah- so now you can see all my random notes on all the jazz that I have been writing if I aint been on blogger...

Okay- that was my big thing last week as well as crashing into the doors of a commuter train...Ill start typing it now and post it on wed...

With 14 days to go till the big day, the search is on!! There was one I found the other day- lol!! people were talking about the Mankolet drought but I on the other hand have found my friggin oasis!! Okay, I cant remember his name -no, I wasnt drunk! I was just checking goiz and got!! It was one of those 'slow motion' situations!lol!!

Anyhow, Mr IB as I will call him cos I forgot his name- it stands for Investment Banker/Incredibly Beautiful. So, in he came with his clean understated swagger...but he came with a girl- a really lovely girl...I was like skeen- I knew the babe- shes lovely so I didnt bother myself again...but then the babe-lets call her Abi, Abi left to go somewhere with another IB I thought, hey!!

If you have ever been to a 9ja networking event, youll know that there are some pretentious people...but i was shocked last week- people were approachable, friendly and most of all....(drum roll...) really nice!!

So anyhow, as I am who I am, I subtly checked out the swagger, the shoes...everything seemed okay...but there was no way I could just walk over and just be like wassup - Im not that babe...lawl...anyhow, so my friends sister, lets call her Suliat for the sake of!! So Suliat walked up to him and started talking to him- I was like skeen, Ill get the gist from my friend, Jennibaby!!lol!

Anyhow, after my designer fish and chips, I went on the train home...on my way home, I text Suliats sister,my friend, Jennibaby!!lol! I said 'I didnt realised Suliat knew hot mankolets you know- but I wont tell you cos youll just crack my egg open'...anyhow, so she now calls me and is like...

'oh so, do you like him?'

I was like the dude is okay now- nothing major!! Then I had a bit of a BF (bitch fit) lol! I now said
'Why did you go and open my nyash to your sister??'
she was now like 'back the heck down mehn- I didnt tell her- she called me and asked if i was interested in someone there, that there was a mankolet and she wanted to play cupid' - I was like 'are you lying to me?' she said 'no now!!- whats wrong with you??'

anyhow, we ended up having a talk on how I dont get excited by goiz again...I mean I do but I dont at the same time!!
After the last fiasco of 'guy-with-girlfriend-but-pretended-not-to-and-then-made-me-fall-for-him' I told myself I wouldnt get excited or get ahead of myself!
I dont think people realise how risk averse I am of falling for someone, devoting your whole life to someone only to reap disappointment- but I think my friend realised how reluctant I was when she was like 'should I investigate?' and my instant reaction was 'hell-to-the-NOOOOO' - She really let it rip about my 'just say no' policy- telling me that just cos you been burnt cooking doesnt mean you should stop cooking...otherwise youll starve...- lol!! okay she didnt say that- she said something gay and i thought naff off even though it was true!lol!!

What made it worse, was that I got a severe case of butterflies when I saw him- it was like you know when you watch 'extreme makeover' and youre like 'OH MY OGSHHHHHIII'(i think Jenifa would say it like this)...I had my usual 'sheepish grin' on my face...I dont think ive had that for well over a year - ok maybe 2 but im in denial! allow me jor...anyhow, as soon as I got that butterfly nonsense, I was like 'err, butterflies, back the hell off my stomach' ...the goi fine o!!
anyhow, I need to pick up my shoes from the cobbler- going out so i will finish this later- maybe MR IB is!! Maybe not- Ill soo have to find his name and stalk him...its necessary- lol!! Im joking o!!

Wednesday, 7 January 2009


Hahahaha!! That is as far as my youruba goes- that and kini?

hahaha- Happy New year all!! I have been writing notes on FB instead but chicks are bizack!!!!
I have learnt so much Yoruba this year- thanks to 9ice and D'banj! Gongo aso, ma je, and all sorts- Still dont know what they actually mean...I am not yoruba as you can tell!

My lil sis is soo funny- she was singing 'gimme deep drills, gimme deep chills, say me say me we on fire...'- I was like huh?? lol!!

I thought party rider was batty rider for the longest time- until i looked for it on youtube! I was like 'eh hen!!- no wonder people were looking at me!'

I was reading a few peoples blog and realised how far we have!!- 'Together we made it...'

Music wise, I am liking Weezy for some reason- sorry but his old lyrics are wack!! His freestyle lyrics show someone that is full of white stuff- and Im not referring to milk!!

So who went to nige? I didnt! and I dont care so ha!!- obviously someone that is bitter!

I made a dress the other day- lol!! Please before you abuse me- I am no designer nor a budding one- I had an idea and I put it in action- I am not jumping on that fashion designer bandwagon that several 9ja babes have jumped on!! lol!!If I did, it would be called vindilicious- so look out for it homie!

As you can see, random disjointed bits of my life as usual- nothin change!
Lolly P- Where you at gurl!??as per, you've bounced babes from you blog with your purple rope VIP runz!!

And Slater, you're telling me you dont have a story???- anything from the last few months?? Oh, I wont lie, I do miss the one and only hardguy...I remember doing my dissertation and thinking-'lemme just blog quickly' by the time I knew it, it would be 4am and I would have done 1 page on my dissertation!! Have you started driving yet- Im sure you have a story abount picking up chicks or something! hehehe
Also I read in your blog you are salami- but you are muslim!! I thought Salami was pork?

Hengish Khan!- Where are you dude!??? As in, youve just forgotten babes in freezing Jand! minus 10 degrees bruv!That is what you call deep chills...

No man drama for once- no man sef...2008 was really the great famine! Like I dont think I have ever had a famine like this!! It was bbaaaaaaaaddddddddddddddd!! But this year, only a week in- I am committed to getting so Mankoletts!! Yes- that is the new word for the year!!

This is our agenda- Just a nice guy- Is that too much to ask for? Maybe- as I am told that I am a bit of a rude gial when it comes to dudes- but to be honest, why settle? Why am I gonna disturb myself with dudes who I dont feel are up to the challenge?? As in, there are levels now!!

Anyhow, I am alive, And Slater, How am I gonna poke you when we are not even friends? See your head!!

tin tin- I take it uni is a biache? No update no nothing...dont worry-Vindi got your back!

I was gonna add you to my FB cos some of you are more friends than the people I have on FB but then that would expose my identity! I dunno sha...send me your email and Imma look for you...

Happy New Year people- Luv you like friend sweet potato with stew! peace out A town down- Yes- I am razz- sue me!!

Saturday, 27 September 2008

Question time....

1) How old are you?

Older than you think...22 amd 363 days- i think sha...

2) What characteristics would put you off a guy?

*Nasty shoes
*Nasty Breath to go with it
*An ugly face with an arrogant personality
*Yellow boys- that being said, it wont TOTALLY put me off- as life would have it
*Short (i mean below 5:10- my mates understand yyyyyyy)
*No swagger- even if its goofy, they carry it well...
*Does not thing Jesus is a big deal
*does not think I'm a big deal (lol- im playing)
*Someone that is what i call dry
*Eager to the point where its verging on desperado
*H-factor- Sorry mate...hir haint appunin
*Someone who is only about the stuvvs (either subtle or blatant)- this is a complete NO NO!!
*Champagne popping type of personality- they also somehow tend to have the last two also...
*No qualification
*No prospects

I think that completes that for now

3) Taking your personality & physical attributes into consideration what would you rate yourself out of 10 & why?

Ok. Ive never rated this may be a little hard.
*Hmm- so we start off with academia- think ill give myself 1.5 (miss P is one of those people Id give a 2 or 2.5- clever clogs)
*Then character- I think im patient, random and tend to be a serial clowner at the most inappropriate times(ie - when everyone is doing effizi, Vindi is trying to toast the shortest guy with the razzest lagos accent) ( Ill give myself 2.5- the 0.5 is for the fact that i aint a biach and I always have my friends best interest at heart.
*Looks wise....hmmm- Well Im not an 'acquired taste' so ill get at least one point.Last i checked, i was looking aight- i look good with or without make up and i dont look like a scarecrow in the morning so on that note...Aesthetically, id give myself another 3 points
and 1.5 for swagger-

The total is-8.5...hmmm- maybe I calculated wrong but anyhow...8.5 aint bad right...but i think id give myself a 7.99...noone is perfect...Id give myself an 8 but my christian life aint as bounz as id like (yeah, its my fault) but to be honest- i dont think im 7.99 or 8.5- Id like to see what you think...what would you give me out of 10?

4) If you could change one thing about your personality what would you change?

*Easy- to be that bit more open (NOT easy oooo) I said open - as per saying what is in my mynd...but apart from that, I think God did a pretty fantastic job

5)If you could change one thing about your body what would you change?

*I could easly write something here but Ill leave you with Psalm 139:14- I aint gonna knock the Creators work...
*Also, i think im so used to my body being this way that I am now very satisfied with my body- before i used to be soooo conscious and paranoid about my bathy but now I know that this is what im stuck with- I aint so sad...especially knowing that it could be a lot worse...and also knowing missy elliot says...'im really really hot'...hehehe- im playing

6) What do you seek in life?

Alright...deep question...lets hope I can answer it as fully as I can...
*World peace(I know right? I should really enter for Miss World)
*A good life for my fam and friends...i always have my friends and fams best interest at heart- no matter how angry i get...I dont know how my parents did it but even when someone has done me greazy, Ill still go all out for them- I suppose if Jesus was betrayed by his comrades and he still died for their sins, I dont see why I should be any different- after all- I dont need to die for their sins
*Success and everything that God has ordained for me...

7) Whats your favourite song?

* I have many so youll have to just wait on a sista...hers some off the top of my head
*ace of base- all that she wants
*Boyz 2 Men- Thank you in advance
*A whole lotta 90s music and 80's and 70's... 'you got to have a JOB if you wanna be with me'...
(talking of videos, did you see the official girl vid for cassie??-when lil wayne takes off his glasses he looks like a right crackhead...- i hope he is ok and sorts himself out soon)moving on...
*Musiq Soulchild -Just friends
*Common- the list is endless- electric circus album- As much as people say it was when dude was mad, i thought is was bananas...- maybe unwritten is per 'I fly like paper, get high like planes'- but on a real...Ive never done weed- that is not for me...
*Other songs- Big Pun 100%- mad jam...
*Noreaga- Super thug ( what what what what wha what!- ayo we light a candle...)
*Jae Millz- My swag- that is such a jam to walk into the club with...lemme set the scene... youre about to walk into Bungalow8 and the chauffeur opens the door for you...flashing lights, then the intro...


8) How many boyfriends have you had?

Cant count on both hands... maybe cos that would be none, dilch, nadas, narrings... commi-phobe- Commitment phobia...

9)I must ask you 10 questions by*thinks* Have you ever met a guy that met your Mr Right criteria or came close to it?

*Well yah..No, not Mr Sherfield, or Tin tin or Jack Slater... real people...Well there was one but he had a girl (they all do as i have learned...)... but as sade would say...he was the 'Sweetest taboo'- not sure about him being too good for me sha...The names Vindi, get to know...lawl! I thought he would give me the 'kiss of life' I really thoguht his 'love is king'...but i soon realised be was just a smooth operator...

10) Okay Last question. Describe your ideal weekend.
*Friday- go straight to bed after work- wake up at 10 to get ready to go out with some friends...go out... get food(chicken or lamb shawarma from Edgware road) go home...
*Saturday til about 10am-Sleep, wake up, make breakfast for the fam- ideally a bacon, mushroom, spinach and cheese omlette served on brioche with some freshly squeezed juice and some hand prepared exotic friut (papaya, mango, guava, lychee...)
*Lunch would be rice of some kind- my second love after gari...
*dinner- Someone else will make this cos ill be dressing up to go out for dinner...
*After dinner...PARTAY... with my friends
*Sunday- wake up early for church (im always running 'a bit' after church have brunch with my church chums...laugh, gist, cause trouble (nothing dangerous or illegal sha) go home with a frappucino in my hand...
But this weekend,,,all ive done is sleep...and wake up- im making dinner which means chicks aint going out this evening...

11) Sorry one more!! What do you think makes you so scared of commitment??
* Girl... This is an interesting one... I dont know... Its not like my parents are separated or anything...In fact quite the opposite thanks to God Almighty...hmm- I suppose its cos I know what im like and i know the expectations I have of God's chosen partner for me and knowing that because they are human, they may disappoint( I said MAY not WILL- but because Im risk averse, MAY will always worry me as much as WILL)...

Now from Miss P:

- How much gari have you drank? -

My girl- too much...I thank God i didnt get kwashoko... I dont know when it started sha... but the love hasnt faded...

-Were you at the jesus house picnic??

I think i was the only person in london (9ja) that was not at the picnic...Seems like the whole on the nigerian community was in that hendon park...dont woory- if i was there and saw you...I most def would have hollered...

Mr Sherfield... Why dont YOU call ME!?? Being cheap again I see...dont worry...noones perfect...anyhow, I deleted your number cos you didnt call...Waste man!lol! Im just playing!

Aight...this has taken a while...sorry if it doesnt make sense... thats me!

hope you lot are enjoying the fantastic sun...Im indoors and i want the heating on like now...

See you later peeps...especially you Mr!